As some of you know, I have an ongoing battle with bandits raiding the wife's bird feeders. (Actually it's the wife's battle, I'm just the hired gun.) Anyway, last weekend we took the kids camping at one of our wonderful state parks. A little break from the nightly firefights and trap setting. After paying $65 on top of the oppressive taxes we pay in this state to get into the place, we met up with three brother-in-laws and their families for some quality time. After enjoying a day of sunburns, mosquito bites and poison ivy we retired to the campsite and swilled down a few cases, told lies, and ate some bad camp food. Everyone called it a night around midnight and stumbled off to their campers/tents. About 2am I was awaken with a sharp blow from a Maglite and my wife telling me to get up and take care of that noise outside. There was a hellofa coon fight going on outside the camper complete with chattering, growling, and hissing. I asked what she wanted me to do about it cause the rangers get pissy when you discharge a firearm in the middle of the night in a state park. She said I needed to go out there and break it up. So, I stumbled to the door of the motorhome and quickly discovered what the commotion was about. They were fighting over a package of my bratwurst that the little bastards had lifted from my cooler. When I open the door they scattered and I picked up what was left, threw it in the fire and went back to bed. About an hour later i get smacked with the flashlight again with a "They're back!" This time they're in the BIL's cooler and they have a package of chocolate bars used to make s'mores. This time I have backup because he comes bouncing out of his tent in his scivvies and we both grab the marshmellow sticks and give chase. I did get a shot at one but led him too far and the stick stuck in the ground just in front of his nose. We cleaned up the mess and went back to the sack. Hour later they're back and this time going for the 30 gal. Rubbermaid tub, but now a couple of nephews have joined the battle and they're racing around the campsite smacking at these nearly domesticated coons with canoe paddles. Finally after we chased them off, we spent another 45 min. dragging everything inside or putting in the back of the truck and staggered off for about 3 hours sleep before my kids wake up whining about being hungry and the wife whining about not getting any sleep. (Although she wasn't the one dancing with coons in her undies half the night.) The only thing I could think about was getting a good quality air rifle to leave in the camper. If I'm going to chase varmits, I want it to be lethal.

Rich

Get a tomahawk, er, a camp axe. I have one hand made from Sweden just to chop CATS! It is famous as the "Kattly Klevarren" , the cat chopper. It would work good on Koons too. Just a suggestion. ned

Just finished writing this post and the wife called out that there were 4 kroons on the patio. Yap-Yap scared 'em away before I could get a shot. Good lord, I've shot 4 bandits and a grinner so far this season plus just bought a bigger Havakroon and I think I'm fixin' to get overrun. I need napalm!