You may recall my mention of Tick having seen the link I made up about PETA Training Lizards a short time back, and the lingering question about where it would end. Well......

The phoned rang last week in the morning, and he said he was in Athens, Ga. at a pay phone. I had a vision of him robbing a 7-11 to pay for the call, a brief one, as he launched into the tale of his odessey.

It seems that he had heard on the radio of a fund raiser down south a bit, sponsored by those very same creatures(PETA), and the link had triggered some sort of conditioned response, wherein the thought of small animals made him want to have some gator tail for dinner. He thought that for a small donation they would give him some bait.

Upon finding this was not the case a small scuffle broke out(small is a relative term), as he attempted to boost a couple of cuddley little crats. I won't bore you with all the details of his escape except to say he had no crats, but there was a contingent of shrieking she-creatures hanging onto his Ford F150 4x4 as he left more of his vanishing rubber supply in the parking lot. Probably a couple more gear teeth too. His skill with a clutch is wanting. I can't really write the way he talks for the most part, even practicing dyslexics are troubled by the pitch, rythem and nasal tone. Something like "Daa-un, them damn bofanna bitches pounded a dent in ma roof alla way down ta my noggin'!" Then, "Whut was thet noise?", when I blew coffee out of my nose.

It seems that the louder they screamed and pounded, the faster that old Ford flew, until when they went through Red Level, "One of them rod thangs come undone." After reading the local mullet wrapper a few days hence I realized what all the sirens out on US19 had been about. "Daa-un, we was doin' 'er, 'bout a hunert or mebbe more. When we went over the BIG BIRDGE, one of them crazy ladies jumped! Rat over the rail! She screamed alla way down! Man, it was really neat! Then she stopped." The bridge he refers to has a vertical clearance of 65 feet. "Alla cars got all excited and we had a big ol' wreck back behind us! I wanted to go back and watch but that other lady started clawin' at me through the side winder, and yellin' for the cops. So I had to keep on, ya know?"

He rolled into town and "Got me 'nuther truck." and left in another haze of smoke. It seems the crusader in the back of his truck followed him to the next, and as they roared north she resumed her OJT as a body shop technician, and expert lacerator. "Daa-un, she 'bout ripped ma face up like a damn ol' coon, then I bit her. Kinda bit her, ya know not havin' them front teeth don't let me bite real well an all. Well that woman liked it, me gummin' her finger an all. It was real spooky, lemme tell ya!"

Apparently love blossomed as they rolled north, love between strangers. Too, the various jurisdictions of the law had developed more than a passing interest in Tick and his new found lady friend as well, but it was then that he mumbled something about "John Q's a-comin' and I gotta scat! I call ya back Daa-un, honest injun!"

I can hardly wait.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.AnythingsPossible.InTheCornponeTriangle

Dang it Dan! It appears that Tick's liking for cats(for bait) may have led to true love with a like minded(sort of) cat lover. She seemed to be able to hang on like a gator, at least for the ride so thats good.

That's allmost scary,,,tree hugger tick,,omg,,,Clay

Seems that he is catched by a pussy-bait himself...

Regards,
Marterius

quote:

"Daa-un, them damn bofanna bitches pounded a dent in ma roof alla way down ta my noggin'