When someone is giving away kitties in front of a store, go back to your truck and get a burlap bag. Tell the nice folks you'll take all the kitties and then hold up the burlap bag and say
"Just dump the sweet little things in here". Make sure your eyes looked kind of glazed over.

That kind of reminds me of a chicken I tryed to buy at the county fair one time,,,,Shoulda kept my mouth shut when handing over the two bucks,,,,It was a fat one too Clay

Good one, OEH.
...or you could just give them the URL for this forum!

Freaking out cat lovers isn't really a sporting type of thing. They're such pansies that the least bit of perceived cruelty sends them into a tizzy.

I tell friends that back in my rural childhood the neighbor across the street would routinely deal with excess kittens by putting them in a burlap bag and drowning them in their backyard pond.

Freaks 'em right out. Even the ones that don't have a thing for cats.

That said, you might as well take every opportunity you can.

Does anyone else remember the adventures of "Stabby" from 2003/2004? I no longer have the site, but remember getting it from you sick freaks. The one about "drowning puppies" in the city pool was priceless....

120mm,

Digital Dan says you have a recipe for clay cat.
Sounds odd, can you share it. I have made concrete cat before but it wasn't for eating.

An old guy used to live across the street from my father-in-law. This guy probably wasn't that old, but I was much younger then. His wife and daughter had this old cat. He hated the cat, but the mom and the daughter loved the cat and spent mucho bucks on vet bills and stuff for it to play with, etc. (And they say guns are a waste of money) The dad was tired of spending money on a worthless cat and decided to do something about it. He couldn’t shoot it or make it “disappear†because his long-time loathing of the animal would send up red flags.

He decided, since the cat was getting “older†and had some health problems (read “vet billsâ€) that he would “stage†a heart-attack or some type of natural occurring malady for the cat to suffer so as to skirt the mom and daughters suspicions.

His idea was to take the cat, stuff it in a plastic garbage bag, suck the air out with the shop-vac (use # 1,002) and then put it in an old suitcase out in the garage for awhile to make sure it was dead. Take it out of the bag and place the dead cat out under some bushes in the flowerbed so it looked like it died of natural causes. He was going to put it in the freezer, but he would have had to wait until winter and there were too many variables.

He got an old stuffed animal that was roughly the same size as the cat to use as a practice animal. A couple of Saturdays when the mom and daughter went out to shop or do some other women thing, he got the stuffed animal out and practiced his scheme. He went through the whole scenario a couple of times and even timed how long it took him to complete the task so he knew how much time was needed.

Finally the day came and the “girls†left to go somewhere and he went into action. He got the cat, which was no easy deal since those little bastards can sense when you don’t like them, shoved it into the bag, sucked the life out of it and stuffed it in the suitcase.

Just about when he was ready to take the cat out of the bag so to speak, the mom and daughter come home. Something changed their plans and they decided to stay home for the rest of the day. So here is this dead cat, in a suitcase in the garage.

Over the rest of the afternoon, he got the cat out and under some bushes in the yard. He only had so much time before they started looking for the cat. It took the mom and daughter several hours to find to cat “dead from natural causes†but in the end he prevailed. He said there was some suspicion at first, but the mom called the vet and the vet said it was probably natural causes. All that just to get rid of a stinkin’ cat…

But it makes a great story...

Flippy, I agree. Entirely too much time spent on foreplay with this one. Better would have been for the fella to develope an interest in medieval war engines, and while the chickies were away, put ol' Tommy into low earth orbit. JMO.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.GetStraightTo.ThePoint

Oh, yes, clay cat. Start with a cat, preferable dead or disabled. Gut the cat, leaving fur, skin and head on, and stuff the body cavity with whole cloves of garlic, as many as will fit. Coat him with an inch thick coating (approximately) of clay. I like to use a light brown clay that comes from a hillside near my house. Put the clay coated cat in a pit of coals, cover with more coals, and cover the coals with earth or whatever. You can check the clay occasionally, but once the clay has hardened, remove from the coals and let cool. Once the fired clay is cool enough to handle, but still quite hot, smack it with a small hammer, shattering the clay. Peel the fired clay off the cat, and the fur, skin and guts will just come right off with the clay. Now you have a perfectly cooked (and cleaned) cat that will make a wonderful treat. Serve the roasted garlic on the side.

quote:

Originally posted by DigitalDan:
Flippy, I agree. Entirely too much time spent on foreplay with this one.

Dan, the scary thing is, this guy actually had fun doing this, and he told us about it...

Maybe the guy was pussy-whipped. Why not just shoot the cat and tell your wife "Honey, I just shot the f***ing cat. That felt so good I won't require sex for a week. Any objections?"

Wait, are you telling me that throwing said feline into a treechipper isn't "natural"?!


Toolmaker

You didn't hear me say that TM. Far as I am concerned that is death by natural causes! derf