http://www.metalstorm.com

The link might not have come through right, but take a look at these toys. Found it on the Mil' Surplus forum.

Dave.
....

Dave, they look a bit cumbersome to me and I've never signed off on the static defensive position idea. Back in days of old the concept attracted ancient war engines, today it's RPGs and other nasties. Not a shred(tee hee!) of doubt that they might work on crats since they're dumb as cement, but against the dreaded naked ape...

My .02 worth.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.ScrewThe.Treaty

Dan.

Wouldn't half clear the deck though, maybe the colaterol damage to next door might be a bit much too.....

Regards.

Dave.
....

Yes, we must keep damage to surrounding dwellings to a minimum...neighbors generally being of short humor and little imagination. Why else would they supply us with targets?

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.SilenceIs.Golden

Dan.

Just had a farmer'ish thought...what if we put down an old hay converor aimed at a bed of nails. Sort of what l proposed, but in reverse so to speak... no actual projectiles but a quick ride to rather nasty (and sharp) sudden stop at the end.

Not up to NS's standards l know, but got to start somewhere.

Dave.
....

I feel if the Area Denial Weapon System could be loaded with proper loads ( large paint balls filled with super glue , rusty nails or shot charges ) it would add a new level of cat killing .

Johnch

Dave, sorta like an automated punji pit? Yeah, I like that, use bamboo for the sharps and keep it sorta authentic!

John, ya gave me a flashback on that one dude! Two actually. One is Phugasse, or directed napalm for perimeter defense. Use a 55 gal drum filled with nape, boost it with a small charge(claymores work well) and an ignitor on the front such as a det cord in series with the claymore that wraps around a WP grenade. You can use sandbags to force the flow as desired, 2-3 layers behind, 1-2 on the sides and top as required, acts like a barrel. Cylinder bore.

The other, well, I shot a duck once with a frozen paintball, right in the back of its noggin'. Knocked the damn thing senseless for about 2 minutes too. Who knows the potential with a magazine full of frozen balls in a PB machine gun. Bet they sting a little though. Perhaps every 5th round should have the paint traded for Ol' Pepe's Skonk Juice so they'll have a souvenier to take home to momma?

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.CryHavoc.LetLooseTheDogsOfWar!

Well Dave, thanks for a bit of farmerish ingenuity. Ya got me thinking. Let me borrow a bit from your spark of genius. What if cats could be trapped as if they were actually row crops in a field? The combine would pick'em and blow them into a towed bin. The bin could be set on the front of a muck spreader, your conveyor if you will. The chain drive on the spreader would feed the cats into the "decompositioner" part and minor parts and chunks could be spread at the proper rate for effective utilization on the public commons or the great pastures of landed estates. What if the combine was really an urban tabby harvester you just drove down the back alley with heatseeking directional SUCKERS vacuuming the critters up automatically? What if....

Kinda like a Massey version of the Crat-o-Matic ain't it?

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.YourePhonesBeen.BusyAllDay

Yep, more than one way to skin a cat!

And every one of them is enjoyable as hell!

Area denial weapon,,Kinda reminds me of my wife on certain occaisions,,,I have to agree that thing looked somewhat cumbersome to lug around.My garand is way more better looking than that thing.The other ideas seemed pretty neat but I don't think the rest of the family would appriciate me booby trapping the yard,,That would probably win me a new wardrobe and a very different group of "friends" Have fun!!Kill'em All!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Clay

Ned,,I have just the thing you're thinking of at work,,It's called a nunes vaumn sweeper,,it has a fan thats 26" wide and 14" deep,,cleans an 8' wide swath,,blows everything into a 10 cu.yd. dump box that would be perfect for dumping into a spreader for even application, Clay

I too recall a vacumn devise but it was for sucking gophers out of their holes. Rather than firing them little fuzzballs into a padded hopper, maybe one could use compressed air to turn them into projectiles! Hmm, now what to call the projectiles or the device! derf

Nothing is too good for a crat!

derf, ya mean like one of those contraptions they use to pitch for batter practice? Or maybe tennis for the yuppies among us.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.Batter.Up! *

* Which leads to the eternal question: Does that mean 'with a ball bat', or 'with beer batter'? I must consult with DL...

quote:

maybe one could use compressed air to turn them into projectiles!

And you could compete the N.S. idea of a crat slinger.

I figure 30- 40 feet at chain link fence.
This distance would give us a proper F-focus factor,i.e. the stop action/slow motion would be crystal clear.
I can see that in the future we could compete with the Pumpkin chuckers.These are very serious big money dudes.They propel/shoot a pumpkin 2000 plus yards.
Boring.
Wrap a crat inna sabot and shoot it thru 5 feet of wet telephone books.

quote:

Wrap a crat inna sabot and shoot it thru 5 feet of wet telephone books.

THAT'S JUST....HYSTERICAL!!!

Oh Gawd, POTKB!

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.I.GiveUp

With a proper ram rod,,I think you could make the projectile comform to the bore. Clay,,,,,,,,,, http://www.squishthebitch.com

That's the spirit of FREE enterprise! Just as there lotsa cats there should be lots of different ideas on how to do it. Sort of a cat Kama Sutra. Some methods suck, Some blow, some are just weird. Remember me tellin last year about the city's leaf sucker truck that could suck a brick out of a ditch or a sleeping cat out of a leaf pile? How about the idea of a very, very , very long crat cannon with a slightly reducing bore and a low pressure charge, to compete against the pumpkin shooters?

I think that you are missing our on some fun...think of the hand eye coordination you could develop while trying to hit a "home run" with one of the crats as they were "pitched" to you from the deveice.....

Could also be a way to help out that future budding athlete down the street hit those tough curveballs thrown in baseball. A live cat should have some great movement that would require some skill to hit.

pd

I just love it...trust you guys to take it to it's wonderfull cratastrofic conclusion.



All the best.

Dave.
....

I practice hand-eye coordination with iron sights & a trigger!

quote:

Wrap a crat inna sabot and shoot it thru 5 feet of wet telephone books.

I watched an episode of Myth Busters a while back where they did just that, except they used frozen chickens to simulate migratory birds flying into the cockpit windshields of aircraft.
The created a sabot from some type of extruded foam, placed the chicken inside and let 'er rip. Forget the cockpit windshield, thay shot a chicken through a Ford Explorer.

I wonder what the ballistic coefficient of a saboted cat would be?

Approximately 0.0089 (rounded off).

quote:

Originally posted by DigitalDan:
Kinda like a Massey version of the Crat-o-Matic ain't it?

You guys are about 8 months too late - I proposed the very thing last spring.

BTW, those automatic pitching machines don't use a compressed air gun, but rather a high speed wheel with a channel in it:


Now what you boys want is mebbe something like this:

or this or for those real sicko's amongst you(I'm looking at you Ned! ), something like this




HTRN

Now whoa there redneck, er, hightech. I have a healthy intrest in managing our nation's cat security problems, stemming the flow of illegal cats arcoss borders, not allowing cat amnesty, saving citizens the heavy burden of cat expenses in the name of the public good, in short, as a famous poster says, "die felines", (latin for "kill 'em all"). I would hate for us to be having those Aussie problems with "bad" cats. Why right now I am trying to figure out how to use crats as weapons of liberty. You reckon it could be figured out how to put 'em in suborbital status with your machine there and arranging landing spots near the sandbox? N.S. Sherlock

Look up HARP.


HTRN

ahhhh, my adversary peeks out of his hole. the fat sweaty redneck has reappeared. now you are hearing harps. very good, the toxins from your injuries at your last battle are taking hold. you just thought you had won by vanquishing another of my soldiers. you should not have gotten within claw range. soon the woods will be clear of high tek redasses once more.

purrrrrrrrr

quote:

Originally posted by BIRMAN'S XO:
ahhhh, my adversary peeks out of his hole. the fat sweaty redneck has reappeared. now you are hearing harps. very good, the toxins from your injuries at your last battle are taking hold. you just thought you had won by vanquishing another of my soldiers. you should not have gotten within claw range. soon the woods will be clear of high tek redasses once more.

purrrrrrrrr

I don't think so, fLEAlioN. Welcome to the "New Redneck World Order". It is you who have been lured into the "fire sack" and now you will pay. I have captured one of your minions and I have him in the shop where he will divulge aLL of your secrets .....



As you can see, the cat will talk. And when it does, I will hunt you. You mewling, whining, flea-bitten, lice infested varmint. Your days are numbered .....

Teflon.

A Crat, a vice and powertools...a Christmas wish come true

Dave.
....

There you are Mr. Second Prace. Do you stirr cry for rost master? Birman-san rost to mist of time, he no more. You not in Kansas sirry pussy. Stop brubbering now, be arr you can be. Li can make you guest of honor at Golden Chopstix! You rike? Give you microphone and ret you make numba 10 fanny of serf! HA HA! You know this rittre sun man wave. What he mean GI? He cute Li think.
Two day back Li go truck hunt in "Lucy's Lakeside Trailer Haven". Li write that down just so, make sure arr GI know what say. You bic? Have big bag cat nip in back of truck, drag beau coup mouses on string. This carred "Teasing". Li read this from book by Mr. Lefty Kreh from Key West. He not gay. Just want you arr know that. Li take beau coup shuriken. Big bag so no run out. Make two drives around this 'Trailer Haven'. It prace arr sad peopre rive in cans. Li think sad because no eat much. Li trade arr shuriken for cat chop chop! Ha Ha! Too easy for me! Make new shipment in Jumbo Jet Kowroon this day and give arr sad peopre discount coupon for Golden Chopstix. With 12 get free eggrorr. Dragon Lady one fine rady! Ha Ha! Terr rittre Jimmy Bratowskiovich bring barr bat too. Li write that name arso. Trip on tongue too much for Jimmy. He say momma-san carred 'Broomhirda'. That rear name GI?
Li go now. Armost. Mr. Rast Prace, you dine on buffaro prop! Li cook you srow one day, fix you speciar! HA HA!

quote:

Originally posted by BIRMAN'S XO:
now you are hearing harps. very good, the toxins from your injuries at your last battle are taking hold.

I think you've been dipping into the toxins for a bracer, you syphilitic fleabag.

Soon enough, you'll be hearing HARPS. Of course you ears will be no where near them.


Still want a ride in my kitty kannon?


HTRN

quote:

Still want a ride in my kitty kannon?

Thats what I'm talkin' bout.
We could somehow invert it.Maybe hang it offa the side New River Gorge Bridge here in West Virginia.Fix up some kinda carrier/shothull, and tell the PETAS that it is a Bathysphere designed to explore the Core of the Earth.Lie to em more by sayin your trying to make medicine to cure kids who live in Iceland.Ya don't even have to come up with a affliction,they be goin'Oh wow, man.' Throwing money at ya.Dig 'tookie'up and prop him up in front of a wheelbarrow.Susan Sarandon would catch some paparazzi time maybe posing with the tookieman.
Back to HTRNs' cannon,how far would the Bathysphere go towards the Earths core? Maybe design something around a bunker buster design.
And would we really care?

quote:

Originally posted by N. S. Sherlock:
Sort of a cat Kama Sutra. Some methods suck, Some blow, some are just weird. Remember me tellin last year about the city's leaf sucker truck that could suck a brick out of a ditch or a sleeping cat out of a leaf pile?

Now, the reference to Kama Sutra sort of primed my imagination in the wrong direction, so at first I thought you wrote trucker sucker...

Here in Sweden we have a lot of problems with American minks escaping from farms. Since mink is not an indigenous Swedish species, they do a lot of damage to both trout and waterfowl. We hunt them and trap as many as we can but the Finns are even better then we are on killing minks. They use heavy leaf-blowers to blow them out cairns and burrows and then they are ready with a shotgun or a sharp terrier. I think something is to be learned here. At least a leaf-blower could come in handy for a small-scale operation when a crat hides under your car...

Excellent information Marterius. Do you think it possible to modify a Finn mink blower into a cat blower, so if one was hiding in the garage, or the utility room it could be blasted out to be met by a shotgun or a rottweiler? Oh yeah, I could use a couple of Swedish minx too.

HTRN - And God Bless Mr. Bull. Or rather, bless his soul, thanks to the Mossaad.

quote:

Do you think it possible to modify a Finn mink blower into a cat blower

I think it has been done because I heard about a guy who had a blow-job in a cat-house...

Thanks for the tip M, I'll find it. Yes 120, my post a bit back about the extremely long barrel, slightly reducing bore, and lower pressure charges was under the radar-Ha!

quote:

Originally posted by 120mm:
HTRN - And God Bless Mr. Bull. Or rather, bless his soul, thanks to the Mossaad.

Gerald Bull was a technical genius, but he had really bad judgement in clients - be happy Mossad wacked him, otherwise Saddam may have wound up shooting at you and you fellow soldiers with Babylon.


HTRN