Just getting ready for bed last night and heard from my old acquaintance Tick. Nobody calls at 11:00, so I new who it had to be. It was with great curiosity that I picked up the phone...and said "Hello".

"Daa-un! It's goin' on eee-leven O'clock! See, I know what time it is now! Lucinda done boughtn me a new watch!"
"Well Hell's Bells Tick, I'm right glad for you!" I hoped I sounded sincere.
"Yaa-uh! Man, it's one of those watches that tells all the times in the world!"
"You really need to know those things Tick."
"Yep, Lucinda says as much travelin' as we're doin', we need to know that. Hey, you know what time it is in Iwo Jima?"
"No."
"It's...lessee...near about 7 in the morning. Tomorrow? There must be somethin' wrong with it, cain't be tomorrow already can it?"
"Time is different over there Tick. Last time we talked you said you were outside of Lake City."
"Ya, I wondered if you was gonna ask about that, being as I tolt ya we was in Athens befer that. Ya got a good memory still, don't ya?"
"I don't recall at the moment."
"Haw! Well Daa-un we's up back in the Carolinas. Lucinda said she wanted to see the leaves change and get some of that famous crystal clear Carolina Mountain Spring Creek Water. I dunno whut fer, looks like any other water ta me. We been watching the leaves from up on this place called Ceasar's Head, yup, that's whut they call it. Looks just like a big ol' rock ta me. Ever heerd of it Daa-un?"
"Nope."
"They ain't changin' much."
"Maybe you have to watch them for a few days Tick."
"Oh, we ain't got time fer that. Lucinda's gonna be on TV, and we got ta go down to this here studio so they can video her jugglin'."
"She juggles?"
"Yeah, it's pert near the funniest thing I ever sawed Daa-un, she can juggle 5 peas with her tongue, all at the same time! What a hoot! And you know whut? She never gets 'em up her nose!"
"Tick, I am truly astounded. I'll bet she's the only person in the world that can do that."
"She is Daa-uu, and she's gonna get a contract and all, and get rich! Lemme tell ya though, that's not the onliest thing she can do with her tongue! Whoooeeee! Hey, you usta juggle dint ya?"
I interupted, "Tick, you mind leaving that to my imagination?"
"Yeah, she wouldn't want me talkin' out of turn now, would she?"
"Probably not. So, how was the trip up to Ceasar's Head?"
"Oh lordy, that surely was an adventure! Well, where was I?"
"Lucinda had started the truck so she could run over some crats."
"Oh yeah. Well, she dint hardly let me get in the truck afore she dumped the clutch on Ol' Bert's truck! Damn ol' gravel flyin' ever which way and stuff. I tried to get her ta slow down, but Daa-un, that woman has a mind of her own, I gotta say! Anyways, just like the time befer, you know Daa-un, when I lost ma watch? Yeah, only this time she got a twofer, a black one and a big ol' calico! Damn, ma heart swelled up so much, I was really proud of her for that!"

Right then a feminine voice came on the line and said "Please deposit an additional $2.00." Tick said "Woman, how about ya kiss my lily white ass!" The line went dead, and I went to bed.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.ThankGod.ForSmallFavors

And I was expecting a thread about small boats?? derf

Those two are a match made in heaven, Clay

I figured Dan had gotten a ph call, by the title.

Do not beleive Heaven is where this match came from, Tick and Lucinda, that is. Just be glad that Tick is not calling YOU late at night.

Hog Killer

Sounds like Dan needs Caller ID.