Have you any history of Parkinsons Disease in your family Poletax? It is curable in my time; don't know about yours but I doubt it. Medicine is not my field of expertise.

Those are harsh words Toolmaker. I really don't recall that we had any notable differences in the past, why would you call me a traitor? I would prefer that you consider me more enlightened, and of endless patience. Personally I take great pleasure in gently stroking my cats, but I do not expect everyone to embrace that level of oneness with them. I do not condem you for your thoughts and actions, I only hope to show you a different perspective. After that you would be free to make your own choice of course.

By the way, it is a Phased Ion Pulse Cannon, or PIPC if you care for acronyms. Some call it a "Pip-see", as in "Wouldn't you rather have a Pip-see too!?" Miss Ann of the north lands, I believe that your ATF does not have a 'Class' that would suit the weapon, and would almost certainly drop into a catatonic state if they found you out in the pasture 'trimming' the local wildlife populations. The problem would be their impending recovery and the liberal screeching that would follow. In addition, you would find several other agencies haunting your for years, like CIA, NSA, TSA, NASA, Area 51, and the NFL. In your circumstance I would suggest you consider 'low tech', and make the best of it. The blast signature of a Pip-see is difficult to obsure quickly.

Your friend,

James

poletax Capstick, that was a great thread title. You are on to what was suggested and have raised the forum's profile quite a bit. Now to flesh it out for a real whopper (story), now that you have us readers hooked. Don't worry about the multiple posts, they increase the kill probability of your story. Dan did well until he had another flashback to the unwritten youth travelogue he's been working on for some time. He solved his multiple problem with a single shooter. Ann of Great Fables is showing spunky too, working toward a totally new genre for us here: DEATH SPEARS IN THE DARK EARTH. Other contributors too. Toolmaker applying his science as always. By his own admission it appears that Adm. Kirk has cozied up to the puss side of the force, although it is hard for me to believe given his exemplory cat destroying service in the past. Maybe the strain of position got to him, or maybe, just maybe, this is double agent work starting to show and Birman is in for the big fall. Keep up the good work. P.S. I hear that 120 mm has gone over to the dark side too. FFFg, that is. ned

Ned, bless you for clarifying that for me about poletax. I just got back from the fishing forum and it echoed there a lot. I thought it was like, a residual or something, never realized he liked shotguns. Or machine guns.



Did you see the post on Wildcats about the 7mm Katzmaier Mag? I like the name already...



I better git before I have another flashback!



Dan



Pres., TYHC



www.Little.Roundtop

What can I say Generallismo, but....

Science is Dangerous! usually for the likes of Birman! Mebbe I can do a kids TV show like "Mr. Wizard"

Toolmaker

Why do I use the word "traitor"? Because until recently you were a loyal if somewhat perplexing member of the noble and ancient order of cat hunters. Instead you reject your brothers and sidle up to vermin, notably that foul little ball of fluff, Birman. There is no punishment great enough for this obscenity. It shall not be tolerated.

Toolmaker

DIGITAL DAN IS A FIRST RATE GENIUS! His comment about the 7mm. Katzmaier Mag just opened my eyes. I propose, in line with our "upgrading" exploration, that a do-all, end-all cat whacker cartridge of universal , worldwide application, be named, and, then we get one of the German sports here to translate the name into one of those awesome fifty letters long German names. This name then to be recognized worldwide, at least here, at the "official" gold standard of ranch cougar cartridges. What kind of buchse(?) will we have?

While I wait for the applause to die down, let me say first that I stirve to be first rate, but genius is beyond me. Except for brief transient flashes, usually while under the influence of sour mash or some such. It is absolutely astounding how smart I get at such times. Why once I did a complete mathematical proof regarding faster than light travel on a napkin in TGI Fridays. Lost the napkin though and don't remember a single thing about it. But you should see what I woke up with! She had one of those KGB accents, sorta like anyway.

Ned, I know what you mean about those 50 letter Teutonic tongue twisters, but haven't a clue as to what "buchse" is.

At to the cat whacking cartridge(dedicated), I've been considering this for a time, and this seems like a good time to let the Cat out of the bag so to speak. TM, pay close attention here! Back in RVN when I was making flashbacks for my future entertainment, I grew decidedly fond of the 2.75" FFAR Flechette. Nasty stuff if you were on the wrong end! Now I'm not suggesting that we all go out and buy antique gunships or anything like that, but I think a small bore smooth tube that launched flechettes at around 2000 fps would do nicely for me. While the Army considered them an area fire weapon, delivery to a precise target was very doable. Their advantage is a blend of rifle and shotgun, range and pattern. Although I'll take the long shot for giggles, I prefer the stalk, and to this end, I figure a dozen or so flechettes would provide adequate range and accuracy to make running shots to 200 meters, as well as the opportunity to nail their sorry flea bitten hides to nearby trees and mobile homes. Up close they would be quite...special! Okay, here's part of the name! I nominate the last word of the cartridge as the "...Special" Another original thought from DD.

Anybody know how to say 'SS' in German? You can spell it if you want, I still won't be able to say it. Try phonics!

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.NameThatCartridge.Now

Toolmaker, I really would like to have some productive conversation with you regarding your psychological abberations, and as you say, your "warped imagination". Once these two were like yourself,





Now look at us!







I would like to be your friend. I would like to show you the future of humanity, and I need a new engineer as well.



Your friend,



Jim*



*I like cats!

Admiral Kirk,

That last picture kinda scared me.

But... Back to the topic at hand.

I'm thinking a bolo load might be just the thing for a cat.

I'm also thinking that I will try my 300WSM on a couple that my wife abandoned when she moved out. Maybe a Texas heartshot at about 100yds.

Mebbe you should listen to your officers more!

Toolmaker

The yotes can supply thier own hogies.

The bolo loads I saw were 40 or 45 cal. balls with about 20" of piano wire stuffed in a sabot. Remarkably efficient.

All should take note of the use of quality cookware for home defense. As well, out of the frying pan, into the yote.

An additional warning:

Entering the ballistic coefficient of a castiron skillet into your trajectory calculation software may void the waranty.

Someone else will have to work out the numbers.
My best guess is an eight lb. skillet moveing at about 60 fps. won't make your computer barf as bad as my wife did.

I must admit to an image that is not complimentary sir, but well done! As is often said, a picture is indeed worth a thousand words! My condolences on what I presume to be a past relationship.



Toolmaker, I think that was cute, but you are putting words in mind that were never spoken. I beseech you to stop this foolishness before I have to get rough!





Still a friend,



Jimmy

Admiral, regarding your signature line, Why then did you not "kill or screw" the tribbles? derf

Swamp, that sounds kind of like "woven buck". derf

derf, without trying to sound superior or anything of that nature, it is suggested that you review your Star Trek history. As to the first part, the Tribbles in the photo ARE dead. Regarding the second, I'm not that petite.

There you have it sir.

Your Friend,

Jim

Would you like to borrow my chipper to handle your tribble "problem"? It works equally well, live or dead, tribble or tabby!



Toolmaker



P.S. What are you were implying about "past relationships"? Be very careful about how you answer, I have a conversion bomb and I'm not afarid to use it!

Admiral, your signature line didn't say that the object of your lust had to be alive! derf

The Truth is that we have understated the essence of what we do in conserving wildlife, controlling marauding felines, and retelling the adventures of a lifetime here on the cat forum. I almost always read the African hunting forum, and am always amazed at the upsmanship involved in hunting retelling there. But, consider for a moment some of the exciting topics we might have posted here if we wrote like our Brothers of the Gamefields who hunt in Africa. "Where to hunt both Pussy and Squirrels with the same PH on the same reserve?", "Can anyone reccommend a good outfitter for Landfill Panthers?", "Just back from Zim...(actually, Cedar Rapids outskirts)", "Ever hunt with James T. Dooldlerhofeer Safari and Pig Farm Ventures, Inc?", "Montezuma Lion success at the Green Collection Rollout", "My first Plains Lion in Ga.", "Onanoondayskunk Lion of the Hemlock Brush Suburb...., a snowshoe nightmare under the birdfeeder". May I suggest we upgrade our posts to better reflect the full range of accomplishments of our sport.

Um, well, no special stories here for you Ned and Dan.

HOWEVER, I did plug a large possum this morning that I trapped using Buckeye Brand dog food kibble. My lab, Briar, willfully contributed some of her dog food for this endeavor. Though it was supposed to be for a maurading skunkola(s) that is shredding my lawn and stinking my air space.

Can anyone lend me a Plasma Burst Phase Cannon or two?

The trap has been reset.

Since my old neighbors, the Attica Hillbillies from Finland moved I have not had a porch panther problem.

Intersting story there, Danno.

God knows I'm tryin' Ned, but that rascal Birman keeps muddying the waters. It gets distracting sometimes.

Then sometimes I have these flashbacks, and it's time for the meds. I slipped out today into the gulf, where the only cats are fish, the waters calm and the sun low in the west. Was working around Porpoise Island, a forsaken little islet that was surely under water in its entirety during Jeanne a week or so back. Seems like a lifetime now. Anyway, I was working a Sage 8 wt., double hauling to reach a tailing redfish on the east end of an oyster bar. Beautiful, tranquil, and....RrrrUUUUuuuuuMMMMMM, RRrruuuuuummmmmMM. An Airboat in the distance. Well, I have no use for those noisy contraptions at all, and as my blood pressure went up it hit me!

I was in the foxhole in Quang My, Ma-duce glowing red, tracers and RPG's flying everywhere! The screams, I'll never forget the screams! OH GOD! the screams! Recoiless rifles cracked, mortars ker-whumped, and when all seemed lost, came the building shriek of a brace of A4's off the Oriskany. God bless those boys, catching AAA in their teeth and shittin' fire! By God it was stirring! I'll tell you I damn near stood up and saluted! They roared down the line, pickled 2 cans of Napalm each, and I want to tell you the truth Ned, it was BEAUTIFUL! I did jump up out of the hole then and did a damn cartwheel! Weren't nobody going to survive that one for sure. Sucked the air right out of their lungs---WOOOOF! God bless Douglas Aircraft, Dow Chemical, and Uncle Sam's Misguided Children! Semper Friggin' Fi! Bless the Anchor Clankers too!

Well, then they were gone, as quick as they'd come...poof. The pall of war drifted across the battle field, the screams now just muted moans, mewling whimpers. The smell, it was like...cat. Deep fried in peanut oil...well, I was kind of hungry, and we'd just defeated the 2nd Regiment, 4th Division of the vaunted Pussy Galore Highland Tabbys! Nothing finer after a busy afternoon that warm beer and fresh hot mountain manx, and that's the pure truth as I know it.

I came out of it, the redfish was gone, the airboat too. My fly line was wrapped around me and the poling platform and no-seeums were sucking my blood way to quick. Thank God for Hewes and Suzuki! I just had pizza for dinner...

I shall endeavor to embellish my future postings in the spirit of Africa, and the hunters that lie in wait...or is it those who lie while waiting to hunt?

Hey Birman, what do you do with an elephant that has three balls!?

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.Sentimental.Journey

why did that happen?

"Death in the Mowed Grass" by poletax Capstick.

Pfffft! Real hunters use conversion bombs! Admittedly there a little rough on the real estate, but thats the price you pay for doing a job proper. "Phase cannon" sounds an awful lot like "Phaser", the tool of choice for the recent traitor Kirk. Ann, your not thinking of switching sides on us are you?

Toolmaker

Heck no!

I think I heard the phase cannon thing on "Stargate". Just this morning it looks like I have scored another notch. I can see one of my mole traps has fired. I like those spike jobs on a spring. The only bad thing about them is half of the time the impaled victim is still wiggling.

I hate moles almost as much as skunks.