At 5:00 AM...

"Daa-un! What's up!?"
"Tick, you know what time it is?"
"Naw, lost my watch. When my woman tried runnin' over that cat."
"Do tell."
"Well, we was beatin' feet up 19 and you know the big bend in the road there at Lebanon Station? Well, we was just startin' inta that when I saw them blue light flashin' up the road, so's I turned off real quick like, onta 121 and headed up that-a-ways. I knowd some back roads around theres and sure don't want Albert ta not git his truck back and all. Hey, you wanna call ol' Bert and tell him I got his truck?
Well, we went up a bit and went north on 436, and about then Lucinda, that's her name by the way, well, ol' Lucinda...ya know I think I'm startin' to like older wimmen, now ol' Lucinda she starts gettin' kinda friendly, all chummy like, and well I sorta like that and all. We was movin' right along and she was telling me what a MAN I was, and how she dint really like cats and all, she was just tryin' ta be helpful and all, that's how she was at the cat thing where it all started. Ya know? Then..,"
"Tick, where's this heading?"
"I was gettin' there, now lemme talk!", his tone a bit petulant. "Daa-un, she was starting ta do things I never knowd befer, and damn if we wasn't goin' a whole lot faster by then! Ya know the Baker Place? 'Bout 5 mile up the road thar? Ya, well, we was comin' up on it, and like, I thought this is really cool like, and I lit a cigarette 'cause you know, it was like the cool thang to do, and we was goin' faster and faster, and then she raised up 'bout then, and there was this damn ol' tom cat sittin' by the side of the road in front of Baker's place, and alla sudden she let out a yell like she was a Rebel soldier at Manassass, grabbed the wheel and gave 'er a yank!
Daa-un, I think I screamed or sumpin' and tried to grab the wheel! I think that be when the cigarette went down my pants. Well, ol' Lucinda smacked that cat purt near flat with both tars and the rocker panel too, then she yelled "I really hate cats!". Then I screamed 'cause there was this phone pole comin' up real fast, and I remember that was when I figgerd out ma balls was on far too."
"Tick, which one was most important?"
"Daa-un, sometimes I think you just like sportin' with me, like you really don't care if I'm in a tragedy or sumpin'."
"No Tick, I really do care, sorry I interrupted." By this time the wife was up, had some coffee made and Tick was on speaker phone. I had to share with someone.
"Well, the phone pole was most important if ya really hafta know Mr. Smary Pants. So's I grabbed the wheel again and yanked 'er back to the left and we missed the pole, thanks to Jee-sus! Then I remember I was on far, and yelled to Lucinda to grab aholt of the wheel! She's a good woman too Daa-un, dit just whut I tolt 'er, and then I stepped out onto the runnin' board ta get the far out."
"Tick, I don't recall Bert's truck having a running board."
"It don't. My truck did. I fergot 'bout that." He sounded a little sheepish about that.
"You get the fire out?"
"Yep, sure did. I disremember exactly where and how, but it went out. That's when I lost ma watch. Lost a goodly part of my jeans and shirt too. Lucinda says the skin'll grow back OK, won't be but a few scars. Ya know she usta be a nurse?"
"No Tick, I didn't, but she sounds like the right kind of gal for you."
"Oh Daa-un, she IS!!! She came back and got me, then found a place out of the way to patch me up, then started driving us north again! Heckuva woman!"
"Tick, Where are you?"
"We's just outside of Jasper, kinda waitin' fer it to get dark. Again."
"What did you want to tell me?"
"Don't rightly remember now. I think everything will be alright Daa-un...Oh Jee-sus, there's some cats up the road, she's startin' the truck! Daa-un, I gotta go, I'll call ya back buddy!

I think I'll have another cup of Joe.

Great stuff Dan thanks for sharing.

Sounds like if Tick screws up,,,,Lucinda is going to have his sorry ass for lunch,,,Clay http://www.wherestick.com

"Teach a woman to really like cats and...."

Good fiends are hard to find...