Nephreni-Ka, at Wadi Killkitti, are located on the banks of the Nile, approximately 200 miles south of Giza. the earliest catacombs known to man are to be found there. the construction pre dates the famous hanging gardens of baghdad by thousands of beers, and even the earliest beginnings of the sewer system of nineveh. as you know, the egyptians domesticated cats and thus unleashed the curse of the mummy. discovering their mistake too late, the only thing that could be done was to destroy their evil creation run amuck. they did this by slashing, bashing, mashing, trashing, trapping, snapping, grappling, whapping, zapping, and so forth, every cat they could lay their ceremonial hands upon. i note here that these kinds of words, related to dealing with the solving of the curse, are the almost the only ancient egyptian words to be found in colloquial language today. to effectively end the curse, the evil cats, or their remains had to be dipped in chocolate , wrapped in cloth and burried forever. the egyptians were great diggers before they learned about pyramid power and thus designed and dug the Killkitti catacombs to store the cat mommies underground in bulk. chocolate melts easily is why they went underground. it was only a dim memory of the curse and the cure, which was partially screwed up in the handing down and information dissemination aspects of the great event, that caused successive ancient civilizations in that part of the world to dig catacombs mistakenly: i.e., nineveh sewers zig-zagged fron house to house, each zig adding its load to each zag (and weren't catacombs at all), the hanging gardens of baghdad were 180 degrees out from what a catacomb should be, that is, down, not up, the persians didn't build anything except giant labrinthine camel barns, and the romans, even much, much later, muffed the translation really badly and put human bodies in the complexes they dug. nevertheless cats escaped. they were and still are nurtured by the benighted, and the curse of the mummy is, even now gaining in power and aligned with the evil of peta. nuff said, warn your loved ones. ned

And in our last episode, our hero, Killian Katz had discovered the evil secrets of the ancient catacombs, while trying to rescue the lovely and mysterious enchantress Green Friskies, who was being held in the wretched clutches of his archenemy, the cruel and sadistic "Bermani the Merciless". Will our hero save Miss Friskies from a fate worse than death? Will Killian be able to escape the evil secrets of the Cat-acombs? Will the narrator ever be able to stop speaking like he's in a 1930s "B" action-adventure film?

Stay tuned, for our next episode, when we'll hear our hero say: "Wait a minute! That's not a beard!"

Until then, remember,

When you've dated her thrice,
and you still haven't kiss'd 'er,
Have no fear,
go out with the sister!

"Birman Shave"

Aw guys, I'm hysterical! Wife thinks I've slipped the clutch etc. Funny stuff!

Ned, first the catapult, now the 'combs. I am in awe! Tell us about the CATastrophy please, we can hardly wait.

it was a dark and dreary morning. Herr doktor Professor Draw Handschumann quietly rolled up the papyrus scroll he had been examining and blew out the bright flame of the cat oil lamp. in reality he was a secret agent of the gubbermint, Killian Katz, catacomb raider. he was the one who had first discovered that Birmani the Merciless was a descendant of the earliest cats domesticated by the ancient egyptians, who almost immediately set out to destroy their evil creations. he now knew that the enchantress, Green Friskies, was safely flying to a secure location to await further instructions. all this he knew. he was satisfied that he could prevent the next CATASTROPHE. but something stuck in his mind and repeated itself over and over, like a "b" movie theme, like the picture of fay raye in Kong's hand struggling and crying for mercy. then it came to him in a grand flash of insight. he still had 187 more mre's to eat before he could go on vacation. ned

Oh thank you kind sir, my life is complete.

Nothing like a good cat tale.

The stars align once again, for I was pondering how to spin today's tale of woe begitting mirth. Well...

I've been converting Red Cedar stumplets into stools of late. A common pastime of the retired, retarded, and recently, the very vexed. It seems that to attach legs, which are only smallish short logs, stripped of bark, sanded, shaved to fit the holes bored into the sawn-in-half stumplets(lenghtwise), the easiest course is a blend of expoy resin. On the second welding of wood to wood I used a "new" batch of West System epoxy....it did not set. Oh I say unto thee, the Dan, Master of all strange glues, resins, alkyd varnishes and even on odd occasion the leg of newt, has NEVER had a two part batch of anything fail to set. Not in hundreds of gallons of all strange blends and colours. It has to do with my days sliding the big waves, high gee backside bottom turns and hangin' ten...but I digress...

It did not set. Not yesterday, or today. Nor did the second batch, done to verify I'd mixed the proper ratio. I was seriously bummed dudes. I'd rather take gas at the Pipeline than have such a CATastrophy. Well, I pondered for a spell, then the neighbors tortoise shell crat wandered over to see what I was fuming about.

Ya know what? Denatured alcohol is a good solvent for epoxy resins, but I always hate to trash a perfectly good shop rag for such affairs...but by damn, crats work really well for that! Just douse 'em in alcohol, scrub the goo off of everything and toss 'em aside! What this has to do with chocolate CATacombs I'm not really sure, but damn if they don't run home in a hurry! And sooner or later that stuff will harden...it won't melt in the sun BTW, so with a little luck it'll be glued to the floor in front of the fireplace by tomorrow AM.(Heat is generally the Rx for slow kick resins)

I await with bated breath, the first shriek of dispair eminating from the O'Toole household. I am truly curious to know exactly in what pose the crat will choose to spend eternity.

As always, wear gloves when messing with epoxy. Otherwise you cannot avoid leaving prints and such for CSI.

Dan

POTYHC

www.BetterLivingThru.Chemistry

Wow,thanks guys.
This was posted long before I came in and muddied the place up.
I am humbled.

In my profession,I've deemed it very convienient to carry a box of extra large nitrile exam gloves in the vehicles I use on a regular baisis,,Bleeding injector lines,after the operator discovered the fuel guage really does work,handling pesticides,,generally dealing with greasy,oily,dirty,nasty things,,miles away from soap and water,,Also keep a handfull at home for handling wifies habanero's,,,Clay

quote:

Originally posted by DigitalDan:
I've been converting Red Cedar stumplets into stools of late.Dan

Good Gawn man, I have heard that older people need more roughage in their diet but that is harsh! I sure do hope that you don't have an allergy to Cedar. derf

WOW - and i thought I was having one of those days