What the heck is going on? I never have the fun you guys do. Today I went out, tapped the primer bulb 5 times, pulled the cord and with a puff of blue smoke, the mower started. No cat under there. Not even tracks around. I looked up and there is a FAT puss just jumping down off the fence into the neighbor's yard. Now I have to start the routine; track, bait, watch, call, on and on and on. What the heck? Do you get wifey a new cat or two every couple of weeks to avoid the stalk and shoot routine? or are you buying the durn things for use in a high fence scenario? Got a "cat wanted" sign out front?

Ok. If you really want to join the club I'll tell you the secret.

Buy a can of cheap sardines. Bury them in which ever flower garden your wife is expecting to bloom next. (The hard part is listening long enough to get the onfo you need. Drink lots of coffee before showing intrest in the wifes garden. It looks bad if you nod off.)

Your wife will be begging you to "do something" about the cats.

Thats Super Mr. Swamp Fox. The force is strong in your methods. I think you can acsend to master level like some of the legends here.

And I though one of my former neighbors was a good gardener. He used to bury carp in his flower beds. He said they made good fertilizer. We used to sit on his back porch and shoot cats with CB caps and drink beer when his wife was away. He said the cats also made good fertilizer. He good too old and ended up in a nursing home. The nurses keep humoring him when he asked for his caps all the time. They never new the secret of his garden of good and evil.

Excuse my poor editing. He GOT too old, not he
GOOD too old. I must be getting old-timers disease.

Well, that isn't as bad as my KRAFT Disease OEH! derf

N. S. Sherlock,

I believe I am the only one here that has scored a double with a single toss of a cast iron skillet.

The force....... Indeed.

S. Fox, search deep within the archives and lore of the elders. Many a cat has been dispatched with a skillet, and doubles noted. Perhaps Mr. Turtle skipped an 8" Griswald cast skillet off four cats in one toss, like skipping stones on a pond. But one must start somewhere. BTW the reverse often happens: many cats are tossed into skillets. N.S. Sherlock

There is a difference in sound though. One sizzles, the other goes "thonk" with a little ring, followed by a screech and hiss. Kinda like Rap.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.BackAlley.Rythem