My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. I stopped to look. It was only a cat. ned

"This your crat?"
I said to the lady aghast.
"When you let them run wild,
I find it a blast!"

Dan

POTYHC

www.DoubleClutchin.Fool

Did yer truck damage the porch?

Crat Haiku

Crat slinking on road
Large truck tire making loud noise
Flat crat stuck on tire

More Crat Haiku

Thumping tire, what’s that?
Crat in the road, damned thing’s flat
Great start to the day

Springing across road
Streaking form meets spinning tyre
Streaks now on asphalt


Samurai Dan

POTYHC

www.Ginsu.Knife

Scope cross hairs on fur
Fat feline oblivious
Red mist fills the air

Kevin San

You guys are regular Edgar Allen "Poems".

You guys are great! Far beyond the Birman shave mumbling of an old ludd. I am thrilled with your genius in the difficult, demanding "cat haiku" mental discipline. " Red Ginzu sharp and slicing, cat in retreat, blade sought a dance, cat had no feet."

Howz about some crat limericks?


There once was a crat from Bellaire
Who’d strut and put on haughty airs
With duct tape and rammin
I charged the crat cannon
And shot his ass plumb to Eau Clair



A crat on my front door did mark
He’d tease my old dog till he’d bark
If a time traveler I were
I’d go back and make sure
Those damned crats never boarded the ark

There once was a Yankeetown man, who wacked town cats in pairs, They got no relief, so what's the beef, since he got them from bluehairs.

Ah, I gotta go get me a new keyboard...


Dan

POTYHC

www.Erudite.Conservationists

I can't do limmericks
It's just not in my bag of tricks
I have other fields of expertise
Like loading Crats without bear grease
They hiss and scratch
So I like to do them in small lot batches
Bring on the powder, even David Souter
And we'll see what kinda trouble
We can hatch.

No PT I did not run the cat down on someone's porch. It was fair chase all the way. My new mud grips helped in the ditch though. ned

Porches aren't fair chase? WTF??? Why am I always the last guy to get the word?

OK panzerguy, I admit I used to sort of chase them onto porches in my younger days. But it was gettin expensive what with the new gecko people tightening down on my insurance claims and then one of 'em saw the seven(think times 5) pawprints stencilled on the door of the last truck I wrecked when I swerved because of a cat that ran out in front of me, and they started asking the neighbors absurd questions, so I gave it up; porches that is. Darn CAT LOVER C(at)SI clowns! I do have some ethics you know. I have never baited a curbside location with fresh pizzas to attract cats like SOME guys have though. To provide a little technical information help to the noobs, I usually emulsify tuna canned in pure oil in my quisinart and keep it in sort of a water baloon manner till its time to establish the lure location. Works in two days. But I do it in the middle of the HWY so's I have more manouver room at speed. You are always the last guy to get the word because you are always thinking of something else and not paying attention. Its pure hell having to do that when you really want to be doing something else. Don't feel bad though, think of poor PT up there in GOD's country, almost heaven, suffering from a scarcity of cats and having to be rat fishing in the Big Kanahwa, or finding cartoons for us. Great Regards, ned

quote:

or finding cartoons for us.

Yer very welcome.

I ain't as 'other worldley' as you guys. I'm Haiku in the 'mildly retarded' areana.
Soooooo, I found a 'toon that suited me and hopefully my others.In here, we are all our others.Creepy, huh?
What better a rescue worker than a crat inna' Lagoon?Lagoons are nasty enough, just right for Duchess.
That rat fishin' is for entertainment purposes only.The game warden that watched us for awhile was pissed that he couldn't write us up.Don't need no Rat Stamp on yer licence.The DNR is probably workin' on that one.
Those guys are Assholes on purpose.They go to school for that.

Li think Gaijin Haiku okay. Not best but okay for GI. Herp you boys out this time. OK?

Feroin on swift foot
Race headrong to obrivion
Ninja berry furr

There. That how do it boys. HA HA!

quote:

Originally posted by Dragon Lady:

Feroin on swift foot
Race headrong to obrivion
Ninja berry furr

Gaijin Haiku



Don

Digital Dan the old cat hater,
Stashed a cat, in his old frigerator,
Then to further the harm,
Drove past a lizard farm,
And fed it to an old alligator.

The gator got his stomach upset,
So much so, they called in a vet,
The vet, he did holler,
"You left on the collar",
But the end of the crat had been met.

The keepers were questioning why,
They wondered if that crat could fly,
Could he have flown south?
Then in the gator's mouth?
Or was it just another drive-by?

Frosty, I am humbled. I recall that I don't actually hate crats, but it does require some creative culinary flair to make them palatible.

Dan

POTYHC

www.WhatPartOf.Florida?

While searching for pussy divine,
A brunette, with a real fine behind,
With her crat she called muffy,
With a face flat and puffy,
I damn near went out of my mind.

Her behind was curvy, not flat,
But I couldn't quite get past her crat,
It was right in the way,
When we rolled in the hay,
So I thought about pounding it flat.

Beneath the weeping willow we sat,
To be honest, I sat on her crat,
As a fondled the lass,
Her crat bit my ass,
So I swung it around, like a bat.

In my mind, I was ready to hump,
Her crat then connected, with a stump,
Of a gnarly oak tree,
I just giggled with glee,
Then my attention went back to her rump.

She sat down and started to brood,
I couldn't get her back in the mood,
As her crat staggered by,
She started to cry,
And I was wishing it was gator food.

She got up and walked-off in a huff,
After what I had done to her muff,
But I got satisfaction,
From her feline impaction,
And that was satisfaction enough.

WWW.StAugustine.com

Believe it or not!

Dan

POTYHC

www.TooManyCratsInThe.Loft

It happens that way sometime. We have had many tales here of woe, or no, concerning the puss.

In Spring we switch from studded tires
and this got my ire
for with regular tread
crats I can no longer shred

Dragon Lady quick Stir fried cat served with meow This much can be said