No, not the Dimocrats on the campaign trail, the other kind. Well, not really the REAL flying squirrels, the ones I'm thinking about launching. My yard and immediate neighborhood is totally overrun by the little bastards and they are starting to ANNOY me!

The obvious treatment is the CB Short which I can employ with impunity in this circumstance, but after reflection I've decided to become a movie producer! Some genius from the past developed a thread here about using a CATapult contraption to help cats on their evolutionary path toward aviation, so while not original it will probably be just as funny. After some discussion with the wife the site of launch has been determined, the proper camera location as well. Question now is whether or not I can send them across the river for a dry landing or do they get to swim? Standby for video, it may take a little bit to put it all together. Sorry I can't have you trap shooters over for warmups, the folks on the other side might not understand the espirit or have faith in your wingshooting skill.

Hope Albert and Li'l Bob show up for the maiden voyage!

Dan

Pres., TYGC
www.KittyHawk.South

FWIW, you should be very careful what you choose to put in public view. We wouldn't want to be reading about you in the news.

If them little buggers aren't "Carrier Rated" it would be best to go for the "feet wet" approach! Should be easier than cats as squills aint as smart. Suckers for peanuts too! Just another quick thought being of Scots extraction,it occured to me that you might want to "crazyglue" the peanut to cut down on costs! derf

Gentlemen, we are now cooking with gas! START YOUR WAR ENGINES! ROTF

derf, Oy Vey!


Dan

Pres., TYGC

www.SpeakingIn.Tongues

Macdonald of ClanRanald



I'm not gong to get into the clans long and glorious history here. I will say this, my families coat of arms(not the clans) has the motto "By Aim and By Effort". Rather appropriate considering my interests



Toolmaker

Kindly excuse the hiatus in thread participation, with particular apologies to Aunt Tabby. Had to return to rehab for just a small touch-up.

The idea of a true cat-a-pult, a mechanical (viz. chemical opp. cit.) felis-howitzer intrigues. Indeed. And despite annual treatments of electroconvulsive shock therapy all during the 80s a dim glimmer of the haint of the outline of a feeble memory begins to materialize; yes, yes, now I'm beginning to remember. I see a massive lever actuated by enormous coil springs, hinged to nuclear grade plate with a 2 inch diameter chrome vanadium steel bolt, said plate grouted and welded directly to 12/4 rebar in a Pontiac-sized foundation in the back yard. Original intent was to loft garbage and household detritus from the Wolverton Mountain hovel directly to the town landfill, bypassing the trash pick up service (ironically owned and operated by the local flea market merchant, who knew?) as well as obviating the applicable municipal ordinances regarding hazardous waste, organic byproducts and offal, ammonium nitrate fertilizer and other low explosives, and UXBs. Turns out that the device's moment-arm acceleration was too much for the flimsy trash barrels available then and the poor souls living nearby and downwind of the landfill objected to sealed 55 gallon drums stencilled with skull and crossbones landing in the wading pool and hog-rendering pit. So that idea went out with all my and President Ford's Whip Inflation Now buttons. But immediately before the local geheinestaatzpolizie, court order in hand, forced my guardians at litem to disassemble the catapult I did try it with a live passenger. This was Mr. Merlin, the Skye terrier from two doors down. Mr. Merlin was finding my yard an auspicious site on which to pinch his daily loaf.
Thus: two cans of premium dog food, open and warm, in the launch pan; the trigger cord leading to the den window; Mr. Merlin, trotting just after dawn to Clifton's back yard; Mr. Merlin awakens to the delightful bouquet of warm equine lights wafting from the open cans. Mr. Merlin looks about, wary. Mr. Merlin investigates. Mr. Merlin mounts the launch pan. Mr. Clowers hauls back on the trigger cord. Mr. Merlin is a tiny and dwindling speck in the azure dawn sky over Wolverton Mountain. Not a trace of Mr. Merlin was ever found. The memorial services were moving, though not as fast as was Mr. Merlin at last sighting. May it please the court to note that Mr. Merlin was approximately the size and shape of a large Felis fecalithoris. Any deranged toolmakers, industrial saboteurs, derfoplasms, slayers of innocent skeets, or perhaps even the Danus Magnus himself, might consider experimenting -- out of sight of the local constabulery and of the PETA nazis of course -- to determine whether a Mr. Merlin sized organism is capable of surviving the first few milliseconds of loft. Set the parachute activation device for six thousand feet. If it's too high, oh well, there are more experimental subjects where that came from.

Here ya go........with a bit of luck you could even throw doubles !

http://www.cornealgumbo.com/showvideo.php?id=18

Deranged? DERANGED?! Dedicated, certainly. Obsessed, possibly. But deranged? Yeah, well, I guess so! Thinking about having the wording in my degree changed to "Misapplied Science"

Toolmaker

I must admit oversight in regards acceleration computations, and even though they are Cat Squirrels in local vernacular and are possibly Cat Qualified, I've not seen one with "Stapp" on his name tag, so maybe they aren't rocket sled savvy. Of course, "G" has to do with acceleration not weight, but let's say 0-140 mph in about .12 seconds, 5' fulcrum. Is Squirrel Frisbee on PETA's list of approved sports? Should I employ a bungee on the peanut? Anybody know my EX's phone #???

Clifton, you think Merlin will be laughing with them or at them?


Dan

Pres., TYGC
www.IfDogsHad.Wings

OldBob, I remember this clip. The problem is a lack of distance with the pigeon launcher using squills. One must remember that clay pigeons are more aerodynamically shaped.
How about something along the lines of an oversized spring gun pellet rifle. 2 in bore x 4ft long barrel! Peanut glued to the bottom,peanut-butter lube? derf

Peanut butter lube may be a bit to sticky and slow velocity rather than enhance it .Maybe a launcher such as you describe could be built as a "cartridge " gun.A removeable section of "barrel" with spring loaded, pivoting ends would serve dual purpose function of trap and cartridge............wish I could sketch on here , but you get the idea.

go to stupidvideos.com and look for the vid flying squirrel. (it helps if you click the "alphabetical" tab.

I keep thinking of a smaller version of the cat cannon,,,with copious amounts of black powder incorporated into the plan.Maby a wad between the powder and victim,,as not to dis-flavor bob and al's treat,,,Clay

It's a thought Clay but I wonder how to set that up. Bob & Al might not be too concerned about the taste in any case, they eat tennis shoes sometimes. At least some Gators do anyway, not sure about my boys. I'll relay your concerns. Another thought, since Gators eat pussy maybe a little powder residue wouldn't be noticed? Still another thought: as I read your post I thought you were going to suggest using a cat for the wad. Not a bad idea if I can pull it off, will call it the "Flying Smorgasboard Cannon". Wonder what kind of pattern it will have at 30 yards? Do you think the blue hairs will mind? Will the fellas become tuned to the sight of white smoke, Pavlovian responses automatic? Will they slither to the burn pile, jaws poppin'? Maybe join the kids for the Friday night marshmallow roast?


Dan

Pres., TYGC

www.BackToTheDrawing.Board

Well if they chew on old tennis shoes,,,,so be it,,probably like a piece of gum to them.The wad is more for efficency than anything,a p.o.s. crat would do fine,Might need more black powder,Thinking of a micro switch relayed by a easy give sort of pressure plate inside of the tube.Needing to master windows paint,,cut and paste,,,Clay

Clay, that's easy! Put your cursor on the first character of what you want to C&P, left click and hold it down as you drag across the text. It will be highlighted by the 'puter. The RIGHT click on the highlighted portion. A window will pop up, then you left click on "copy". The little flashing vertical bar where the text appears when you type? That's where it will go when you Right click the second time then left click on "PASTE". Like this:Well if they chew on old tennis shoes,,,, Give it a try, just like falling off a bicycle! Wish shooting cats was that simple!

Dan

Pres., TYGC
www.FreeTutorials.OnMe

Wish shooting cats was that simple!

Dan

Pres., TYGC
Hey!!! Thanks Dan! Clay

Well, I just proved to myself that my puter skills are still at the "dumb as dirt" level. I tried that several times and it wouldn't work. I guess at least I don't have to change my favorite line. " I am so computer illiterate that I can't even cut and paste".
Howsome ever, I can still put a 7.62 into a target the size of a cats head at 300 Meters! derf

derf,

"I guess at least I don't my puter skills are still at the "dumb still put a 7.62 into a target Howsome ever derf"

Keep trying derf, but keep in mind that others can have sport with what you say, context, order and all. That's what women do when their shorts are in a knot about something, least ways from my perspective.

BTW, I gave up on BO after two more attempts to retrieve the password. Still go there for the read and such. Maybe their "shields" are up.

Anybody heard any good cat splatter stories lately? Only thing I'm aware of is my "Quick Red" nailed another one yesterday in the street in front of my home. Laying out there without a throat by the mailbox. Would send a pic but the "Big Black Birds" got there first. Red must be a very focused and vengeful sort...

Read yesterday in the ST. Pete Times(Left of Ted Kennedy BTW) that a 74 yr. old lady near Branford fought off a 9'7" gator in the canal behind her house after it dragged her there from her garden. Good for her, bad for the lizard. G&F, a line and a hook, the neighborhood cats get a reprieve. Oh Well.

Dan

Pres., TYGC

www.BannedBy.Dave ?