I been a watchin' this little fur ball for just over a year, pissin' on everybody's porches, cars, and killin' birds and squill. It's owner thought it a dear cuddly little thing, but now is concerned that it has gone missing. Her angst grew when I casually responded that I'd seen a big gator in the creek the other day...

There is an advantage in living in a "stilt" home, and that is the obvious similarity to a good tree house stand. It is the High Ground so to speak. Well, bless my lucky stars! The little grey POS came hunting on the blind side of the house a few days back and took one from an ancient Winchester pump in .22 WRF between the ears from behind. Crack-Flop-Wiggle Wiggle. The buzzards were circling the field across the street yesterday, all is well.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.Merry.Christmas

Well, glory be, Dan! Having been on the "stilt" if you will, it is even more rewarding to hear that you got that mangy p.o.s.. Congratulations. I knew you looked mighty comfortable on that balcony of yours. I guess practice (and patience) makes perfect.

Danno, would that not been a perfect snack for Big Albert? You shoulda tossed it to him. Whatta waste.

Crat hunting should be easy pickings here. We have 10 fresh inches of snow on the ground. Gonna be a white and red Chrismas! Snow helps show up the nocturnal ones real good too.

Ann, I kinda dissembled for the benefit of the owner. The temps have dropped off a bit and Big Al and his bruddas are kinda scarce at the moment. Wouldn't want that crat floating in the back yard, nosiree! Anyway, buzzards gotta eat too. Did you know that every winter down in Dade county the buzzards migrate thataway, and take to roosting on the Courthouse in the middle of downtown? Hundreds of 'em! Kind of fitting in a symbolic way...

Speaking of "fitting", y'all ever hear the story "If the Foo shits"? I only think of it because from time to time, those wise practitioners of jurisprudence that come and go from the courthouse sometimes do so with free ornaments from the buzzards.

I do hope all you lawyers out there don't take offense to that. If so, take it up with your bruddas...er, the buzzards. HO HO HO!

There is symetry in the Universe...

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.Merry.Christmas

In most circumstances it is quite appropriate to jerk the cat's owner around a little, particularly if the owner has been a p.i.t.a., or the cat especially disgusting. Tell her the big rattler you saw in her yard a few days ago probably got it.

I know where the vermin migrate from around here,,And they come round looking for thier cow/steer,,,pet dog,,,,,,,They never seem to come calling looking for a missing crat Have fun!!Clay

Ned, your mind is so...fertile. How about this story line?

"No ma'am, it was the birds that led me to it. I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't you think Birds are nasty little things? You do? Well, I do too. Did you ever see the movie "The Birds", yeah me too, gave me the willies! OH, you too? Well, I've never been comfy with BIRDS since then. Birds. BIRDS. BIRDS! < !--color--> "

I'm gonna start flappin' my arms then, jumpin' up and down, screeching and squawkin', yellin' " BIRDS! BIRDS! BIRDS! < !--color--> Dead burnt CRATS < !--color-->, veins hangin' out my teeth, BIRDS!" < !--color-->

I'll just bet she doesn't come around askin' about Shadow anymore.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.YoureOur.Boy

Merry Christmas < !--color-->

And, you can get anything that you want, at Alice's Restaurant!

www.ExcludingAlice.com