Dan, is that your legs?



Regards,
Martin

No.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.ShortOf.Breath

Egads!

Maybe the cat is leaving him a present!!!

Life As A Hen

Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed. "What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? ...... and who are you?" he asked.

"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven."

"WHAT!!? Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die ..... I'm too young." said Tom. "If
I'm dead, I want you to send me back immediately."

"It's not that easy," said St. Peter, "you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on
your own."

Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad. "I want to return as a hen." Tom replied.

And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna' blow ........ then along came the rooster.

"Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm." he said. "How does It feel?"

"Well, it's OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up."

"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. Have you never laid an egg before??"

"No, how do I do that?" Tom asked. "Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."

Tom clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'Plop' and an egg was on the ground. "Wow" Tom said "that felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground.

The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: "Tom, for Christ's sake!!! Wake up, ..... you're shittin' all over the bed!"


Are there any questions?

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.SpeakingOf.Presents

POTKB!!!! I'd think twice about the discount vasectomy as pictured above,,,,Clay

quote:

Originally posted by Aspen Hill Adventures:
Egads!

Ann,
I hope your reaction does not mean that you recognize you own legs in the picture...?

Sorry, could not resist...

Regards,
Martin

No, but the cat looks familiar.

My cat used to like doing that. Anything to be with Dad. But then I got gut problems and she developed a nose! Now she runs past the john when I am in there! derf

quote:

Originally posted by Aspen Hill Adventures:
No, but the cat looks familiar.

Ah, as I do my best to try to be a gentleman, I leave the topic now...

Regards,
Martin

Three men aged 60,70 and 80 were discussing aging. The 60 year old said it's hell,I can't pee. The 70 said thats nothing,I can't have a BM. The 80 year old said that is not bad wait until you are 80. The 60 asked,you can't pee? The 80 said oh yes,every morning at 6:00. The 70 said you can't have a BM? The 80 said oh yes every morning at 6:30. The 60 and 70 said well that doesnt sound bad,what's the problem? The 80 said,I don't get up until 7:00.

quote:

Originally posted by DigitalDan:
Life As A Hen

Great story dam near fell out of my chair laughing