I hope you guys don't mind a few stories. I've been on the planet almost 60 years and have seen alot of goofy stuff.

While living on Oahu in Hawaii I had a neighbor across the street that keep his yard in top shape. He had one persistent problem with his nice yard and that was the neighborhood dogs and cats liked to use it as a toilet. Many times I was drawn to the commotion at his house as he tried to keep offending animals out of his yard. One prime offender was a dumb Saint Bernard. He left piles that were huge. Another offender was a calico that liked to make deposits in his flower beds in his back yard.

I thought I would help him and found a live trap at a garage sale and gave it to him. He managed to trap the cat one day and didn't know what he was going to do with it. We were talking about the possibilities in his garage when the Saint Bernard showed up and was about to leave his pile. The neighbor was a big guy from Guam. By big I mean 400 pounds. I went out and shooed the dog away but the dumb dog headed for the open garage. My neighbor tackled the dog but then didn't know what to do with the dog. I told him to hold on for a minute. I grabbed some heavy gloves and some duct tape and removed the cat from the cage.
The neighbor held the dog while I duct taped the cat's and dog's tails together. We coordinated our release and sent the pair on their way.

When the dog realized what was shredding his backside he tried to rub it off by dragging his behind on the lawn. This didn't work and the dog decided to lighten his load and took a big dump on the furious cat. This didn't work either so the dumb dog headed home at high speed, at least for a Saint Bernard. The dog never came back to soil my neighbors yard. I don't know what happened to the cat.

Back to Back they faced each other----!!! derf

A really smart dog would have wagged his tail smartly against a phone pole. I never thought St. Bernies were all that bright though, just shows the hazards of alcohol I guess.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.Destruction.Derby

Such is hindsight, Siamesed at the skulls would prove entertaining.