Was sittin' under an oak tree late today, watching the world go by after chippin' away at the honey-do list. An armadillo showed his sorry ass in the twilight and somehow I just knowed he was comin' my way.

Just so happened that I had a sheath knife on so when it was timely and he weren't lookin' I pulled my Old Timer, got my best ghetto death grip on it and waited for fate to arrive.

Only question in my mind was whether it would be a straight down slam on the right side, or a slashing jab over my left thigh...only 10' away then, 8..7...6..3..2' from my tennis shoe, I thought I'd let him get by my knee. Almost holdin' my breath(was only a 'dillo guys) in anticipation...apparently it wasn't...and didn't care much for the smell of my tennis shoe. He fled with a mighty leap and back summersalt flip...and a squeak sorta...if I hadn't been laughing so hard I woulda run the old red bellied bastard down and stuck him. As it was...well, there will come another day.

My question: I think we're not likely to flock to the "knife and spear hunting forum", or ask anybody to create an Armadillo Wrastlin' Forum... any of you guys ever nailed one with a Texas Toothpick before? It would seem more challenging than sticking a pig that has 3 dogs hangin' on to it anyway, and I'm sure they'd be really hard to gaff 'cause of that shell. BTW, I have tried to get the spear hunters to try a gaff on hogs but they're without courage apparently.

Well, it was slow here in Yankeetown today, 'nother front movin' in on Thursday. We'll see what we can shake out of the tree then.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.TheIdle.Mind

Dan heres a beter idea, and you will not have to clean your knife up afterwards. Just grap Mr. Halfshell by the tail and go throw him into the creek for Li'l Bob. Bob will thank you.

Hog Killer

I was crusing north of canaveral,,somewhere between there and titusville on semi-back roads,,they were paved,,but not any houses or businesses to speak of around,,wifie screamed for me to STOP!!!!So I lock up the brakes on the rental car to find out there was another fucking armadillo she had to take a pic. of,,,,She has a spot in her heart for those things,,and buzzards,,Had a similar experience in arizona,,anyway,,I was kinda peeved about stopping every time she saw one,,,so I took her camera and got out of the car,,,jumped in front of the thing and got a eye to eye pic. of the critter,,all the while she's hollering out the window "you're too close,,it might bite you!!" All the while I was thinking that would be a highlight of the trip,,or trying to kick the damn thing for a field goal,,was getting tired of stopping for every one that she saw,,,In arizona,,she could'nt understand why I could'nt stop on a dime to let the tumbleweed pass while we were crusing through the desert at 100mph I looked in the rear view,,nuthin but dust,I did manage to stop for the buzzards though,,they were sighted on a road that you could'nt comfortly go 40 mph. on,,Kill'em all! Clay

I've killed an armadillo with a big homemade bush-hook.

For those of you that don't know what one is, a bush-hook is a long pole, about 6' long, with a great big blade on the end of it - sort of like an old halberd or pole arm type weapon. It kind of looks like a giant can opener, and ours has a blade about 24" long coming off the end of the handle, and sharpened on both sides.


Well, there was this armadillo digging away in the yard one morning and it was so intent on it's digging it didn't see me. The only thing I had handy was that bush-hook, so I grabbed it, crept up on the armadillo, and with one big overhand swing - sliced him right down the middle lengthwise.

It just sort of fell into two (darned near symmetrical) pieces.

Here's a link to a bush hook -- there's is a little one. 3' handle with 12" blade -- ours is exactly double those dimensions, and sharpened on both edges.

http://www.gemplers.com/a/shop/product.asp?T1=161124&UI...12140003294685288104

Dan, Dan, Dan--

Shouldn't the story have started, "This is no B.S., there I was . . . ." You almost disappointed me on that one.

Never stuck one with a pointy object, but I couldn't resist shooting one from about 20 yards away in Florida with my Casull loaded with 320 grain CorBon ammo. Let us just say that the exit side was a bit damaged...... Hey what do want from me? I couldn't resist!

Never tackled a 'dillo with a shank, but I did get into a full blown death match with a mean ass possum when I was about 10. Only weapon I had was a Ted Williams belt knife. Scared me for life. To this day I will endanger family or oncoming tourists to flatten one of those greasy, beady eyed, evil bastards. Just sitting here thinking of that little treetop dance we had made my blood pressure spike.

And be careful shaking them bushes. Sometimes hornet nests fall out. But thats a whole 'nuther story.

Well it looks like there is more in common here than I would have expected. Once upon a time I grabbed a 'dillo by the tail...a truly ignoble adventure it was too. Upon reflection I'd venture it is a rare man that can do that successfully. They have damn near the traction of one of Don Garlit's rails and their slick little tail is tapered in the wrong direction. Don't know that they would look any stranger with the taper going the other way, but that is idle speculation. Big Al was grateful on several occasions for a 'dillo appetizer BTW, all courtesy of the Lubaloy Express. If I timed it right they's just roll right into the crick, no muss or fuss about it!

Well, I like the visual with the bushhook, a Krugeresque ending befittin' their sorry state of being. Don't have one of those though, always used a spade shovel when forced into hand to hand with them.

Dustoffer, I woulda but I wasn't inebriated yet. I've found over the years since our little foray over there that war stories just sound better while under the influence. Both mine and the listeners, especially the listeners. For instance, if I say "If you ain't Cav, you ain't shit." to troopers that be sober, they look at me funny. If they're drunk, the mere mention of the word, a gutteral growl of "Air Cav!"...they fall to their knees and grovel like the swine they are...asking for redemption and salvation. What is a man to do?

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.SabresN.BlackStetsons

Possum on the half shell...

Ever hear the rumor about how they will walk along the bottom of a creek to get accross? I decided to help one once...after picking it up (wearing a pair of leather work gloves, BTW, helps with the traction issue Dan mentioned) I tossed it in a creek. Damn thing floated up the next afternoon. It got quite ripe by the next day. No gators around, I guess.

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... I like the visual with the bushhook, a Krugeresque ending befittin' their sorry state of being. Don't have one of those though ...

Bush hooks are nice and all, up until you've got to clear 45 acres of heavy scrub and brush off a fenceline with one.

The "original" DR Field and Brush mower.

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Once upon a time I grabbed a 'dillo by the tail...a truly ignoble adventure it was too.

Those boys down in Boone County that put a 'possum inna cage with a crat and bet on the outcome just grab the pos by the back of the neck.
Since 'dillos aint got hair,maybe grab em by the ears. Like a rabbit outta my hat trick.

I just gotta get me one of them bush hooks to complete my Halloween ensemble.

It will probably see dual use when there are Jehovah Witnesses prowling around.

Dan-I understand completely and can relate to the "If you ain't Cav" stories. I spent many a night in the club exchanging insults with Cav, slick, gunship, chinook, and all manner of pilots (except for LOH drivers). Most satisfying time I had was when a AF F-4 jockey was giving me grief about not being able to fly at Mach 1 at 25,000 feet. I just gave him my best "You must think I give a s***" look and told him "No, but then when you get shot down, I can land in a bomb crater and haul your sorry butt back to the club." That terminated the conversation then and there. And have you noticed that those of our generation and adventures sometime burst into laughter during the Hollywood version of war movies? Generally is is due to something that is so far removed from reality that you just can't explain it satisfactorily to anyone who hasn't shared it.

And, as far as 'dillo stories go, couple of years ago we were sitting at the ranch and one came tip-toeing across the field. One of the hunters was a northerner and didn't know what it was so we had to catch it. It ran into a section of 8" pipe and we had him, except we couldn't pull him out. When we finally got him out, he ran under an old cattle trailer full of trash. So, there we were, the two of us reaching under grabbing and I finally got a good grip on the tail and pulled it out. The other guy was holding it on its back and appropriate pictures were made--and the 'dillo actually crapped on him! Then when we released it and sat back down to for a cold one, the rancher observed that we both must be nuts--as we had just caught two rattlesnakes in the camp in the previous hour and there we were, feeling around under that trailer trying to grab that critter. Now that was a sobering thought.

Some food for thought -- but armadillos are known to carry leprosy.

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Reply

My only armadillo exploit was shooting a humper dillo off a humpee dillo in a palmetto thicket with a .22 mag. The humpee dillo kind is faster than any cat I ever saw. The xo had one of those stuffed tijuana armadillos reclining on its back guzzling a long-neck corona held by its feet.

I have considered taking a toothpick with me to bed to poke the wife's cat with.

Now you boys just leave that one alone.

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(except for LOH drivers).

That's only because we were you best customers, right?

Hugh, I wouldn't touch that'n with a 10' pole...

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.WhyYaSleepin.WithHerCrat?

Dan-you did keep us hoppin for sure. One guy of the 2/17 Cav (Gino) had us launching 3 times in one day to drag him back to Quang Tri just so he could get another Hughes rotary wing clay pigeon and go back to the same grid square for the same results.

Name rings a faint bell...A Troop I'm guessin'...when was that? Those Assault boys were nutz!

Dan-would have been between Jul 70 and Feb 71. Don't remember the specific troop designation, but the LTC who commanded it eventually got his 2d or 3rd star (Molinelli?). That whole bunch got their knickers shot off during the ARVN invasion of Laos. Talk about a shooting gallery.

Small world ain't it. I was off in CONUS during Lam Son 719 so I missed that one, previous tour ending May '70, second one starting May '71. Mollinelli was the CO 2/17th Cav, and right in the middle of that little adventure. Lowly CW2's didn't exactly hang out with him, 'cept in the back room of the O'Club playin' poker. He retired as a Major General, passed on in '87 from cancer. Yeah, that little exercise into Laos was an ass kicker, the B Troop CO was killed during that fracus, tales as many as snowflakes in the Rockies. Not unlike the Spring '72 offensive...wished to hell I'd missed that one too...you wouldn't believe the things I saw up in our old AO...

Dan

I've read a book about the Easter Offensive written by a Marine LTC who was hijacked into the Senior Army Advisor position. Good chronicle about that whole thing, and a very good read. Also a most compelling story about what happens to units that have good (or bad) leadership.

I was sitting at Mother Rucker during the 72 offensive, and it was really strange watching them list the firebases that had been overrun-and being able to see in my mind the LZs and pads where I had picked up patients.

So, how many "night carrier landings" do you have?

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So, how many "night carrier landings" do you have?

None, I have more sense than that. I landed on the FAMF down in Vung Tau once if that's any consolation. Almost landed in a sampan once, but the LSO waved me off right before he jumped over the side.

Do you have any carrier ITO's to your credit?

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.I.FollowRoads

Dan-sounds like a loaded question to me. Unless you are talking about a legit, logged in the book flight event, I don't have any. However, I do have a few on/off the hospital ship USS Sanctuary. Never knew an object could move in 4 planes at once until I tried to land on that sucker at night in a semi-typhoon. Going up and down, pitching nose up & nose down, rolling side to side (oops, port to starboard), yawing back and forth, and moving forward. Wow, that is 5 directions at once. Sounds like something my IP told me after he said I needed to go see the flight surgeon as he was sure my feet weren't connected to my brain, as I could never keep that little bird in trim.

Guess as a WO you had better sense than us RLOs and the carrier landings--Ah, the Spud Club in Phu Bai comes to mind.

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Originally posted by dustoffer:
I've read a book about the Easter Offensive written by a Marine LTC who was hijacked into the Senior Army Advisor position. Good chronicle about that whole thing, and a very good read. Also a most compelling story about what happens to units that have good (or bad) leadership.

Dustoffer, would you mind telling us the title and author of this book. I have a pretty fair library and might like to add this one. derf

Well Dustofffer, credit given where due. I'd forgotten about the Sanctuary...deja vu time...er, in chinee speak that would be "deja wu" I've been told. Never got into the rituals at the Spud Club but did play a lot of Dead Bug at he MAG 13 club in Chu Lai. That was where I first learned to appreciate Jarheads. Strawfoot, Hayfoot..."Let's say hello to the general! Hello Asshole!"(the entire club, glasses raised in toast.) Agreeably Nutz in my eye.

Well, in the next life study up on the 6DOF equation before night typhoon landings. Or get really hammered...whichever is more convenient. The latter was a big favorite at An Loc.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.IfYoureUpsideDown.WhichWayIsLeft?