I'm on my way to work about 5am this morning and just as I enter town there are six fat cats sitting in the middle of the street. I have no idea what they were doing. Probably bragging about getting their humans out of bed to let them out. Anyway I'm a novice crat killer, I'll usually take a shot if one presents itself. Mainly to keep my barn cat from getting knocked up. So when these speed bumps presented themselves, I didn't get excited because none of them were a threat to sire my latest supply of turtle bait. I just maintained speed and course and as I approached, four of them fled. As I grew nearer to the remaining pair, one jumped out of the way while one stayed. The last sight I had of it, was him sitting on his ass squinting into my headlights. He was absolutely certain that I was going to stop or go around. Just goes to show you that arrogance and pour judgement can lead to a really messy splatter in the middle of the road.

One lesss to worry about. i usually speed up myself.

I applaud you Rich! Serves the arrogant SOB right!

Prolly thought he was supercrat! Silly little bugger! derf

You are a beginner, so I won't give you h*ll for getting 1 out of 6. But now that you've drawn blood, I expect better of you next time.

quote:

Originally posted by panzerguy:
You are a beginner, so I won't give you h*ll for getting 1 out of 6. But now that you've drawn blood, I expect better of you next time.

Well I don't normally "draw blood" outside the line fence. If they had been scurrying across the east 40, the flat top Ar-15 would have gotten at least 4. Sorry to let you down.

Howdy! Personally, I admire the use of a flat-top AR15 on "the other white meat". Just remember, there are folks here who would total cars to get a "kill"

Story I heard about John Glenn from years ago. Mr. Glenn may have been idealized in "The Right Stuff", but in reality, he was one mean, murdering s.o.b.. Once wrecked a brand new car just to kill a coyote. So let that be a lesson to you.

quote:

Once wrecked a brand new car just to kill a coyote.

Is that bad?

Dan

POTYHC

www.ThatsWhyI.BuyTrucks

I once scuffed a tire on a brand new pick-up truck just to kill a cat. That was highly satisfactory.

Buy wider tires. Enlarge your kill zone.

dustoffer
That is the best idea I've heard in a long while.

muck

possibly the only good reason to lower the stance on a vehicle. Urban krat killer. Naw, I still think lowered vehicles are for chicks and fags.

quote:

Enlarge your kill zone.

Another way to enlarge your footprint is the reknowned 4-wheel drift. Kids, don't do that in YOUR neighborhood without adult supervision.

Dan

POTYHC

www.Downshift.TurnLeftFullThrottle

Dang it Dan! There you go again, slipping in that 4-wheel drift thing. Its going to be a vu ja day again, like the last time you did it. You know I'm a wheels-locked-sliding-into-the-cat man, except when the "burning rubber" cat flattening technique is better. I think I like the skid & squash style better though. N.S.

Dammit Ned, I had to read that twice, I thought you said "Crat Flatulence"....nearly crapped my pants at the thought! Man, I smelt one of those once, worser than Pyrodex! Made my eyes water...

Well, the skid-n-spread technique is pretty good, but when I was younger and gave a s... I was more into "control". Old habits die hard...or is it old hards die habitually? Anyway, one of these days when it's been rainin' and there's an empty parkin' lot nearby...like the supermarket at 1 AM, try the 4-WD thing. It's really quite a challenge in a P'up due to weight distribution. See, if you muck it up you're gonna have crat guts all over the roof, 'cause you're sure gonna get-r-upside down, and you'll have to tell the cops you were tryin' to MISS the crat with a straight face. Then you gotta go sue the owners, hire shysters, say "I do, so help me God..."...all that stuff ya know?

Before you do that, try some of this: It'll help keep you calm. Take mints just in case though...for John Q. in case you meet up and he says "Wutinellyadointharbubba?"

Dan

POTYHC

www.OnA.MoonlightNightYaGotYourDeadToadFrog

Which will throw a crat farther: the rear tire on a 'Vette turning 5500 rpm in first gear burning rubber or a Shelby Cobra? Sounds like a good science fair project for some enterprising high school student.

You local baseball team should have a ball thrower. Ours consists of two motorized wheels turning at high velocity in opposition of each other. My vote goes to that rig-up.

Gawd, Panzerguy that is positively brilliant! Will it throw a curve pussy, or a slider???

Dan

POTYHC

www.WhatKindOfBat.YouGot?

I imagine it depends upon a) if you dial different speeds into the two wheels, or b) what angle the feed hopper is set at.

It all depends on how you like pussy, when it is thrown at you. Most guys are just grateful as hell to have it straight up, while others develop preferences.

A little on the side is good.