I had just bought a new set of binoculars at the Portland gun show. I stepped out on the back porch to try them and saw the neighbors cat roaming in their back yard. I followed the cat with the binocs until it jumped up on their barbque. It liked the smell of the stuff that had been grilled the day before and was licking the grill bars when it bumped the barbeque's lid and it closed trapping the cat. I thought that was funny and let the binoculars drop to my chest. At that time the neighbor came out and carried the fixings over to the table next to his barbeque. I waited for him to be surprised when he opened the barbque but he instead opened the gas value and hit the instant ignition. He didn't react quick enough when the cat squalled and the few seconds delay ensured the cat was fully lit up when he opened the lid. I'm glad he had his barbque apron on or he would have been scratched to death. For the rest of the summer he always grimaced when I asked him what was for dinner.

A number of years ago, when we still had the kids at home, one of the girls REALLY wanted a cat... OK, ok, get the cat, have it fixed for Pete's sake. We don't want a litter of the damn things. She got her little pus and it lived with us all spring and summer.

We lived in an old old frame house, without a/c or heat. I had rocked in a corner and installed a big wood stove. That summer the cat just loved to while away it's time on big metal stove as it was the coolest spot in the house.

Along about October a blue norther came whistling through. When I got in that evening I built the first fire of the year in the stove. It burned down and I added more oak. Had that old stove glowing. We were watching TV, soaking up the heat when the pussy came slinking in. I suppose out of habit, it gathered itself and jumped up on the stove. You could hear the flesh singe on it's pads and the look of terror in it's eyes was truly inspiring.
The cat didn't spend much time loitering around on the stove after that..

OEH, DD is gonna shit when he reads this! I won't steal his thunder though! derf

Aye, the mug is still rumbling...

OEH, this just illustrates the benefits of gas cooking. Electricity is way too slow.

Once during a time of certain insanity in my life(5'6, blond, etc), there were crats in my life. One night while spending the weekend at the "camp", young Tommy found a mouse in the cubbard and the chase was on! Little mouse ran and ran, giving the crat a good run for his money, then jumped up into a sleeping gas space heater and hid. Apparently right on the gas bar, in one corner between ceramic and metal grate. Ol' Dan lit the far end of the gas bar, watched the flames race to the other end, and behold! out came Mighty Mouse, a streaking meteor of fire, arcing to the floor. The floor just covered with brand new Berber carpet. Ol' Dan thought "Oh shit!" but remained silent, hoping against all hope the little rat would burn up during reentry....the audience was silent and in awe. That would be the 3 crats sitting in a row, watching spellbound as the spectacle unfolded.

God was kind that night, the flammer went out, landed and I realized I had just created the first hairless woods mouse. The heartless crats did not let me have the chance to see if he spoke Messican.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.GasIsBestFor.Cookin

I would buy more binoculars to see such sights as you gents describe. Those old wood heaters sometimes do a fine job of sanitizing litter box tracks too.

OEH, now that story was funny ... man what a trip.

I used to have an Australian Shepherd that got up onto the grill one time when I was cooking steaks. It was an old open-faced charcoal grill, and the thing put his front paws up on the grill to see what was cooking.

He held them there about 5 or 6 seconds, grabbed a steak, then jumped down - feet smoking and hobbling off. I figured if he wanted one that bad he could have it. He never jumped back up there for another one when I was grilling though.