Here are a couple other tips for young men contemplating matrimony or even just getting engaged, going steady, whatever.
Shoot something and take it over to her house/back yard to pluck, gut, or skin, as appropriate. If she gets a real sour look on her face, or says "don't bring any dead animals over here again" ease on out of that dead end relationship. I was all excited one morning because I had hammered some geese and took one to my then girlfriend's house to pluck and roast for dinner. She wouldn't let me cook it for her.
If the girl you can't stand the thought of being without says "You hunt/fish too much" leave right then and there. Another girlfriend used those exact words even after I had cut my outdoors activities in half because she had flown up to West Yellowstone, MT to see me while I was working as a fill in doctor for someone on an extended vacation.

The next thing to consider is John Charlie Noak's Two Ring Theory :

Sometimes you find out what you need to know early on (see above).

Sometimes it takes one ring. I became engaged many years ago to a (quite wealthy, it later transpired) young lady. Until then she thought my hunting and fishing activities were great, and even bragged to her friends about my modest prowess in the game fields. The minute I slipped an engagement ring on her finger things changed. No, I couldn't go hunting the week before christmas, we were going on a shopping trip. In my naivete I was thinking "What the f**k is a shopping trip?" I soon found out. I slithered out of that deal as soon as I could. I'm sure she is lording it over some poor schlub as I write this.

Sometimes it takes two rings. I eventually met another woman who grew up on a farm, knew what hunting was all about, and enjoyed forays afield with me. I was careful not to take her on any death marches, and always made sure she had the seat in the blind next to the heater. We had a 20 gauge Benelli shotgun fitted to her, and she drilled her fair share of clay pigeons, quail, pheasant, chukar, and geese. (She is a very good shot.) This continued on through the engagement and eventual nuptials. Then the wheels started to come off the train; "You hunt too much", etc. There were no children, thank God, so we split the sheets a couple years later.

What I have learned through all of this is that each of us, male and female, have certain core pursuits that we can modify for the sake of the union, but we can't give up. That just won't work. Also, there are no guarantees when it comes to love and marriage. Sometimes it does take two rings to find out what the real story is, but if you pay attention the clues are usually there to see from the beginning.

This shaggy dog story is in a happy chapter now. My present girlfriend was riding, roping, and shooting guns for thirty five years before we met. We have a reloading bench in the kitchen. I've been sick all weekend, so she took the horses and some friends up to scout for elk. When she gets back later today the house will be picked up and the dishes will be cleaned and put away. How cool is that?
JCN

Quite well put forth, Mr. Noak. I have found your treatise to be applicable over the years. The problem is, most "young" guys know much better than we old guys and absolutely won't buy our story/recommendations. Their case will ALWAYS turn out better! Yea, right!!! It seems to be something that almost every young buck has to learn for themselves the hard way; our experience is simply ignored. WE are the dummies, not them. It is a matter of blood--i.e., there is a finite quantity of it. When too much goes to the little head, the big head doesn't function properly because of the deficit.

I have also done the 2 ring thing and for the most part it was over my time afield. Both were true learning experiences and now the 3rd, she is from a hunting family and she goes shooting with me (again last night), her only issue was the heads on the wall and we have since resolved that one. She asks me to go hog hunting as she loves the freezer full of that fine pork.

If those younger do not want to listen to those of us that have been there done that it is up to them, I have a daughter in college that does not understand either.

That can't live without you stuff dies down guys and gals and you darn sure better make sure they are up to dealing with all that you are made of from the beginning. I have been hunting since I was a young boy and it is my passion and if she can't handle it the situation is doomed. I do my share of compromising as is the fair thing to do, but when it comes down to it no one will stop me from going to the woods. My wife does not even try to stop me, a big part of the time I am with her brother. Unlike some of my friends I do not spend my time in the bars after work or any of that, when I am not traveling I am home with the family or in the woods. All things considered I am a pretty safe and predictible husband, is that a good thing?



Doug