I found these kid's quotes

A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't
worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."

A. Sunday school class was studying the Ten
Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one.
The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it
was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
"Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."

A few more. Dale

BEGGER THAT I AM, I AM EVEN POOR IN THANKS. W.SHAKESPEARE

BARRING THE NATURAL EXPRESSION OF VILLANY, THE MAN LOOKED HONEST ENOUGH.
MARK TWAIN

THE ABUSE OF A THING IS NO ARGUMENT AGAINST THE USE OF IT. JEREMY COLLIER

THERE'S SMALL CHOICE IN ROTTEN APPLES. W. SHAKESPEARE

BAIT. A PREPARATION THAT RENDERS THE HOOK MORE PALATABLE. THE BEST KIND IS BEAUTY. AMBROSE BIERCE

LET US NOT BE TOO PARTICULAR. IT IS BETTER TO HAVE OLD SECOND HAND DIAMONDS THAN NONE AT ALL. MARK TWAIN

IF YOU PICK UP A STARVING DOG AND MAKE HIM PROSPEROUS, HE WILL NOT BITE YOU. THIS IS THE PRINCIPLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAN AND A DOG. MARK TWAIN


IF WE TAKE HABITUAL DRUNKARDS AS A CLASS, THEIR HEADS AND THEIR HEARTS WILL BEAR AN ADVANTAGEOUS COMPARISON WITH THOSE OF ANY OTHER CLASS. ABRAHAM LINCOLN

Dale,pm me with your email and i'll zip the doc up..

The Southern communities are just as peaceful and religious as the Northern. The Southerner may be more highly cultured, and anything he does is naturally conspicuous. Carrying a revolver is a fad, just a fad or a fashion; but the revolvers are mightly harmless. Of course there are desperadoes on the frontier, but that is the only part of the world they live in. Their deeds give a false character to their district. I have carried a revolver; lots of us do, but they are the most innocent things in the world.
~ ~ MARK TWAIN " Put to the Question" interview, Adelaide South Australian Register, 10/14/1895

MISERICORDE, n. A dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhorsed knight that he was mortal.
AMBROSE BIERCE THE DEVILS DICTIONARY 1906

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
~ ~ W.C. FIELDS


Luke in OZ

Fail is not died, it is only to commence again

Baron of Montesquieu. French. 1689/1755

Please, consider "Fail" meaning here is the worst failure, for example, a complete failure of a project or invention, a bankruptcy .
There is an specific verb in French and Spanish Language for this; "Fracasar". I do not know an English equivalent.

Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Samuel Butler

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.
Josh Billings

Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.
John W. Gardner

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
Mark Twain

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Mark Twain

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Douglas Adams

I don't have the exact words...so this is my memory of a Sgt Major interviewed on Fox news on Veterans Day...

" To all those troops serving in Irag today....If you can't be home with family and those you love...the next best place to be is in Iraq...dealing with those who would harm your love's and freedoms."

This is from memory....maybe someone has the exact words...

"Watch kids! Mommy's going to make the bad man's head explode!" Said by G Gordon Liddy's wife as she cocked her .357 pistol and carefully aimed it at a knife armed intruder in her home with her small kids gathered around. The intruder dropped his knife and fled.

No matter HOW good lookin she is..........
Somebody, somewhere is tired of her sh*t!
..............mensroom wall in a Texas bar!

This quote thread is great! The last two really hit me in one way or another. However, here's a good one that has some salient facts.....

Q: What is the shortest chapter in the Bible?
A: Psalms 117

Q: What is the longest chapter in the Bible?
A: Psalms 119

Q: Which chapter is in the center of the Bible?
A: Psalms 118

There are 594 chapters before Psalms 118.
There are 594 chapters after Psalms 118.
Adding 594 and 594 gets 1188.

Q: What is the center verse in the Bible?
A: Psalms 118:8

"It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man."