I was wondering how many members participate in things like, scuba diving, parachinting, golf etc?

Bugger that for a game of soldiers! - Anyone who puts his head under water and tries to breath or jumps out of a perfectly good aircraft needs a psychiatrist!

As for golf, I live on a golf course but can't see the point of spending hours walking after a golfball..... I understand walking after a Buffalo, but a damn ball is just a waste of time......

Shakari,

Amen to that ...

Reminds me why some aircraft got propellers

Scuba diving is quite fun, I can swim myself out of the (Bull)S*** from 30 meters down, but I cannot grow wings when the chute does not want to open.

A 4x4 challenge with Lochi is also lots of fun.

Golf joke ...

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped around his neck.

Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well," the man says, "It's like this; I was playing a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows.

We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white on its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt.

That's when I made my big mistake."

"What did you do?" the doctor asks.

"Well." the man replies, "I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife, Hey, honey, this looks like yours!"

"I don't remember much after that!"

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local
golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them.

"Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the
newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the
newcomer,

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man," was the reply.

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a
beautiful Browning sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.

"Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take
a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of
his house.

"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see
right in the window." "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I
can see she's naked! "Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with
her.......He's naked as well! The dirty cheating bastards....!"

He turned to the hitman,
"How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the
trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the
mouth. Then the neighbour, just sho ot his dick off to teach him a lesson."
The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few
minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently

"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can
save you a grand here....."

OH, the propeller story, they keep the pilot cool.

Have you ever seen a pilot persperating when they stop.

I've seen a few perspire bucket loads after they've experienced one of my landings.....

Jaco,
Scuba diving is done where the sharks live. I have a very good arrangement with great whites and raggies. I do not hassle them in their environment and, in return, they stay off the shooting range and out of the hunting areas.

As for jumping out of an airplane with some rope and a piece of cloth............

Scubadiving can be done on a scale between just swimming around in the shallows to serious, extreme exploration where you only get to do one mistake or bad preparation.
Skydiving is more, either you jump or you don´t. Increasing the level of thrill is done by "who did you let mess with your gear"?
I think its the same way of trying to really "live life" as in hunting dangerous game.
We get to choose our poison but were all the same really.

Don't golf any more and I would if I could carry a 17cal. with a scope for groundhogs...But alas do not allow it...

Mike

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was
not in their bed.She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for
him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of
coffee. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up from
his coffee. "Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating, and
you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. "Yes, I do," she replies. The
husband paused. The words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car
?" "Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside
him. The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun
in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you
to jail for twenty years?" "I
remember that, too" she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have been out
of jail today and a free man!"

Jaco,

Shark stays out of my bar and I stay out of the sharks water !!!!!

No way you gona get me to scuba

I tell my golfing frinds I 'll take up golf when I am to old to hunt!

Jaco,

Whitewater rafting. The photo below doesn't show it but it's right below a class 3-4.

-Steve

Motorcycles.

Hey, me too...... but maybe we should discuss bikes elsewhere!

quote:

Originally posted by Steve:
Jaco,

Whitewater rafting. The photo below doesn't show it but it's right below a class 3-4.

-Steve

Have you done it on the Zambezi, it is awesome. August is very good, water levels are low and the rapids great

quote:

Originally posted by Gerard:
Jaco,
Scuba diving is done where the sharks live. I have a very good arrangement with great whites and raggies. I do not hassle them in their environment and, in return, they stay off the shooting range and out of the hunting areas.

I made a 20 minute video of the raggies at Sodwana bay. The one passed so close I could touch it. It will always be one of my favourite dives. The second one was when I took my daughter on her first raggie dive.

I've thought it might be wise to get into golf for business networking reasons but can never work out why one would want to go for a walk on the green fields which have lots of rabbits without a .22 rifle.

I used to skydive in University. Was the secretary of the University Skydiving club. The first 21 times I had ever been up in a plane I had only landed in one once. Landings are the dangerous part. I always preferred to get out first.

As for scuba diving, scuba divers may go down deeper, but sky divers go down faster.

quote:

Originally posted by Jaco Human:

Have you done it on the Zambezi, it is awesome. August is very good, water levels are low and the rapids great

Jaco,

Both times I've been to Vic Falls the river was running so high that they weren't running the river. But I'll do it (and the Grand Canyon) before I die!

-Steve

If you like big volume rivers, add the White Nile in Uganda to the list. Like the Zambezi its not very technical, but big, pushy, pounding and warm. If you kayak, the play is some the best in the world (especially the '2nd day' stretch) for big waves, like the Zam. Oh yes, like the Zam the people are great, the humor good and beer cheap and cold and some of the rapids will have you reaching for your brown corduroys on your first attempt....

Just awesome!

Steve, do ever boat in Idaho? I am hoping to get there this summer and am keen on the Lochsa, various forks of the Payette etc. I applied for a Salmon permit but lost.

quote:

Originally posted by Jaco Human:
Have you done it on the Zambezi, it is awesome. August is very good, water levels are low and the rapids great

............and when you get tossed out of the raft, then you can go dangerous croc hunting with a knife!

quote:

............and when you get tossed out of the raft, then you can go dangerous croc hunting with a knife!

Crocs aren't too bad in the Batoka gorges, people swim there all the time; however there is one longish flat stretch in the second half of the day trip in which it is inadvisable to swim

I also parachute and scuba, a holdover from my military service. You know the old saying "Sky, sea or muff, no dive too tough " ...........JJ

quote:

Originally posted by kayaker:

quote:

............and when you get tossed out of the raft, then you can go dangerous croc hunting with a knife!

Crocs aren't too bad in the Batoka gorges, people swim there all the time; however there is one longish flat stretch in the second half of the day trip in which it is inadvisable to swim

Kayaker

I think we did swim in that section. I remember it was a nice section, long and wide with good deep slower moving water. "Where fools tread (swim)" perhaps ?

I have white water rafted the Zambezi two times. The first in 1988 when Sobek was about the only company doing it and from the Zambian side. They used to start the rafts off by dropping them above the first rapids, then row the rafts around the corner of the Falls so you got a quick glimpse of the falls from below, before the current took you and whisked you down the first rapids. We got stuck in an eddy on the first rapids between the rapids and the cliff and had to get out to push it along into the rapids and jump back in as rowing didn't get anywhere.

A very pretty young American girl, a ski instructor in the Northern winter was the guide, and man could she row. The first trip the guide did all the rowing. The second time we elected to do the whole group paddling thing.

The second time I did it again with Sobek in 1994 and we got through all the rapids OK until the last where we voted to go straight down the middle where of course boats always got flipped. Actually the boat did a "tail stand" for what seem a long time and disgorged people one by one until it flipped completely over. I have a nice photo of me with my arms outstretched falling backwards into the water from the top of the boat. I did find the paddle still in hand when I surfaced however.

Bought the "obligatory" video of the day from the guy that kayaks along with a video camera too, so got to see what it looks like from outside the boats.

One fellow in our boat only did a half-day and got dropped off at the half way point. I think he was happy to get off. At different rapids we sometimes lost a person or two out of the boat. He fell off at one rapid. And was washed down the stream and was sucked down. We looked for him and then after maybe 30 seconds to a minute he popped up again maybe a hundred metres further down. That didn't look like fun at all!

Well worth doing for fun if anyone gets a chance.


Kayaker

Some Aussies did the Uganda/Nile rapids and made a film about it maybe five years ago. They ran into a different kind of trouble and were attacked by Shufta. Their Landcruiser between two stretches of river was held up and fired on by shufta with AKs and they all jumped out and bolted into the bush. Unfortunately one guy copped a load of bullets in the back as he ran. All the others escaped unhurt.

Hi John,

I bet your photo comes from #18 'Oblivion'. At lower water its beast that will thrash the living daylights out of you! (raft or kayak). Seen many pro-boaters toss their paddles when getting beaten in there to save their shoulders! The days you run the guts of it, you take your balls out of your purse first!

There were some Aussies who scouted the White Nile from Jinja in 1996, perhaps them? Although that region is really safe and friendly, lots of tourists and paddlers now, but will unfortunately be dammed (damned??) in the next few years...perhaps it was lower down stream where they came into shit? A team of SA/Aus/NZ people did a full Lake Victoria - med descent a couple years back, epic adventure. Same time as Pascual Scaturo did his full descent starting on the Blue Nile (lake Tana). Of course Pascual had the right sponsorship and landed in IMAX theaters!

The Blue Nile gorges in Ethiopia are also a classic run with some serious whitewater and also a reputation for Shifta's!

In fact one of the first descents there by poor UK 'dirtbag paddlers' (Mick Hopkinson et al, early 70's if memory serves me correctly) was quite a tale. They bought Webley's prior to the trip from Army surplus and took them along (guns on the airline!). He wrote that they eventually kayaked the flats with the revolvers on the spraydecks, when they saw crocs they shot first and then paddled like hell!

Richard Bangs (co-founder of Sobek, guy behind Expedia) got his start in expeditions in Ethiopia and ran trips there pre-Mengistu, and loved it (until his mate drowned). He also has some good monster-croc tales from the Blue Nile and Omo. Ethiopia has some great rivers - which I hope to see at some point!

Yep the Zambezi is king!! There is a reason many pro-boaters spend time there and the worlds best kayaker (Steve Fisher of RSA, I guess along with EJ from Rock Island) calls it home when not touring the world. Nile is also great fun, BIG!!!

quote:

And was washed down the stream and was sucked down. We looked for him and then after maybe 30 seconds to a minute he popped up again maybe a hundred metres further down.

Oh yes...big volume equals big down time!!! Big seams, eddylines and boils abound! I have had a nasty session stuck under a raft in my kayak, bouncing in the big boils at rapid 11 ('Overland Truck Eater') - no fun!

quote:

Originally posted by kayaker:

Steve, do ever boat in Idaho? I am hoping to get there this summer and am keen on the Lochsa, various forks of the Payette etc. I applied for a Salmon permit but lost.

I might do the Lochsa Memorial day weekend. I've done it a couple of times. Both times it was pretty high. The first time we put in at White Pine. Man what a ride! By the time we got through it all, the Falls didn't seem impressive at all.

I'm out of shape and I'll need to do a crash course to get ready for it, if we do. We usually camp at te head of the Clearwater. So if you're in the neighborhood drop by and I'll buy you a beer.

Never done the Payette, but looked at it several times. I was bear hunting along the middle fork of the Boise. It was close to flood stage and looked like a hell of a ride. You ever float it?

-Steve

No, never been there...

I am not sure when Memorial Day weekend is...I will only be there end June.

I heard the Lochsa is great and the Payette pretty full on (North fork?). Friends of mine in Canada like the Clearwater too...and mnany other ID rivers/creeks.

You run that cat in the photo...man, they are sooooooo much better that rafts!

Memorial Day is the 28th of May. I haven't run the Lochsa in late June. I would think that the flow would be down and, although more techical, it should be a bit more forgiving.

Last time we went my buddy flipped his cat and couldn't get it flipped back over. Ended up riding on top of the upside down raft for about a mile and a half, including a class V. Beat the hell out of his frame. Scared him and he won't float it anymore.

If you get a chance you should try a cat. A little less floatation that a comparable raft, but much more manuverable. The frame in the phot below is for overnighting. I've since gotten an additional frame for day trips.

If your around in the middle of July, let me know. We do a 3-day trip down the Deschutes. It's a big group. More like a three day floating cocktail party. I'm sure you'd enjoy it.

-Steve

Some photos of our river rafting trip

Looks like fun! Did anyone take an unexpected swim?

Yes my wife did, she was back in the boat with about 4 strokes, most probably scared of the crocs

Hi Steve,

I have rowed a cat before, they really are much much faster and more responsive than a comparable raft and difficult to flip BUT, as you alluded too, to re-flip them is also a bitch (well, the bigger ones). I can re-flip an 18' raft by myself, even with a frame, although it takes some 'elbow grease' (although its faster when adrenalized and clients are looking at you like they've seen the long dark tunnel!!!); re-flip an 18' cat - I tried to see if I could and gave myself webbing-burn in the process, she wasn't moving, stable on both sides!

Jaco, man I saw you pix, went to my office, grabbed a handy DVD and watched 15 mins of Zam kayak footage (should actually be reviewing a journal paper for submission....). Zam is lekker verby!

Cheers, Steve, thanks for the offer, guess we better keep this hunting related!!!! Nahhhh...