Hello everyone.

It is me, Walter. Saeed is typing this, on his computer, because he will not let me even TOUCH his computer.

And I do not know how to put videos on the server. Saeed will not give me the password.

I am dictating this to him, and he is writing it.

I had this specialy video made, of Saeed, Roy and Alan, together with Nelson, hunting buffalo.

They did everything wrong.

You will see what I mean when you look at the video.

Fisrt shot, Saeed said he shot the buffalo in the chest. He could not even SEE the chest, but he shot it in the chest! He has bullets that go around trees.

Then, he keeps holding his empty cases in his hands, at the same time shooting more buffalo. And what is even worse, those more buffalo are hidden in the grass. No one can see them, but Saeed does!

He is not even using the shooting sticks. He does not need shooting sticks when he shoots invisible buffalo.

Notice also Roy, who is busy carrying the shooting stick, instead of getting ready to shoot any buffalo that will attack immediately.

And that blood thirsty Alan, keeps shouting SHOOT ANOTHER ONE!

And see how close those buffalo are lying dead - 3 meters - but one cannot even see them.

And worse of all see how Saeed is covered in sweat.

They are all mad. And they have made my friend Nelson mad too.

Yesterday I spoke to him - he is in the plane right now coming here.

He said he said he was looking forward to coming with us on safari better than he he looked forward to getting married!

I will tell his wife about this.



Educational Video Of How NOT To Hunt Buffalo

Any chance of loading the video up to You Tube ?


Oh, and in relation to the story, sounds
like a few instances I have been in but with
Australian Water Buffalo mobs in neck high grass.

.

Talking about long grass!

quote:

Originally posted by 500N:
Any chance of loading the video up to You Tube ?


Oh, and in relation to the story, sounds
like a few instances I have been in but with
Australian Water Buffalo mobs in neck high grass.

.

I am afraid not.

You have to download it from here.

Just right cli8ck on the link, and save to your computer.

You do need broadband, as it is in HD and quite big.

quote:

I am afraid not.

You have to download it from here.

Whew...

easy to tell that saeed is a reloader - not a piece of brass hit the ground

Wow, some serious shooting and a hat trick on buffalo.

The title should be How to shoot buffalo - not How not to shoot buffalo

Great video, Saeed, maybe you can post a video of Walter doing it the right way. Should be a good watch.

Fantastic!!

Saeed, was that the second time you had taken 3 buffalo at the same time?

Walter, excellent job on the video directing!

Not a thing wrong there! beef on the ground!

Congratulations on an excellent hunt and video. That right there is my dream hunt. Great job Saeed.

MAD! You are ALL MAD!

May be you change your minds when you know they followed these buffalo for HOURS and HOURS.

They were so far away from the truck they had to call the camp by sat phone to get another truck to collect the buffalo.

They were so far away, the season changed in Tanzania. Winter came while they were walking back. They got so soaked they looked like drowmned RATS!

They brought back the buffalo tails.

The walk back took so long the buffalo tails did not have to be hung any more.

They were ready to cook IMMEDIATELY.

That was the only good thing about that hunt.

Buffalo tail is my favorite meal. And best of all Saeed HATES it!

Now I will tell you HOW TO HUNT BUFFALO.

We find the tracks.
I send Alan to find the buffalo.
He comes back and drives me there.
We don't get too close. Because we don't want to scare the buffalo.
But we don't want to be too far either. Walking is not something I enjoy. Especially if Roy and Saeed are walking too. They always think they are running in a marathon.

When we are 200 meters from the sleeping buffalo. Me and Alan do our hunt.

This is a proper buffalo hunt. We crawl on our hands and knees.
We slither on our stomachs.
If we did not have Saeed along, we would get to almost touch the buffalo with the end of the barrel.

That is how good Alan and me are.

Saeed and Roy ruin everything, as usual.

Saeed is always laughing.

LAUGHING while hunting buffalo! Can you believe that! Hunting buffalo is very serious business for me. I can only do it so often. It is so stresseful, it gets my heart pumping so hard I have to take a dozen nitro tablets.

Then Alan wakes the buffalo.
Then I shoot the buffalo. The buffalo runs off. I give the rifle to Saeed and ask him to chase it.

I know he loves chasing buffalo.

Sometimes the buffalo do not co-operate. He runs only a few yards and stops. Always behind a bush.

Then I take the rifle from Saeed, walk to the buffalo, which is normally already dead.

Remember, I wasn't called ONE SHOT WALTER for nothing.

Of course, that other comedian has to get into the act too.

Roy shouting "SHOOTING HIM AGAIN!"

The buffalo is already DEAD. But Roy is screaming SHOOTING HIM AGAIN!

I shoot the dead buffalo again.

Not to kill it again, but to get Roy to stop screaming.

We al celebrate, with a cold drink, as the truck is there by now.

THIS IS HOW TO SHOOT BUFFALO!

When I grow up . . .

Walter,

The man gives you ready to cook buffalo tails and you COMPLAIN??!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Walterhog:
MAD! You are ALL MAD!

May be you change your minds when you know they followed these buffalo for HOURS and HOURS.

They were so far away from the truck they had to call the camp by sat phone to get another truck to collect the buffalo.

They were so far away, the season changed in Tanzania. Winter came while they were walking back. They got so soaked they looked like drowmned RATS!

They brought back the buffalo tails.

The walk back took so long the buffalo tails did not have to be hung any more.

They were ready to cook IMMEDIATELY.

That was the only good thing about that hunt.

Buffalo tail is my favorite meal. And best of all Saeed HATES it!

Now I will tell you HOW TO HUNT BUFFALO.

We find the tracks.
I send Alan to find the buffalo.
He comes back and drives me there.
We don't get too close. Because we don't want to scare the buffalo.
But we don't want to be too far either. Walking is not something I enjoy. Especially if Roy and Saeed are walking too. They always think they are running in a marathon.

When we are 200 meters from the sleeping buffalo. Me and Alan do our hunt.

This is a proper buffalo hunt. We crawl on our hands and knees.
We slither on our stomachs.
If we did not have Saeed along, we would get to almost touch the buffalo with the end of the barrel.

That is how good Alan and me are.

Saeed and Roy ruin everything, as usual.

Saeed is always laughing.

LAUGHING while hunting buffalo! Can you believe that! Hunting buffalo is very serious business for me. I can only do it so often. It is so stresseful, it gets my heart pumping so hard I have to take a dozen nitro tablets.

Then Alan wakes the buffalo.
Then I shoot the buffalo. The buffalo runs off. I give the rifle to Saeed and ask him to chase it.

I know he loves chasing buffalo.

Sometimes the buffalo do not co-operate. He runs only a few yards and stops. Always behind a bush.

Then I take the rifle from Saeed, walk to the buffalo, which is normally already dead.

Remember, I wasn't called ONE SHOT WALTER for nothing.

Of course, that other comedian has to get into the act too.

Roy shouting "SHOOTING HIM AGAIN!"

The buffalo is already DEAD. But Roy is screaming SHOOTING HIM AGAIN!

I shoot the dead buffalo again.

Not to kill it again, but to get Roy to stop screaming.

We al celebrate, with a cold drink, as the truck is there by now.

THIS IS HOW TO SHOOT BUFFALO!

One-Shot-Walter:

I am LMAO! That is how you do it! And one can't argue with success either!

Wishing you & Alan (and Paul if he will be there) the best of luck getting you another buffalo! (especially Alan and Paul. ).

Best regards,
Chris

Walter: Please get another SUPER SIZED MONSTER buffalo this year like the one in your picture at the top of this thread. We need a CHANGE! P.S. How many men does it take to carry that HUGE rifle shown in the picture?

Wow, another great adventure!

Keep em coming Walter

quote:

Originally posted by Walterhog:
MAD! You are ALL MAD!

May be you change your minds when you know they followed these buffalo for HOURS and HOURS.

They were so far away from the truck they had to call the camp by sat phone to get another truck to collect the buffalo.

They were so far away, the season changed in Tanzania. Winter came while they were walking back. They got so soaked they looked like drowmned RATS!

They brought back the buffalo tails.

The walk back took so long the buffalo tails did not have to be hung any more.

They were ready to cook IMMEDIATELY.

That was the only good thing about that hunt.

Buffalo tail is my favorite meal. And best of all Saeed HATES it!

Now I will tell you HOW TO HUNT BUFFALO.

We find the tracks.
I send Alan to find the buffalo.
He comes back and drives me there.
We don't get too close. Because we don't want to scare the buffalo.
But we don't want to be too far either. Walking is not something I enjoy. Especially if Roy and Saeed are walking too. They always think they are running in a marathon.

When we are 200 meters from the sleeping buffalo. Me and Alan do our hunt.

This is a proper buffalo hunt. We crawl on our hands and knees.
We slither on our stomachs.
If we did not have Saeed along, we would get to almost touch the buffalo with the end of the barrel.

That is how good Alan and me are.

Saeed and Roy ruin everything, as usual.

Saeed is always laughing.

LAUGHING while hunting buffalo! Can you believe that! Hunting buffalo is very serious business for me. I can only do it so often. It is so stresseful, it gets my heart pumping so hard I have to take a dozen nitro tablets.

Then Alan wakes the buffalo.
Then I shoot the buffalo. The buffalo runs off. I give the rifle to Saeed and ask him to chase it.

I know he loves chasing buffalo.

Sometimes the buffalo do not co-operate. He runs only a few yards and stops. Always behind a bush.

Then I take the rifle from Saeed, walk to the buffalo, which is normally already dead.

Remember, I wasn't called ONE SHOT WALTER for nothing.

Of course, that other comedian has to get into the act too.

Roy shouting "SHOOTING HIM AGAIN!"

The buffalo is already DEAD. But Roy is screaming SHOOTING HIM AGAIN!

I shoot the dead buffalo again.

Not to kill it again, but to get Roy to stop screaming.

We al celebrate, with a cold drink, as the truck is there by now.

THIS IS HOW TO SHOOT BUFFALO!

Walter--- we need a video of your buffalo hunt also!

Let me tell you the story of that buffalo Walter is sitting behind on the photo of the forum.

We got in the truck early in the morning, with the idea of finding a buffalo for walter.

Now, the following conversation might not have been carried out in the exact same words, but I can assure you the meaning was. Walter really has no friends in camp - except the ladies and cook!

As the truck started moving, Roy said "What is the plan?"

Alan "Find a buffalo for Walter"
"And where do you plan to find s tupid buffalo like that?"

"Roy! Why is it a stupid buffalo that I shoot? What about that one you had to shoot 27 and a half time to kill ha? Mine die much quicker than yours. AND, AND, we do not need a truck to pull them out of a wet corongo. Ha ha ha! That was so funny. I wish I was there. But, I saw the video. Ha ha ha! Saeed could not even eat his dinner because he had stomach ache because of all the laughing! Ha ha ha!"

I said "We need the buffalo euquivelant of the dumb blond. One that will stand there looking long enough for Walter to shoot it"

"Saeed, Saeed, you be quiet. Don't get on his side. He is just jealous I kill my buffalo better than him. Roy, just make sure you have the video camera going. I don't want you getting mesmerized by my hunt and you forget to switch the camera on"

"Ha ha ha! Don't worry. I will film EVERYTHING! At least I will try to keep the camera steady while you are going about your usual way"

I said "Yes Walter, remember how everyone knows you by now. ONE SHOT WALTER!"

"YES YES, Roy, listen to my friend Saeed"
"He is your friend now is he? What happened to all the nasty thing you were saying about him at breakfast"

"Roy, Roy. You have lost your brain since you moved to America. Saeed, how goes that saying about talking in camp?"

"What happens in camp stays in camp"
"Yes! Remember that Roy! Also, what happens in the bush stays in the bush too. You have to remember that too"

"That is going a pretty boring life, if we don't talk about what went on in the bush"

This was going on while we were driving. Alan and the trackers saw fresh buffalo dung, so we stopped.

"OK Walter, get yourself in the mood for buffalo. The buffalo cannot be very far now" I said to him.

"I have been in buffalo mood since last night. I dreamt of buffalo. It was better than dreaming of my wife"

We all burst out laughing.

Alan went off with the trackers to see where the buffalo have gone. There seems to be the tracks of 3 bulls.

I stayed in the truck to keep Walter's company.

He had a rucksack with him.

In it he had his 2 GPS, another GPS was around his neck. He had 4 small pocket cameras, plus an SLR. An ipod, and two additional speakers, 2 books, an assortment of magazines, 2 cell phones, one was in a see-through plastic case with 4 additional sim cards! 2 Sat phones!

"What is all this?"

"Mind your own bloody business!"
"Why did you bring your cell phones with you? And what are these sim cards for?"

"Saeed,listen to me! MIND YOUR OWN BLOODY BUSINESS! It is my stuff, not yours"

"What is in that envelope?"
"My plane ticket"

"Why did you bring your plane ticket here?"
"That is a stupid question! How would I go back home without my plane ticket?"

"I know that, by bring it on the truck to the bush?"

"Saeed, Saeed, I don't know. If I asked myself this before I would have known, But, I don't know"

I know the above sounds very hard to believe, but, I can assure you it all happened!

Alan comes back with a big smile on his face.

"Come on Walter, the buffalo is close by"

I jumped out of the truck, chambered a round in the rifle, and handed it to Walter. And off went went.

Alan in the lead, Walter tagging behind, Roy following with his video camera, and me following them with my small video camera. I wanted to capture all the small things Walter gets up to.

We walked about 200 yards, then everyone started slithering on the ground. Taking our time to get close to the buffalo which was lying down.

Again, I would like to remind everyone that this is not a normal group of hunters. It is our lot.

And with our lot one can expect the unexpected.

Alan was trying to locate the buffalo, which was about 100 yards away, but could not be seen.

He was trying to whisper to Walter, Walter is stone deaf, Roy was busy taking a close up video of some tiny flower. Then he got tired of that and started taking a video of his own palm! - I have all this on video. And me trying my best to keep my laughter in check!

Then I see Walter gets his pen out - yes, he even carries a pen to the bush on a buffalo hunt!

He handed the pen to Alan. Alan looks at him with a surprising look, as if saying "what do I do with this pen?"

Walter then offers his hand to Alan, who proceeds to write the distance of where the buffalo was on his hands.

Then a sort of hand conversation developed between Alan and Walter. I don't think Walter had any idea what Alan was trying to tell him. But, that is besides the point.

Then Alan puts the shooting sticks up, while he is still sitting down. Any normal hunter would have proceeded to get on teh shooting sticks and get ready to shoot.

Not Walter.

He just looked at Alan.
I poked him in the ribs, and pointed up. He was lying on his side, and in thsi position he is unable to stand, which he needed to do to shoot.

So he started looking around. I took the rifle from him, he turned onto his stomach, raised himself up, got onto the sticks, just as the buffalo sensed our presence and stood up.

Walter fires!

The buffalo took off.

He turned around and hands me the rifle "Now it is your turn!"

Luckily his shot was good, so the bull only ran a few yards a fell down.

"Here, take your rifle back. You got kill it"

We walked close to teh buffalo, Walter is just ambling along without any worry in the world about the buffalo lying there.

"WALTER STOP! Shoot it again!" Roy was shouting.

Walter fires another shot at the buffalo.

"Hey Roy! You just want to ruin my average! That buffalo was DEAD! Why do I have to shoot it again?"

"Because the dead ones gets you. That is why"

Then we had to spend about two hours calming Walter down. He is so happy he shot a buffalo, and non one can say anything about it either!