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Another Buff Poem

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28 July 2016, 23:59
Biebs
Another Buff Poem
I guess I have WAY too much time on my hands these day! Here goes:


He thinks I owe him money
He stares at me with hate
I wonder what I'm doing here
It seems I'm tempting fate

I've ever wanted to hunt this beast
To prove myself to me
But it sounded so much better
When at the DSC

He's big and black and owns this turf
I'm just an interloper
I spent my dime and now it's time
To get this meeting over

I move in close and soon I feel
A wet spot in my crotch
Oh why did I forget to bring
My trusty fifth of Scotch

I draw my bead upon his mass
My rifle seems anemic
A piece of lead I shoot in hope
Of stopping this Black Titanic

At the shot he quivers not
But takes off for the jess
Where's he's gone in this thick scrub
Is anybody's guess

I hope my guide will back me up
As we track on through tall grass
In case I fail to stop the beast
I hope he'll save my ass

I finally spot him laying up
Behind some thorny tree
Looking, glaring, keen to make
Fresh toe-jam out of me

My double roars and I can see
I've knocked him on his haunches
But shortly then he's on his feet
and like a missile launches

I draw my bead upon his boss
Just one shot left to battle
He skids to a stop beneath my feet
My teeth are all a chatter

The hunt is done, I did the deed
Must be some great Bwana
But now I think I'll sit and roll
A joint of Marijuana
29 July 2016, 00:20
vvreddy
Excellent!!!! tu2 beer clap clap clap
29 July 2016, 00:22
fairgame
Daffodils are yellow
Buffalo are black
Daffodils are not dangerous
But buffalo are


ROYAL KAFUE LTD
Email - kafueroyal@gmail.com
Tel/Whatsapp (00260) 975315144
Instagram - kafueroyal
29 July 2016, 00:30
Biebs
Andrew, I'd copyright that before someone steals it!
29 July 2016, 00:43
MacD37
I laughed my butt off! jumping animal

That was pretty good prose for a TURD!
.................................................................... old


....Mac >>>===(x)===> MacD37, ...and DUGABOY1
DRSS Charter member
"If I die today, I've had a life well spent, for I've been to see the Elephant, and smelled the smoke of Africa!"~ME 1982

Hands of Old Elmer Keith

29 July 2016, 00:53
Brian Canada
Biebs, That is the best! I am hanging that framed beside my old bull on the wall.
You made my day and probably my week! Thanks, Brian


IHMSA BC Provincial Champion and Perfect 40 Score, Unlimited Category, AAA Class.
29 July 2016, 00:59
Brian Canada
fairgame, Excellent execution of free verse!


IHMSA BC Provincial Champion and Perfect 40 Score, Unlimited Category, AAA Class.
29 July 2016, 01:54
Brian Canada
Saeed,
Come on Saeed, You're a seasoned buffalo hunter, lets have a poem. Brian


IHMSA BC Provincial Champion and Perfect 40 Score, Unlimited Category, AAA Class.
29 July 2016, 03:28
BaxterB
Saeeds would go something like

Roy said that one
So I shot him
29 July 2016, 04:40
Brian Canada
"Nothin' but the facts"


IHMSA BC Provincial Champion and Perfect 40 Score, Unlimited Category, AAA Class.
29 July 2016, 07:54
Beretta682E
quote:
Originally posted by Biebs:
I guess I have WAY too much time on my hands these day! Here goes:


He thinks I owe him money
He stares at me with hate
I wonder what I'm doing here
It seems I'm tempting fate

I've ever wanted to hunt this beast
To prove myself to me
But it sounded so much better
When at the DSC

He's big and black and owns this turf
I'm just an interloper
I spent my dime and now it's time
To get this meeting over

I move in close and soon I feel
A wet spot in my crotch
Oh why did I forget to bring
My trusty fifth of Scotch

I draw my bead upon his mass
My rifle seems anemic
A piece of lead I shoot in hope
Of stopping this Black Titanic

At the shot he quivers not
But takes off for the jess
Where's he's gone in this thick scrub
Is anybody's guess

I hope my guide will back me up
As we track on through tall grass
In case I fail to stop the beast
I hope he'll save my ass

I finally spot him laying up
Behind some thorny tree
Looking, glaring, keen to make
Fresh toe-jam out of me

My double roars and I can see
I've knocked him on his haunches
But shortly then he's on his feet
and like a missile launches

I draw my bead upon his boss
Just one shot left to battle
He skids to a stop beneath my feet
My teeth are all a chatter

The hunt is done, I did the deed
Must be some great Bwana
But now I think I'll sit and roll
A joint of Marijuana


Amazing Biebs

Robert Redford in looks and Alan Ginsburg with a pen.

Mike
29 July 2016, 18:48
Biebs
Mikey, the Redford part is spot on, but maybe T S Elliot? I like bacon too much to be a Ginsberg :-)
29 July 2016, 22:13
butchloc
i especially liked the part where he was using a double rather than a blaser sofa
29 July 2016, 23:35
rnovi
quote:
Originally posted by Biebs:
Mikey, the Redford part is spot on, but maybe T S Elliot? I like bacon too much to be a Ginsberg :-)


We're talking about the old, ugly Redford, right? beer


Regards,

Robert

******************************
H4350! It stays crunchy in milk longer!
30 July 2016, 00:00
Biebs
quote:
We're talking about the old, ugly Redford, right? beer

Seen pix of him lately? He's imploded!!!!
30 July 2016, 09:40
Michael Robinson
These onslaughts are formidable, but I would hazard that Shakespeare's legacy is at least safe for the time being! Big Grin


Mike

Wilderness is my cathedral, and hunting is my prayer.
30 July 2016, 18:28
Biebs
Michael, now you went and hurt my feelings :-(
02 August 2016, 06:42
Michael Robinson
Hey, I compared you to the Immortal Bard! How bad can that be? Big Grin


Mike

Wilderness is my cathedral, and hunting is my prayer.
03 August 2016, 01:00
Steve416
quote:
Originally posted by fairgame:
Daffodils are yellow
Buffalo are black
Daffodils are not dangerous
But buffalo are


rotflmo tu2