Swedish Natasha Illum Berg (33) lives by shooting lions, leopards and buffalo. One day she was suspected of shooting her boyfriend too.
Tough: Natasha Ilum Berg carries a caliber 458 bullet around her neck that she cut out of the heart of her first buffalo.
Woman amongst Men: - "I have been scared over how women are treated here. You wouldn't believe it".
Scouting: The hunter rests her eyes on the wandering prey.
Primitive: Natasha lives in a simple cabin in Arusha, Tanzania. She has 3 workers, a computer and her trusty rifle.
Natasha sits on her staircase in front of her home in Nairobi, Kenya. She is screaming, while holding a man in her arms. It is her boyfriend who is shot thru the heart. He breaths weakly, then dies.
How did she end up here? In the middle of darkest africa, a blond 29 year old woman form the south of Sweden?
And why would they suspect her of the murder?
It's 3 years since that happend now, but Natasha is still breahtless when she talks into the phone about it. It's soon nightfall in africa. She tells of the british artist Tonio Trzebinski, the love of her life. They had just recently decided to come out in the open as a couple, when he was shot on the way to visit her. The murder is still not solved.
Natasha has nowwritten the book "Tea in the blue sofa", about the writer and Big game hunter "Anoushka"s relation to his lover. He is killed, near her home.
"It isn't much differant from my life, as anyone can see" Natasha says.
(Blablabla, a qoute from her book)
"I am leading a hunting team of 13 men tonight. We have just shot a big antilope out here and are very happy". Natashas voice reaches us over the cracking telephone line. She has travelled far into the bush, away ffrom her primitive cabin, which lies on a hill near Arusha. She lives there with her trusty rifle, 3 workers, a solar powered computer, and the letters of her dead boyfriend.
She tells of the big necklace around her neck in gold: a cartridge in calibur 458. (I presume the journalist meant "bullet"?)
"I cut it out of the heart from my first buffalo". "A buffalo doesnt slacken it's speed down to a trot from a gallop just because I'm a little blond form Sweden" she says.
She has lost many collegues to the wild animals. But that is not the worst. The thing with Tonio is.
"Can you talk about the day he died?"
"We could talk abot it for hours" she replies.
She remembers the blood. That she lay down beside him and screamed.
TT was married when he met N. His wife; Anna Cunningham-Reid, was in the Us at the time, escaping the threeway drama. It was Natasha, the tall, blond beauty that had come between them.
T was a well built man, an artist who lived the good life and painted popular abstract pictures. 2 weeks before the murder, Anna had found out about the affair. They agreed to get separated.
T must have known his murderer, according to "everyone".
The area is known for armed robbery, but nothing was missing¨. Not his Alfa Romeo, Rolex or wallet with money. Rumors began to pop up. Was it a contract killing?
N refused to speak to the press. It was she that pressed the alarm buttoon in her house when the shots rang out. The press smelled blood.
"I was called the Icequeen by the English press and whites in Kenya. Others called me "The blond model". "It is incredable how hard people can be, they dug into all the details, how much time we spent together, if we had sex, what the last thing he said was".
N was not allowed to partake in T's funeral, who was one of Kenya most known personalities. She had a plane fly her over the ceremony, so she could say farewell.
The police stuck to that she was the murderer. They brought few others into interigations. "I went thru it all, for 1 1/2 months. I almost went crazy".
She was questioned for 6 hours every day for 50 days, and they took her computer away.
"I had a half finished book saved there, that they studied. They said "you'll get it back tommorrow" for a montha nd a half. I had no motive. It would look good if they got it to look like a white person did it". "I thought: "Go to hell". In the end I took a chance and marched into the police station and screamed: If that's what you think, then take me,a nd let me rot in prison in this damned country of yours. Your corrupt country. FOr something I dind't do". "I screamed Where I come from, a person is honost. And I want my computer back. Now!"
OK, Here is your computer they said. On the way out she said: "I can't be bothered with this anymore. Talk to someone more imposrtant than me. I'm leaving the country. Goodbye."
She didn't consider going back to Sweden.
"No, as long as the case was being investigated, I wanted to be near. It was my responsibility. I know I instinctivly belong in africa. I must have the adrenalin, nature, and all that I love".
She went to Tanzania.
"It appears that I'm best when under pressure". "Suddenly I could write, and the hunting clients started booking. I built my little cottage. And then when everything was set, I went to Sweden. That is when I broke down, at my mothers place. I almost lost my mind".
N stayed at home for a half a year.
Now she is back, and has begun to write the book she must write.
She is in the deep bush when she is talking to us on the phone:
When I was done with the manuscript, I gave it to my consultant in Denmark". " I said: I dont know what this is, but it comes from the bottom of my heart. I have to get it out before I can do anything else".
The consultant came back after 3 days and said we have to get this book published.
She talks softly into her cell phone. It is late, there are animals, big animals nearby.
"It is 3 years since T's murder, it is only the last 3-4 months I've started to live again. Now I feel strong. The pain will never go away, but the love I had..." She stops.
"I have been loved, and I have loved back. That is more than most people have experianced".
The cellphone line is broken.
"What I meant to say was that where other people can go into a church,and declare their love, where others can have children, I must scream out my love in a differat form. For me the book is about closeing a dooe. Slowy. the door into death, and into Tonio".
Have you been scared?
"No. Why should I have been? I am not the kind of person to run when I am attacked. When 5 policemen are trying to press you, you cannot show fear".
Who killed T?
"I have a theory, but can never be 100% sure.It's a corrupt country".
How is the investigation going?
"This case will never be closed"
Why are you so negative?
"I have hope, but don't really believe it. Scotland Yard is on the case I have heard".
Her life has all the elemants of a hollywood film. Directors are already fighting over the rights.
It is 15 years since N fisrt left her heart in africa. She grew up on a farm in southern Sweden. A Danish mother and Swedish father. N wnet to RSA to educate herself in hunting and conservation. She dropped out of the school, and ended up in Tanzania where she became an apprentice. She then went home but was bitten by the africa bug.
"I approached a man who was going to make a documentory about hunting in africa. And was allowed to join him. I scraped together my last funds, and invited my mother out to lunch in Copenhagen, where I told her I was leaving, and wouldn't return".
"The biggest moment in my life was when I was 14 years old. I realized that the world was mine for the taking. I grew up with hunting. My father hunted. Luckly my parent forgot to tell me that it is not expected of girls to hunt".
Nothing could stop her.
" I'm an adventurer. I have to go out and explore. This is my home now. When I opn my eyes and look out on the savanna, I see the giraffes and zebras. I feel loved by nature. If there is anything I fear in nature it is when I meet other people. Not animals".
Do you miss home?
"I don't miss Sweden or denmark. It's nice to visit though. To midsummer eve and sausages. I can also be nostalgic. And there is something we don't get here- The safety and security you get as a woman in Scandinavia. I have been scared of the way women are treated here".
Do you have any advice for your sisters in the north?
"If anything; Try to be yourself. And be more quiet. Try to live alone for some months, at least a couple of times in your life. Try to feel the silence. Find a place where you can hear yourself".
Where she is sitting on the other side of the world, she says:
"This is not a place you can escape from . Today we have walked ofr 12 hours. I'm so in contact with nature. Everything is so pleasant now. I'm happy. What I love in life is to write and to hunt. tHe ultimate hunt for me is for buffalo. It is an intelligent and dangerous animal. I would be lieing if I said I hadn't been afraid during the hunt, but when I'm out hunting, such as tonight, it is jsut so beautiful. And these animals. God, I've been lucky.
Both animals rightists and other women have critisized her.
"Many say hunting is the same as murder. They accuse me of being evil, for not caring abouyt nature, just because I shoot lions. But the same people eat meat, and wear shoes made of leather."
She knows her book will create havoc.
"I'm prepaired for the lies that will come, but I promised the man to look after his soul"
Will you love again?'
"I keep the door open. I won't be bitter, only loosers are bitter. Then I might as well have shot myself. I want a lover, that is for sure. But that I will love a man again, let him all the way... That I'm not so sure of. That person must really be something then. I can not go back to something mediocre in my life"