It was about my 4th or 5th safari and I really should have known better by then.

The year was 1994 and I was hunting in Zimbabwe and doing my best to get a lioness. In 1989 a PH had mentioned that the lion population was getting a bit out of hand in one particular area and there was even talk of a cull.

I reckon that those expensive sable dinners were starting to add up. I always pay attention when there was such talk and I came to the conclusion that maybe I might hunt one of them hungry over populated beasts some day.

The rug might look good beside my big ol' male lion rug that was keeping me company for the rest of my life up here in the Great White North.

The trophy fee for a lioness that year was $1,750 U.S. Mighty fair. Mighty fair.

The hunter that was departing as we arrived had hunted for 15 days and not gotten his lion. I felt sorry for the old guy and then mentioned to my long suffering Lady Margaret that eventually the odds would have to swing our way. (Something that Jay Mellon had once written) Surely 30 days of lion hunting between the old chap and myself would get the shot.

The trophy fees for kudu baits were $300. I whacked a bull with my 416 and eventually a young cow with my funky 323 Hollis Magnum.

We hung up the kudu cow on a small tree and the craven beasts broke the tree and ate the whole thing in one night. Kiss the $300 U.S. good bye.

Nuts!

I then went to the 24 year old PH and suggested that I would like to shoot a cow buffalo for bait! I could hunt a buffalo and have lots of bait! I believe that the buffalo was about $600 or so.

Permission was granted from the Outfitter and a day or two later we started following a rather large herd of buffalo.

The young PH was about 6'4" and I am about Hobbit size. Eventually we were running right behind the herd.

I thought that it was rather dumb to be doing such a thing. ButI had read that you should listen to your PH! O.K.

Why would you want to flank the critters and pick your animal and your shot, anyways?

Eventually the last three or four animals in the herd were topping over the hill right in front of us. The trailing cow had a broken right back leg.

The guide then said, ' Richard, shoot that buffalo with the broken leg!'

I assumed that he wanted me to shoot the buffalo with the broken back leg.

So I threw up the 416 Sako with the 1 1/2 x 5 Leupold scope and when the rifle roared, the cow was just cresting and the 2 minute dot was on the right back leg. The broken one.

The Ph glared at me and asked me why in the hell did I shoot?

Aiiieee. I could only whimper that he had told me to.

'Not in the ass!'

Things went even more to hell from there. We got up to the herd and he insisted that we charge the herd! I could go on and on about startled buffalo rushing away with what looked like a wall of dust a hundred feet in the air.

Nothing to see here. Nothing to see here.

We did that a few times. Never did see the poor wounded buffalo again.

To compound my stupidity was the angle of the shot. On the level the bullet would not have sailed on to Zambia.

Yeah, I done bad.

Very unfortunate.

I have also made serious mistakes when I have done what the PH told me to do — including wounding a lion and other less dangerous animals.

All of them, I am happy to say, were later killed by me.

I have also made my share of mistakes sua sponte. Some few, sadly, turned out to be irreparable, and those I still wonder about.

Hey Scruffy:

At least you were out there!

Without that run, just think of the shape you might be in by now. All good exercise, right?

Cheers,

George

Years ago, I used to get told “wait for him to give you a good angle”

Then I learned that my rifle, and my bullets, will kill any animal from any angle.

Except elephant.

I have many lions, both male and female.

Including a lioness which was running away from us.

I have shot dozens of buffalo up the rear end.

Never lost one of them.

Oh, I have wounded and lost buffalo, but not shot in the rear end.

Having been hunting with the same PHs, they don’t say much.

The shooting sticks go up, and they put their fingers in their ears.

Taking the shot be my responsibility.

My stupidest thing was booking a hunt with Martin Pieters.

quote:

Taking the shot be my responsibility.

As it should be.

The stupidest thing that I recall doing was packing the wrong ammo for one of my hunts in the BVC. Went into my ammo room, picked up, by mistake, a box of 458 Win instead of 375 H&H. Packed it for the trip, listed it on my gun permits as 375 H&H. No one along the way ever noticed it or flagged it. Got into the field and ready to load up my 375 H&H and discovered that the ammo would not feed. Looked at the end the box and discovered it was the wrong ammo. Drove to BVC headquarters and met with Blondie Leatham who traded me the full box of 458 Win for about 12 rounds of 375 H&H. Then borrowed some extra 375 H&H from my hunting companion. Blondie told me that it could have been worse. He said that they had a hunter show up with his 470 NE double and had forgot his ammo. They found him a box in Bulawayo through John Sharp for $1,000 for a box of 20. The hunter readily paid it.

This may be controversial but the stupidest thing I've done on safari was to follow the PH's stern recommendation to use solids only on Buffalo.

Mark

Got up in the middle of the night to pee, we didn't have ensuite baths at the old camp. Walk out about maybe 50 to 60 yards and while watering the ground I let loose with a bit of gas. There was a lion within earshot of my fart and it let out a pretty decent growl/roar. I nearly shit myself, and beat a hasty retreat back to my tent. The thought of me ending up a furry turd kept me awake all night. The next morning a couple of the camp staff guys said, hey did you hear the lion last night, it was real close to camp.

In 2019 I was on my fifth safari in Namibia with Jan du Plessis of Sebra Hunting Safaris . We were sitting in a rock blind on a kopje overlooking a water trough about 100 yards downhill. A pair of Gemsbok cows wandered up for a drink and lingered for 10-15 minutes. Jan remarked that the larger cow was “REALLY BIG”. Having already shot 6 or 7 Gemsbok in my previous 4 hunts I decided to pass. After the cows finally wandered away Jan said “You realize that cow was at least 43” don’t you?”

I’ll probably never see a bigger Gemsbok again and should have taken the shot.

Bud: An ancillary story to yours. While hunting Namibia with Westfalen Safaris a few years back, my PH John wanted me to shoot, for free, a number of gemsbok for meat for the Safari operations. One day we came across a Gemsbok cow and he instructed me to shoot her. She was about 200 yards away and I told him that I thought that she was about 44" and a trophy animal. He and the tracker vehemently disagreed with me and instructed me to shoot her. I obliged. We measured her and she was 43 1/2". The tracker was more than embarrassed, as was John. I didn't pay the trophy fee nor keep her-and the meat went to the lodge. I had already shot a 42" male on my very first safari in South Africa years before. That was enough for me for my trophy room.

Paid $13k to get my trophies home.

quote:

Paid $13k to get my trophies home.

Last August, I was unpacking my bags in Namibia only to find that I had left my underwear at home .

Larry, I did the same thing in Namibia in June, fortunately I always have a change of clothes in my carry-on so I got through.
Stupidest thing I ever did was hunt buffalo on Mount Kenya, in the dusk, in dense riverine scrub, with a tracker and a 300 H&H but without a flash-light, or a back-up rifle, or a licensed PH. Gave up when I couldn't see the buff at 6 feet through the scope. Not entirely legal but I was younger then!

Booking coach class tickets.

Booking a trip via an inexperienced operator that was in cahoots with a Indian concession owner. Recipe for a financial disaster.

Have done this twice - watched the target animal walk behind some bushes, come out the other side, I shoot and find that the intended target was not the one walking out from behind the bush - impala and wildebeast. The PH had a very odd expression on his face.

Last day, last hour of a bad bear hunt, walk out to an overlook without my rifle while waiting on the bush plane and not seeing any bears. You know what happened next.....

Brought too much crap on my first safari.

Cheers, Steve