This was sent to me by a boet from the Transvaal. Who says they ain't high tech, and as a bonus, examples of proper usage in a sentence!

~ Alan



Boere Computer Dictionary from South Africa

Monitor: Keeping an eye on the braai
Download: Get the firewood off the bakkie
Hard drive: Trip back home without any cold beer
Keyboard: Where you hang the bakkie and bike keys
Window: What you shut when it's cold
Screen: What you shut in the mosquito season
Byte: What mosquitoes do
Bit: What mosquitoes did
Mega Byte: What mosquitoes at the dam do
Chip: A bar snack
Micro Chip: What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
Modem: What you did to the lawns
Dot Matrix: Oom Jan Matrix's wife (classic!)
Laptop: Where the cat sleeps
Software: Plastic knives and forks you get at KFC
Hardware: Real stainless steel knives and forks from Checkers
Mouse: What eats the grain in the shed
Mouse Pad: Where the mouse takes the grain it does not eat
Mainframe: What holds the shed up
Web: What spiders make
Web Site: The shed (or under the verandah)
Cursor: The old bloke what swears a lot
Search Engine: What you do when the bakkie won't go
Yahoo: What you say when the bakkie does go
Upgrade: A steep hill
Server: The person at the pub that brings out the lunch
Mail Server: The bloke at the pub that brings out the lunch
User: The neighbour that keeps borrowing things
Network: When you have to repair your fishing net
Internet: Complicated fish net repair method
Netscape: When fish maneuvers out of reach of net
Online: When you get the laundry hung out
Off Line: When the pegs don't hold the washing up

Floppy Drive - When you take your plaas wekkas to the clinic

Blog – shortened version of Braai Log

Virus – the reason your wekkas go on a floppy drive to the clinic

Antivirus – the medication the wekkas get at the clinic

Virus protection – free condoms for the wekkas at the clinic

Stiffy – what happens to the wekkas when the anti-virus doesn’t wek

This really belongs in the humour section, but thanks for not posting it there, as I would have missed it! I had a great laugh!

My sides hurt now.

Von Gruff.

That was Gold.

it is fantastic, but, please, what is wekka?

Steve, Difficult to explain if you have not yet heard black South Africans speak English. Many have a very characteristic accent and way of pronouncing common words. The word “wekka” is a very good approximation of how many blacks in South Africa will pronounce ‘worker’ [labourer or employee].

So, here in South Africa we have a public holiday on 1st May, it is spoken of by many as Wekka’s Day, what others will call “Worker’s Day”.


Have a nice day!

Andrew McLaren

Andrew,
it is a preciuos help you gave to me. Not so difficult to understand now, also in the film, maily in the old films like "Gone with the wind" the black people speaks in that way.
I remember a joke wrote by Shakari, where a black driver says "ovah" instead "over" and so on.
Thank you

Steve,

If you liked 'wekka', you are going to love 'bed'. Here is a comment a friend from Pretoria sent me:

And, wek and wekkas (last line) is work and workers, as pronounced by Zulu and Xhose people. Bed is bird. As in 'I wanted to shoot the beds'. hahaha

quote:

Originally posted by Alan Bunn:
Steve,

If you liked 'wekka', you are going to love 'bed'. Here is a comment a friend from Pretoria sent me:

And, wek and wekkas (last line) is work and workers, as pronounced by Zulu and Xhose people. Bed is bird. As in 'I wanted to shoot the beds'. hahaha

This reminds me of when my wife and I were taking a sundowner cruise on the Kavongo River in the Caprivi Strip a few years ago. Our guide asked us if we wanted to see game animals or "bats". We looked at each other and silently asked each other "bats"? I quickly replied "just just want to see game animals." Only later when he kept pointing two and describing "bats" did I realize he was talking about birds.

Unfortunately not only can they not pronounce the the word "work" they are also extremely averse to it.

I bet my colleagues will concur with me here.
A prospective employee will approach you requesting a job. You ask him/her whether they are looking for "work" to which they will almost always reply, "No, I want a job" and therein lies the rub.

i liked the fact that you guys like this.


Seargant-major De Vos: "came!, lets went"
" close breads, will be served after the pavillion"

Alan,
many words sound strange to me when I'm in Africa, for example zebra word sometime was pronounced like jeebra, and this was easy for me to understand. But it was not always the same.


Instead once I heard two trackers speaking in a click language .... a strange thing, interesting.

And I found it, it was a joke by Shakari:
Ranger, black, Driver – Ranger, white, at the base

Driver: Ahhhh bass, bass, bass, kom in pliz. Ovah
Base: Base to mobile patrol, receiving. Over.
Driver: Ahhhh sah. I hev a prroblem. I hev rrolled the land rovah, ovah, ovah.
Base: OK mobile. Give me your position and we'll send help. Over.
Mobile: Sah, my posishun, she is upside down, ovah.

quote:

Originally posted by Andrew McLaren:
Steve, Difficult to explain if you have not yet heard black South Africans speak English. Many have a very characteristic accent and way of pronouncing common words. The word “wekka” is a very good approximation of how many blacks in South Africa will pronounce ‘worker’ [labourer or employee].

So, here in South Africa we have a public holiday on 1st May, it is spoken of by many as Wekka’s Day, what others will call “Worker’s Day”.


Have a nice day!

Andrew McLaren

I thought the 1st of may was kafirdag

jens, that will get you 10 years of hard labor!

My favorite Afrikaaner word when at the computer, used also in many other circumstnces is "FOCK!!!"
When asked by the father of the friend I hunt with in RSA if I had picked up any Afrikaaner, I replied yes, I can say focking computer, focking cell phone and focking fax with the best of them.