We had a great time, but I never stopped thinking how much greater my safari would have been if Saeed stayed home for once.

I discovered something else too.
Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

Walter, Saeed said you were to begin working on a transporter once you arrived in camp, opting to beam into camp and bypass the entire airline thing. Did you ever get that perfected? Not looking forward to the upcoming long flight!

Todd,

There is no way anyone can understand how Walter's mind works!

I have been trying for so many years, and I am still stumped!

There is no invention available today that Walter does not think he can improve upon.

He wanted to try to speed up our CNC lathe so it produces bullets faster.

He wanted me to show him how to program it. Something I have steadfastly refused to do, because I KNOW that machine will be useless once he gets into programming it.

Well, that did not stop him smashing it up and making it worthless for a couple of months.

You see, the machine has a glass window, through which one can watch how the operation is progressing.

Walter was fascinated by how those tools move around.

He got himself a cup of coffee, and stood with his face right against the glass to inspect the progress.

He then lifted his hand to drink from his coffee mug., in the process, his elbow touched the keyboard next to the glass window.

There was an almighty crash, and the machine came to a sudden halt!

He moved the tool head, which crashed against the turret. Causing several thousands dollars worth of damage, and we had to get the parts from Austria!

quote:

Originally posted by Saeed:
Todd,

There is no way anyone can understand how Walter's mind works!

I have been trying for so many years, and I am still stumped!

There is no invention available today that Walter does not think he can improve upon.

He wanted to try to speed up our CNC lathe so it produces bullets faster.

He wanted me to show him how to program it. Something I have steadfastly refused to do, because I KNOW that machine will be useless once he gets into programming it.

Well, that did not stop him smashing it up and making it worthless for a couple of months.

You see, the machine has a glass window, through which one can watch how the operation is progressing.

Walter was fascinated by how those tools move around.

He got himself a cup of coffee, and stood with his face right against the glass to inspect the progress.

He then lifted his hand to drink from his coffee mug., in the process, his elbow touched the keyboard next to the glass window.

There was an almighty crash, and the machine came to a sudden halt!

He moved the tool head, which crashed against the turret. Causing several thousands dollars worth of damage, and we had to get the parts from Austria!

Hmmmm ... Sounds like riding a transporter beam designed and built by Walter would involve a bit more risk than I'm ready to assume at this point in life. SAA is looking better all of a sudden!

quote:

Originally posted by Saeed:
Todd,

There is no way anyone can understand how Walter's mind works!

I have been trying for so many years, and I am still stumped!

There is no invention available today that Walter does not think he can improve upon.

He wanted to try to speed up our CNC lathe so it produces bullets faster.

He wanted me to show him how to program it. Something I have steadfastly refused to do, because I KNOW that machine will be useless once he gets into programming it.

Well, that did not stop him smashing it up and making it worthless for a couple of months.

You see, the machine has a glass window, through which one can watch how the operation is progressing.

Walter was fascinated by how those tools move around.

He got himself a cup of coffee, and stood with his face right against the glass to inspect the progress.

He then lifted his hand to drink from his coffee mug., in the process, his elbow touched the keyboard next to the glass window.

There was an almighty crash, and the machine came to a sudden halt!

He moved the tool head, which crashed against the turret. Causing several thousands dollars worth of damage, and we had to get the parts from Austria!

Saeed I was reading your post above to my wife, and we laughed till we both cried tears.

I told my wife that you should build a iron barred cage around that machine so Walter can't get to it! Her reply was "NO! Saeed should build a barred cage around WALTER, so he can't get to ANYTHING!"

.....................................................................

Mac,

Please tell your wife she is absolutely right.

We ALL agree with her!

Saeed

You might consider giving him a broom & telling him to go to the beach & sweep up the sand......... with a bit of luck, it'll keep him out of harm's way for a number of years!

I really don't understand why you guys jump on Walter so much. To me he is one of the major attractions here!

Did I tell you about the time Walter tried to recue a drowning man?

Water was in his boat, and saw a man having difficulty staying afloat.

He drove up to him, and threw a rope to him.

The man was so grateful, he started pulling on the rope like mad!

Suddenly, the rope came to an end!

As Walter threw him a rope that wasn't tied anywhere!

By this time the coastguard came over and saved the poor fellow from Walter.

Afterwards he said the man should be grateful he did not throw him the anchor on it!

Years ago Walter and me went diving.

We had no diving instructions. We just bought the tanks and went diving.

He had a pair of very long fins - he said so he could out swim sharks.

We were spear fishing.

After a while, I came from behind him, and yank very hard at his fin!

Luckily were not very deep, as he took off like a submarine launched cruise missile!

Jesus

quote:

I discovered something else too.
Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

If you just learned the above at your advanced age, you've lived well.

Saeed, wish you would write a book about these stories!!! They ALWAYS crack me up

Please, excuse my ignorance but what is your relationship with Walter... family? business? friend?

This is COMEDY CENTRAL even better

Roland: I've said the same thing for years. A best seller for sure! And then, Saeed could produce sets of DVDs. They would most likely outsell Mark Sullivan! Taking out the word Death, you could have plenty of DVDs, with some entitled: "Walter's Rush", "Walter by the Ton", "Walter at my Feet", "Shot by Walter", "Walter on the Run", "Suddenly Walter", Walter in the Tent", "In the Face of Walter", "Use Enough Walter", "Fear No Walter", "Walter and the Blaser", "Walter in Camp", or "Walter does Tanzania". The possiblities are endless!!!!

quote:

There is no way anyone can understand how Walter's mind works

Ah Walter's mind or as I like to call it Walter land, its a fantastic place to live, all sorts of thing happen in there.

quote:

Originally posted by Bakes:

quote:

There is no way anyone can understand how Walter's mind works

Ah Walter's mind or as I like to call it Walter land, its a fantastic place to live, all sorts of thing happen in there.

What color is the sky in Walterland?

I have the answer send Walter to Kenya for safari. Of course by himself.

quote:

Originally posted by Use Enough Gun:
Roland: I've said the same thing for years. A best seller for sure! And then, Saeed could produce sets of DVDs. They would most likely outsell Mark Sullivan! Taking out the word Death, you could have plenty of DVDs, with some entitled: "Walter's Rush", "Walter by the Ton", "Walter at my Feet", "Shot by Walter", "Walter on the Run", "Suddenly Walter", Walter in the Tent", "In the Face of Walter", "Use Enough Walter", "Fear No Walter", "Walter and the Blaser", "Walter in Camp", or "Walter does Tanzania". The possiblities are endless!!!!

I kid you not Vaughn

Had a crappy day at work, but got home and opened this thread. Now I can't get the grin off my face.

Anything about Walter is just tooooooooo funny!!! Roland: +1! Personally, I think that Saeed's first Walterable DVD set should be: "Use Enough Walter!"

quote:

Originally posted by Esskay:
I really don't understand why you guys jump on Walter so much. To me he is one of the major attractions here!

+1

Reality TV Show featuring Saeed and Walter would be great.
Endless possibilties, in Dubai, Africa, ski and sea vacations, photography tutorials, slapstick comedy, and Walter goofiness.
Some cable network would surely pick it up.
Or Saeed could start his own network.

If "Duck Dynasty," "Pawn Stars," "Guntucky," "Wild West Guns," etc. have a market,
think what could be done with something like "Gunnuts of Dubai."

quote:

Originally posted by RIP:
Reality TV Show featuring Saeed and Walter would be great.
Endless possibilties, in Dubai, Africa, ski and sea vacations, photography tutorials, slapstick comedy, and Walter goofiness.
Some cable network would surely pick it up.
Or Saeed could start his own network.

If "Duck Dynasty," "Pawn Stars," "Guntucky," "Wild West Guns," etc. have a market,
think what could be done with something like "Gunnuts of Dubai."

BINGO!!!
It be a HIT

The best part about Walter is we don't need to make anything up.

In this case, reality IS stranger than fiction!

I was asked to relate some of his classic past wonders.

Here is one some of you might have missed

IF I wrote my thoughts about loading that gun everyone would be mad at me.

Walter and I have one thing in common I see. There's nothing made that can't be improved upon. Especially new cars or trucks and many guns too.

I've never met and likely never will but I already like Walter. He HAS to be a good sport to put up with you guys and all the ribbing and criticizing. OF course he may deserve some of it. But, lets not get into that part too deep.

Hey Walter----? Go have a nice cold beer and let them figure things out without you for awhile, then you can have a laugh at them.

Enjoyed the read, very much enjoyed the one posted about his life history. Much respect there.

IF all he did was bump his elbow on the controls to cause that crash in the CNC. That could happen to anyone. How about a guard cage over such things to prevent it from happening? See, there's an improvement to that expensive toy already.
George

A while back, Walter called.

"Good morning my dear friend Saeed"
"You got the wrong number. You have no friends. Never had, and never will!"

"No no, you are wrong. I have the right number. I am calling my best friend Saeed for help. You see, I am so lucky to have a friend like Saeed. He knows everything about electrics and he is going to help me"

"Do you want to know how to electrocute yourself?"

"I don't need your help in that! I almost did it all by myself! Now, will you just listen to the problem I have and help?"

"Walter, any problem you have is normally unsolvable. They generally have been Walterised. And anything that gets Wal;terised is beyond any hope of recovery! Just look at poor old Roy"

"Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Roy is mjy best friend. He makes me laugh so much. Is his remains still stuck to their metal in the tunnel? I hoep you haven't cleaned all the blood either. He does not like it when I tell him I have followed HIS wounded blood. Ha ha ha, ha ha ha! I cannot stop laughing when I remember that. I wish I was there when it happened"

"Alright, what do you want to know about electrics?"

"I am trying to do two good things. Save the environment and save money. I have replaced the garden and wall lights with solar lights, but they don't work. That is why I need your help"

"Did you buy them from the Dragon Mart?"
"Yes, And before you start complaining about the Chinese, some of things I bought from there do work"

"Did you follow the instructions?"
"I cannot read Chinese! And, and, before you start telling me you don't understand Chinese either, I know, sometimes you don't seem to understand English! All I want to know is the difference between amps and volts"

"If I tell you the difference between amps and volts, can I the get back to doing something useful?"

"Yes yes. What is amps and what is volts?"

"Volts are present in anything that has an electric charge. Amps run when work is being done. OK?"

"Hmm. No not ok. I am confused now. I am looking at the gages here. The volts are zero. The amps is showing about 2 and nothing is running."

"You have a something wrong. You cannot have amps showing with zero volts. Something is wrong"

"I KNOW something is wrong. But what is it?"

"Is your solar panel connected?"
"Yes"
"Disconnect it"

"ok. It is disconnected now. What next?"

"What does the control panel show now?"

"Same thing. No volts and the same amps"

"Problem solved. Your control panel does not work. Can I go now?"

"I don't know why I bother ask you anything. You are never any help at all"

"Typical! I just helped you find your problem, and you still complain!"

"Listen! I KNOW I had a problem. I came to you for help. And as usual you were no help. I still have my problem!"

"Now you know what Roy means when he tells you he has a problem"

Hey Walter:
Sounds like you have a bad gage there.
Disconnect it and see if the needle drops to zero. Many get out of adjustment.

OR is this a long past conversation that has all been figured out by now? IF it has, what was the problem?
george

Years ago I was asked to take an individual up on a helicopter ride.

Apparently he wanted to learn to fly, and the instructors were having serious doubts about his ability.

I took him on a long cross country through a mountain pass, and he kept asking all sorts of questions about the gages and warning signs that one might look for.

It did not take long to realize what the instructors have already learnt.

There was a big red OFF switch that turns all the electrics off.

He asked when does one use that.

"Whenever you get too confused about all the gages and warning signs. Just flip that switch to off. You won't need to worry about anything else then" I told him.

He got the message, and kept quiet for the rest of the flight.

"Hole in the Wall Gang Dubai" will work as the title for the 'Reality" TV show.

If only there was video of this fine example of professional courtesy amongst professional small boys:

"One of our doctor friends mentioned a while back that he could probably fit the combined brain power of this whole team in a 22 Hornet case! That was not very kind of him, of course, as all we did was try to get him to practice with our 577 Tyrannosaur for his upcoming hunting trip to Africa. All he did was dislocated his thumb, bruised his shoulder and his nose looked a bit off center, not to mention the pint or so of blood that came pouring out of his mouth after he fired our rifle. We even offered to lend him the rifle to take hunting with him, and provide him with all the ammo he might need, all free of charge. But I am afraid all our efforts came to nothing. He decided it might be better for him to stick to playing golf. We then offered to make him a custom made gold club, as he mentioned that his handicap was improving quite well, until he fired our rifle, and then it started getting worse. Apparently his golfing partners are making quite a few snide remarks about his game now. He declined our offer, but I will not mention his exact words of what he thought we should do with our golf club, as this is a family oriented site."


And this, after arrival of the new lathe, the tipped-over delivery truck having been righted.
Luckily the crated lathe was not damaged:

"Now I would like you to go back to the beginning of this story, and remember that none of us knew anything about chambering a barrel. None of us has ever even SEEN a chambering reamer before.
We managed to get hold of a 22 BR Remington reamer. The barrel was put in the lathe, and the whole bunch of prospective gunsmiths watched in awe as “our” gunsmith proceeded to cut the chamber. What really happened was that he spent about half an hour scratching his head – then he admitted that he had never chambered a barrel before!? That really did it! Everyone one wanted to put his pennyworth of advice in!
We were debating how to start the job. We installed the reamer in a chuck, which was in turn installed into the tailstock.
We proceeded to cut the chamber – being very careful to pull out the reamer and clean it and the chamber every 0.300 or so. Some bright character suggested that it might be a good idea to try the GO and NO-GO gauges now. We did and the Go gauge disappeared into the new chamber completely! We tried the NO-GO gauge, and this one disappeared into the chamber too! A fired 22 BR Remington case was tried next, and that one disappeared into the barrel too! We put a 243 Winchester case into the chamber – and bingo! It fits perfectly.
As you can imagine, that barrel was thrown away. We called a friend of ours who is a master gunsmith. We told him about our first reaming job. I thought something must have gone wrong with the phone line, as all I could hear was “OH JEEZ, OH JEEZ, OH JEEZ” repeated over and over again! Eventually – about 20 minutes later - I received an earful of insults intermixed with a few words of advice for us to stay away from the lathe. Well, we cannot really follow that advice, we’ve got the lathe and we are going to make some use of it.
Eventually, we managed to persuade our friend on the phone to give us some advice. He offered to make us a reamer holder, as putting the reamer in a chuck and sticking it in the tailstock is not conducive to good gunsmithing practice.
We had to wait for the reamer holder to arrive, and as soon as it did, we all ran back to the lathe. Among the instructions we received was that we should use a drill to start the chamber, and stop just short of the shoulder, using a drill with a slightly smaller diameter than the narrowest part of the reamer.
Now that our master gunsmith had received some instructions, he was ready to try again. And if you remember the old saying “a little knowledge is worse than no knowledge at all!” It turns out to be absolutely true. As our gunsmith gathered all his calipers, micrometer, reamer, and a set of drills around him, we were all pushing each other trying to get closer to see what is going on.
We were told to watch, but keep our mouths shot. And under the threat of being thrown out of the workshop, we had to comply.
This time we were actually using a brand new barrel from Hart in 30 caliber, and it was supposed to be chambered for the 308 Winchester. The chambering was finished, the bolt was tentatively closed on the GO gage, and to all the relief of everyone, the bolt would NOT CLOSE on the NO GO gage. Success at long last.
Bedding the action was not too difficult, as we have members here who are very good at it. A couple of days later, the rifle was ready to be fired. There was no volunteer to test fire the rifle! So I had to have that dubious honour. I loaded a round with a minimum charge and fired it. No drama at all. I opened the bolt and – SURPRISE, SURPRISE – the empty case that came out was like no other that I have EVER seen! It seems to have sprouted a brand new shoulder, in addition to its original one! If you look at the picture at the top you will see what I mean!"

Where did the picture go?

http://www.accuratereloading.com/aword.html

Truly amazing that the Royal Gunsmith had never been trained in how to chamber a rifle barrel with a lathe.
That would be Walter?
Strictly handjobs for Walter?