Can't recall where I came across this but found it funny at the time, I'm pretty sure that the "jokers" here can add to the list...

10. Relieve yourself frequently in the bush.
9. Smuggle Serengeti animal artifacts across borders.
8. Eat raw steaks...upwind.
7. Engage in up close, dental, lion photography.
6. Use Calvin Klein's Obsession as a tsetse fly repellant.
5. Reject your mosquito netting as something that obscures the stars.
4. Eagerly display your new set of orthodontics to a silverback gorilla.
3. Use a watering hole as a wading pool.
2. Play fetch with a hyena.
1."Here rhino, rhino, rhino..."

How about hunting DG with a 45-70

We could use a new 45-70 debate. How many safari goers have been mowed over by DBG whilst hunting with a 45-70?

11 - don't tip your PH well. I have never actually killed a client for this but is IS amaizing what you can live through on the drive back to the airport

quote:

Originally posted by Aspen Hill Adventures:
We could use a new 45-70 debate. How many safari goers have been mowed over by DBG whilst hunting with a 45-70?

Hey Ann, I doubt we would produce a single 45-70 induced casualty despite the overwhelming consensus that one would occur.
LOL

-just figured I would chime in

Refusing to pay a Masai for taking his picture when previously informed that he would pose for pay only.

Play "croc hunter" and grab a black mamba by the tail!

Imitation of Mark Sullivan

Ignore the PH, when he tells you EXACTLY what to do, because you know better!
Treat the PH like your personal slave and then not tip him. At that point you may NOT want to take his advice!

quote:

Originally posted by carmelolisciotto:

quote:

Originally posted by Aspen Hill Adventures:
We could use a new 45-70 debate. How many safari goers have been mowed over by DBG whilst hunting with a 45-70?

I doubt we would produce a single 45-70 induced casualty despite the overwhelming consensus that one would occur.

You are probably right, but that may be due to guys showing up with a 45-70, but then wimping out and using another caliber.

That toothless Tonga woman is the best thing I've seen in awhile. I wonder what I can get for $20?

Regards,

Terry

Tick off your booking agent!

$20 would be a bargain

quote:

Originally posted by PeterV:

10. Relieve yourself frequently in the bush.
9. Smuggle Serengeti animal artifacts across borders.
8. Eat raw steaks...upwind.
7. Engage in up close, dental, lion photography.
6. Use Calvin Klein's Obsession as a tsetse fly repellant.
5. Reject your mosquito netting as something that obscures the stars.
4. Eagerly display your new set of orthodontics to a silverback gorilla.
3. Use a watering hole as a wading pool.
2. Play fetch with a hyena.
1."Here rhino, rhino, rhino..."

* Chase the PH's pretty wife and catch her;
* Chase the PH's pretty adult daughter and catch her;
* Think that lion cub in the bush is cute and like a furry pussy cat. It needs to be petted and held;
* Ooh that baby elephant is such a darling but it is lost, where is it's mother! we must find her.;
* I bet you $100 I can swim across the Zambezi and back again. I am a strong swimmer and the current is not too strong. If I get tired I can rest on one of those "floating logs".
* Let's have some fun running this warvet road block, I bet it will be a real laugh;
* Hippos are herbivores so don't worry about canoeing through a pod of them;

* The best, I was told by a guy in Australia, prostitutes are cheap in Africa! Hey who needs a condom. (PS I do not partake but was given this 'market report'!)

quote:

Originally posted by 500grains:

You are probably right, but that may be due to guys showing up with a 45-70, but then wimping out and using another caliber.

Dan,

Surely not!

*Yanking on the extended lower lip of a Mursi tribeswoman in the Omo Valley.

*Anouncing that you're an Israeli citizen while in Sudan.

*Half opening your tent, and then sleeping with your head or feet sticking out "because it's so hot", in a hyena infested area.

Standing up to take a leak out of a moving safari vehicle after a few "sundowners". Ask JudgeG 'bout that one.

Visit a Zulu village, and yell out "Shaka was an a.. hole".

Try sneaking up on, surprising and killing, on his turf, one of the four or five most dangerous animals on earth.

Not getting an iron clad every possible situation covered contract from your booking agent.

mike

What about taking a stroll in darkest Jo'burg with a wad of dollars in your breast pocket and some designer clothing. Or perhaps wearing a t-shirt with the text "Bring Mandela back to Robben Island"?

Not healty...

Regards,
Marterius

Deciding to go and give "those poachers" a lesson.

Bright yellow "I am not a tourist" T-shirt + those stupid wallets people wear around their neck, after dark, in Jo-burg whilst listening to your ipod...

Taking a dip in rapids as "crocodiles avoid strong currents and rapids"

parking the car downwind when setting a bush fire

neglecting a tourist sign that states "Do not venture on foot beyond the camps perimeter"

trying to hand feed the camps "pet" bull elephant

leaving your gun in the truck whilst inspecting a fresh lion kill

The single most dangerous part of any safari is driving to the airport.

Or, driving from the airport once you land to the hunting camp/lodge. Those RSA ph's drive like a bat out of hell!!

1.Using those "bargin" rounds you bought on E-Bay 2. Skinny dipping 3. While in a Lepoard blind telling your P.H. "yes i see the shot" ,when you dont have a bloody idea which end is which. Charlie

Forgot this one; Not telling your P.H. about your sleep walking problem. Charlie

Getting out of the safari car to take a closeup photo of a pride of lions in Kruger . . . or anywhere else!

Comming home late asking the wife @ the front door with broom in her hand wether she is cleaning or flying some where.

Wimpie
Winter is comming to SA

quote:

Originally posted by wimpie:
Comming home late asking the wife @ the front door with broom in her hand wether she is cleaning or flying some where.

Wimpie
Winter is comming to SA

Charlie

Not realizing a snake is a black mamba and climbing back in your pit blind for another look see... not to bright.

"...not to brite."

Oh, the cruel irony!

All this gun size crap.HUH. I was goin to go for buffs with the 22/250..See I got a plan..If I get that fella on his knees by blowing his bag off,I otta be able to run up and slit his throat.Anybody willing to pay for the film.

Telling your wife what the safari REALLY cost

quote:

Originally posted by Iron/Mtn:
not to brite.

--Edit--

Oops, didn't see Kamo Gari's post. But, I'll leave mine up.