"I know a apprentice PH who had a safari fling with a client's girlfriend. The client was a Russian mobster. This stuck me as an outrageously stupid thing to do. The PH later rendezvoused with the girl in Europe - maybe an even dumber thing to do."

Humm, I met a PH that had several Eastern European clients and commented on how nice looking their wives or girlfriends were. I gave him the Eastern block perspective on that.

A bit of family history first: Though my kin are ethnic Lithuanians we did "business" in Russia. My grandfather killed people and broke things for cash, when he left the old country he found ready employment with a slightly older set of imigrants from south central Europe. We lived overseas for many years while I grew up and my dear old dad settled at least one of my mothers "dilances" with Colt product. He also proved that with enough money you really can buy your way out of anything in the third world.

More to the point: Boinking the significant other of some guy from Kiev might be a very bad thing indeed. Hiding out in the bush for a year might make you think you're safe, but you'll be betting your life on that..or worse. It is not uncommon that if the object of you're rage is unavailable a close relative will do just fine. None of this "men of honor" Italian mob crap. None of this "equivilant responce" crap, if you fuck with them they will make sure you never do again and everyone you know is scared shitless to even think about rubbing them the wrong way.

Kamo,
Impressive Trunk, But no Ivory?

If a guy is worried,he can always bring the Safari to the Bedroom at Home;


DOGCAT,not exactly the same hair and makeup,




But they do Have one thing in common;

Taking your problems into the bush can never be healthy. Ernest Hemingway..."The Short Happy Life of Fancis Macomber".

Sounds like a great way to get rid of the old ball & chain.

Hell I'll bet the starry eyed lust struck PH will be asking for shipping instructions after 2 months!

I'll be sure and take her next time.

I heard that there was a contest among the young PH's in Arusha. It had to do with age differences. The winner was to be the youngest PH who bonked the oldest woman. I think some 22 year old PH won it by bonking some 62 year old wife of a client.

VBR,


Ted Gorsline

quote:

Originally posted by Ted Gorsline:
I heard that there was a contest among the young PH's in Arusha. It had to do with age differences. The winner was to be the youngest PH who bonked the oldest woman. I think some 22 year old PH won it by bonking some 62 year old wife of a client.

VBR,


Ted Gorsline

I'll bet her husband didn't even have to convince her to book a return trip.

Had a your 20ish PH in camp get friendly with a clients 15 year old daughter before. The outfitter ended up finding out and so I was suprised when this PH was still employed when I returned the next summer.

Ranch hunts where PH's wife is around at night are starting to sound pretty good about now. Next planned safari would be a HS graduation present for my soon to be step-daughter.

As a teen, and a bluefin tuna guide out of Cape St.Mary, I was a bit "star stuck" on how some of the more "mature" international clients seemed to have such young wives. They tended to look alot like Marilyn Monroe or Jacky Kennedy to me! This was in the early 70's.

It was only, well...later on in life that I found out that some of these dolls were not wives at all.

I still get shivers now when recalling as we would dock in the evenings, after a full days fishing for bluefin, and Marilyns or Jackys were waiting on the wharf, in their colourful kirchiefs and capris for our clients and how their eyes would look on me a shy 19 year old all redfaced. Ah well!

A couple of years ago I was regaled with a tale by a Zim PH about an eveining in a leopeard blind, with the client and wife. The client was obese, fell asleep and began snoring like crazy. Sleep apnea or something. Wifey made her move, a stalk on the PH's zip. She was successful in taming the white mambe. He said he was never so scared in his life, but she wouldn't give up.

Hmmmmmmm. Good story, maybe true. The PH is still around.

Brian Herne's book "White Hunters" seems to indicate that the old time PH's spent a lot of late night energy stalking the double breasted bed thrasher.

A bunch of them got shot by "excited" hunters when they were being roughed up by dangerous game too. Wonder if there's a connection?

The Sunday Times May 01, 2005

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2092-1592237,00.html

A bullet in the heart of Happy Valley
Jonathan Clayton
Lord Delamere founded the White Mischief set. Last week his great grandson was in a Kenyan court accused of a sensational killing

In the old days, colonial Kenya’s biggest social event by far was Race Week. Fast women and slow horses were obligatory over seven days of excessive drinking, drug-taking and — as ever in Kenya — sex. And towering above the settlers, gamblers, and ne’er do wells was Hugh Cholmondeley, the third Baron Delamere.

“Dâ€, as he was known, would ride his horse into the bar of the Norfolk hotel and attempt to jump clean over a table without disturbing the crockery. In full evening dress, he particularly liked to shoot all the bottles off the counter but insisted the cost be added to his bill, which he always settled in full.

On one occasion, the manager unwisely informed him no more drink would be served. Delamere seized him by the scruff of the neck and locked him up in the meat safe for the night along with several dead sheep.

More than anyone it was the charismatic Delamere who established Kenya’s reputation as a playground for the privileged. Around him grew the decadent elite of the “Happy Valleyâ€, later immortalised in the book White Mischief.

And ironically, it seems it is a Delamere descendant — Thomas Cholmondeley, his great-grandson — who is finally ending the sybaritic idyll that the family started. Last week 37-year-old Cholmondeley appeared in court, charged with the murder of a Kenyan wildlife warden in a case that has caused a sensation and stirred up tensions with the local Masai population.

Samson ole Sisina, 44, was shot dead on the Delamere family’s vast ranch near Lake Naivasha 12 days ago. He was armed and in plain clothes as part of an undercover investigation into the illegal trade in game meat.

The circumstances of the killing are not clear, but Cholmondeley is said to have shot dead Sisina with a bullet to the neck — he says in self-defence. Local whites immediately said it was the result of the police’s failure to tackle a spate of car-jackings, robberies and murders.

“These days you can’t ask questions. People come onto your land behaving as criminals, you don’t take chances. There is a complete collapse in the rule of law in this country,†said Dodo Cunningham-Reed, a local landowner and distant relative of the Delamere family.

It is all a far cry from the heady days which began when Cholmondeley’s great-grandfather Hugh set sail for Africa and settled in Kenya in 1903. An old Etonian, he was adept at promoting settlers’ interests and persuaded a number of friends to join him. By 1907, Kenya was home to Lords Cranworth, Hindlip, Cardross, Howard de Walden and, Egerton of Tatton.

He became a founding member of the Muthaiga club, an elegant colonial-style building where champagne was consumed in vast quantities. Called Africa’s Moulin Rouge, it was the Nairobi base for the Happy Valley set, whose sexual antics coined the joke: “Are you married or do you live in Kenya?â€

Weekend house guests were often required to exchange spouses, drugs were distributed at the door, and men and women swapped tales when it was over — a lifestyle highlighted in James Fox’s fact-based novel White Mischief, turned into the Hollywood film, starring Greta Scacchi.

The scandal revolved around the murder of Lord Erroll, a prolific philanderer who had been enjoying an affair with Diana, wife of Sir Jock Delves Broughton. In January 1941 Erroll was found slumped in his car on the outskirts of Nairobi, with a bullet through his head.

Delves Broughton was tried for the murder but acquitted. He committed suicide in Liverpool in 1942. By then the striking Diana had left him for a millionaire cattle rancher, but eight years later married the fourth baron Delamere — Cholmondeley’s grandfather — a relationship that lasted until his death in 1979.

Though stories of the Delamere set still abound in Kenya, the Happy Valley set has dissolved. Today only a handful of white Kenyan families remain, and their current life is much less glamorous.

“The sun went down a very, very long time ago. There are just a few people here who cannot, will not accept it,†said one of the few old-time white residents.

The reality is that they have a hard life to make ends meet, with the added dangers of official corruption and violence ever present. It is true that most of them still talk in loud upper-class accents, but they drive battered Land Rovers and run modern safari companies or horticulture farms.

There is an air of siege, not least because of increasing bitterness from the Masai. Last Monday, one leader threatened to organise his tribesmen to invade the 100,000-acre Delamere family ranch, claiming the land was deceitfully taken from them in 1904.

In addition to unrest over land, a police crackdown on crime in Nairobi is believed to have driven gangsters into smaller towns. Many white farmers admit they now go to bed with guns at hand, half expecting intruders and have no confidence in the authorities’ ability to prevent crime.

Until recently, many reckoned sporadic murders and backhanders to grasping officials were still worth the prize. Overall, they enjoyed a good life, flitting around in private planes, and enjoying exclusive safaris and long holidays on idyllic beaches.

But even that much-reduced lifestyle could now be at risk Buses are robbed daily and a Briton and a Dutchman have been shot dead in the past six months. Emergency medical treatment can take an hour or more to arrive, and local farmers and business leaders have drawn up a list of members’ blood groups in case someone is attacked.

Meanwhile the descendant of the elegant Hugh Delamere found himself crowded into a dock with six other men last week, his hair shaved to curb the spread of lice common in Kenya’s cells, sleeping on a cardboard mattress and facing life in jail with no parole if convicted. It is a far cry from the pink gin and champagne lifestyle his great-grandfather enjoyed — one, it seems, that has gone for ever.

See: http://www.charlesdance.co.uk/lorderroll.html

Hey Bob, who's the BABE? jorge

Jorge,

I have no idea. It was just a photo included with the article at http://www.charlesdance.co.uk/lorderroll.html

Maybe the photo caption should be "Sexy in the Long Grass"!!

Her dining companion sort of looks like Klaus Maria Brandauer who played Bror Blixen in the movie Out of Africa. The photo might be a scene from the movie but I don't recall the woman in the photo being in the movie.

-Bob F.

He does look like Klaus, but man, she is GOOD LOOKING! jorge

Good grief! I go to Africa to go hunting. Leave you wife and daughters at home!

quote:

Originally posted by Spring:
One fellow brings 2 prostitutes with him on each of annual 21-day safaris.

I always wondered how much money could be spent on "expenses of a personal nature not included in the daily rate" while out in the deep bush.

That article is full of "petty reporting" and read alone sounds very bleak! Insiders" say that he came across a "poaching gang" on his farm and was shot at first to which he responded in kind albeit with more accuracy

Tom Cholmondeley was acquitted when the Attorney General had to drop the case due to insufficient evidence, etc. The whole process took about 10 months and Tom had just started to appear in public again a few months ago.

I saw him end of April at a cross country enduro event in Kenya. 10 days later he was in the news again for having shot AND KILLED a native on his farm who he said had been poaching with dogs. He has been arrested and this time around word is that he is in for life! I suspect jail time will end it quicker than one thinks The whole event has sparked a huge debate and created additional resentment amongst black & white. Not looking good

Dear BwanaMich,

He has to drink and so the prison guards will give him water infected with cholera and he will be dead in three days. That's how its done.

VBR,

Ted Gorsline

quote:

Originally posted by jorge:
Hey Bob, who's the BABE? jorge

It looks like it is a scene from the movie "White Mischief" and the lady is the beautiful actress Greta Scaatchi.

I believe Nitro nailed it. I haven't seen "White Mischief".



Synopsis:
"Based on one of the most scandalous murders in British history, White Mischief transpires in Kenya at a time just before the beginning of World War II. Jock Broughton (Joss Ackland) is a wealthy rancher who becomes taken with a young gold-digger named Diana (Greta Scacchi). Even though he is fully aware of her reasons for doing so, the pair wed. Broughton falls on hard times and loses his fortune. The hedonistic Earl of Erroll (Charles Dance) realizes this change of fortune may make Diana more open to engaging in an affair. One evening, Erroll is found murdered. Broughton is tried for the crime. ~ Perry Seibert, All Movie Guide"
http://entertainment.msn.com/movies/movie.aspx?m=128553



-Bob F.

a very famous writers daughter? hmm, is he american perhaps ? Well i better develop some new ammo . APH , anti ph, a very large hollowpoint bullet that is very flatshooting and does good in the target, try it on watermelon first and let the ph see it. or dond travel to africa with a lady, thats one other way . Well thats the world. Its like Hemingway is sitting and writing the script for God who sends it down to earth. Africa is the place where everything can and will happen.

quote:

Flirting with clients is not professional and Casanova tendencies among staff or guides/ph’s are completely unacceptable

It is one of the unwritten rules, never get into such a sutuation. That is why most PH's are over weight, so the girls won't be interested

Seriously it is the dumbest thing any PH can do.

Wimpie
Never did get a chance at the bushpig

quote:

Well i better develop some new ammo . APH , anti ph, a very large hollowpoint bullet that is very flatshooting and does good in the target, try it on watermelon first and let the ph see it.

Try that bullet on a pear, you only need to get rid of his nuts, he will always remember his mistake.
It also help to find out wheter the PH uses viagra, make sure he doesn't take any with on the trip.

I hunted in new zeland with another couple at the same lodge as me and the woman though atractive was no prize winner she was very standoffish and not frendly at all I could not place why. I had showed no intrest in her at all. her husband by way of apology told us why, turns out they were recently back from africa where an assclown ph that hunts with a big double rifle had hit on her so much she literaly had to hide in their tent when he was in camp he was quite blaitent about the whole deal and in so many words said to her in front of her fella so we gonna fuck or what? why her husband did not shoot the bastard im not sure but acording to the husband it was very clear that the ph was after his wife. and he ended the safari early. the husband told me the ph was totally taken aback by their leaving and just could not understand why she was not interested because of his celebrity status an all I guess.what a dick how does that comercial go "this looks like a good place for a bullet hole"

"edited for content to protect the guilty"

poor girl, but there is a rotten apple everywhere.

quote:

Originally posted by CRUSHER:
an assclown ph that hunts with a big double rifle and "shoots all the game for his clients on film" had hit on her so much she literaly had to hide in their tent when he was in camp he was quite blaitent about the whole deal and in so many words said to her in front of her fella so we gonna fuck or what? why her husband did not shoot the bastard im not sure but acording to the husband it was very clear that the ph was after his wife. and he ended the safari early. the husband told me the ph was totally taken aback by their leaving and just could not understand why she was not interested because of his celebrity status an all I guess.what a dick how does that comercial go "this looks like a good place for a bullet hole"

Wonder who that might be. Hmmmm....

yes , michael moore???

so that is what he do in his spare time!!!

Boy, if this post isn't turning into a trolling event in order to get SOMEBODY to spit out the name of the perpetrating PH.....jorge

soon it will happen, they`ll cross over too the dark side

I wonder if that story is really true or if it is just some somebody made up to screw the reputation of a certain PH with the initials MS?

ThAt took EXACTLY 17 minutes. I must be psychic-or a woman...... jorge

quote:

Originally posted by CRUSHER:
... ph that hunts with a big double rifle and "shoots all the game for his clients on film" had hit on her so much she literaly had to hide in their tent when he was in camp he was quite blaitent about the whole deal and in so many words said to her in front of her fella so we gonna fuck or what? why her husband did not shoot the bastard im not sure but acording to the husband it was very clear that the ph was after his wife....

Should have left his wife with PH and taken the oportunity to go out hunting on his own.
If she was a good loving,caring & considerate woman toward her husband, she would have made the sacrifice ...may not have the perfect wife but he did miss a perfect oportunity.
even if the PH did fire a few of his bandedRN loads through here chamber, its not exactly the kind of mechanism that suffers headspace or lug setback issues.Maybe she was due for some proper regulation. As long as he scrubbed the bore out and put it back in the rack,little would change.In fact the owner may have found its realignment to his advantage and pleasure.
Could have also made a"PornAfrica" movie while they were at it.
worst that could happen is that the guy ends up with an AckleyImprovedWife or wildcat, which is what most men secretly hope for.
both H&W sound too Budwieserpissweak and mild for my liking anyway.

Heres to BigBores,Whores and rattly LandroverDoors

quote:

Originally posted by jorge:
Boy, if this post isn't turning into a trolling event in order to get SOMEBODY to spit out the name of the perpetrating PH.....jorge

Jorge,

I do not know but it reminds me of our old friend Ballbuster.

He had a similar experience:

quote:

Originally posted by BALLBUSTER:
I had my wife along to RSA and we were sitting in camp in the heat of the day, when the PH says to one of the staff in Afrikan " doesn't the Mrs. have a lovely a$$ and big T--s, I'd like to #$%^ her a good one" you should have seen their faces when I replied in Afrikan " I have" then proceeded to teach this 30 yr old PH a few good old fashion Yankee manners!
I led my wife into the main lodge demanded to see the owner and pronto he showed up. I told my story and had another PH inside of an hour along with seeing the original PH booted from camp.
We were treated like true royalty the remainder of our trip and the owner offered extra animals trophy fee pro bono .
I will not mention the name of the company here as most readers will know of it. I will however mention the Ph's name Klug Kristopher ...I assume his lip is back to normal size by now!!!!

Of course, when it was pointed out that he was FOS he replied:

quote:

Originally posted by BALLBUSTER:
the best part is you guys SUCKED it all up!!!!!!

Note: I am not saying anyone is trolling here, just that the story and the obvious allusion to a well-known PH reminded me of this little episode.

I dont know if its true or not I was not there this guy and his wife may be full of it but at the time I had never heard of the ph so I wrote it down in my journal any who years later I ran across his fan club here and found the name again if it is true bad form on his part if not well I did not specificaly name him so it could be any ol assclown Could not give a shit less just an interesting story heard round the dinner table in wanganui new zeland in front of 7 other people beleive it or be wrong up to you

So it begs the question; do you know the name of the PH?. Not that you didn't make it obvious as to whom you were referring to. So either grow a pair and mention his name and be prepared to back it up with facts, or stop throwing troll hand grenades out in an effort to stir up shit. jorge

Jorge, what are you, Sullivan's press agent? I think we all get who he was talking about and you are welcome to believe it or not. I've heard plenty of first hand accounts about him doing much worse.