Rueters, London 13:44 03/31/2009

quote:

World Wildlife Fund announces program for multipurpose elephant relocation program in Australia

This evening at the annual conference held at the Grovsner House in London, the President and Chief Operating Officer of the World Wildlife Fund, Prentice Hasworthy made a long awaited announcement.

To cheers of his audience, Hasworthy revealed that the WWF had received funds from several organizations, including the controversial Safari Club International, Inc., with which WWF will immediately begin a program of relocation of endangered elephants from Southeast Asia to the vast marshes of Northeast Australia.

According to the published report that was simultaniously released with the announcement, approximately 75 Asian elephants will be captured in northern Thailand, Laos and Cambodia and transported by ship to the small port of Trundig in Queensland and, after a short time of acclimation, be released to the wilds to populate the rugged Cape York Peninsula as far south as Port Douglas.

A portion of Hansworthy's description of the plan, however, is sure to bring controversy. Already, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has commented that the Fund's proposal to relocate the elephants is only a ploy to "create a hunting herd for the bloodsport of rich Australians, Americans and Arabs". Dorothy Watson, spokesperson for PETA claims that the contribution from Safari Club proves that "killing, not conservation" is the hidden agenda by the organizers of the project.

Hasworthy was not available for comment concerning PETA's allegations, but it is expected that hunting may be one of the "multi-purpose" reasons for the relocation. Sources also report that the elephants' diets will be supplemented with residue from Australian breweries, making the elephants reproduce rapidly, thus necessitating a program of culling to keep populations managable. Studies conducted on Australian women who consume large quanities of beer seem to give credence to this opinion.

Inquiries were made as to the source of the funding other than from Safari Club. Over a trillion Zimbabwe dollars were traced to an Arab Sheikh of the royal family located in Dubai.

Hey, its already April 1st down under, isn't it.

Judge,

you da man. (Don't you just hate that expression?)From the WWF I would believe anything, obviously. You got me but good.

Great!!

You had me going all the way up to the beer swilling aussie chicks.

GOOD ONE.

Larry

Good one!!

You had me 100%!
I went "WHAT are these IDIOTS thinking?"

Still laughing...

Salute Judge! I could not help myself, copied it and fwd it to all my buds in SCI.

Better elephants than poisonous cane toads...

Nice one for sure. I can hardly wait for tiomorrow.

Oh Man! I was ready to get my 45-70 stocked in a plastic stock for the hunt.

Texas is a closer and more likely destination!

quote:

Originally posted by mrlexma:
Texas is a closer and more likely destination!

Some of us have been preparing for that eventuality.

Nice one Ernest!

Hook, line and sinker...
You reeled me in.
I did not suspect anything until the paragraph about the testing of brewery leftovers on the reproductive rates of elephants and Aussie "shelia's". I even almost believed that based on what little I know of the fairer sex in Australia...

Should we start a separate thread about the best cartridge/rifle combo to hunt drunk Aussie elephants?

touche!

I bought some Foster's stock yesterday. I wonder if I'll be prosecuted for insider trading or have to give up my bonus?

Would write more, but a car load of Aussie chicks just rang my door bell.

I wish!

More power to my convict descended friends. Being from the great state of Georgia, my forebears got here courtesy of the King and English justice, too. Or that's the British story??

Good humor to you folks and watch for those incipient upside-down pachyderms. Nothing like a five pound turd in your driveway.

BTW, I've got a little company that'll sell you dung beetles to clean up the mess. Just go to and order some. Dung beetles for sale!

I wuz had!

I've been advising African elephants would be perfect for Tasmania for years!

I've been thinking about OZ lately. You had me ready to call my travel agent. Payback is due Judge!

quote:

Originally posted by Charles_Helm:

quote:

Originally posted by mrlexma:
Texas is a closer and more likely destination!

Some of us have been preparing for that eventuality.