I’m heading back to the US tomorrow from a business trip to Venezuela. After overnighting in Caracas, I noticed something about the arrest of an American hunter with African safari experience in this morning's local newspaper. It shocked me and will undoubtedly hit the US papers shortly. Here is the article from El Nacional – the state-run national newspaper on their English service website:


American Gun Runner Arrested at Airport

CARACAS, 1 April 2015 (Agencia Bolivariana de Noticias) – Agents from SEIN and national customs arrested an American arms merchant at the Simón Bolívar International Airport yesterday.

A senior official from SEIN confirmed that Mr. Heywood Jablome of Elksanus, Idaho was intercepted by Venezuelan law enforcement and intelligence agents as he attempted to smuggle two sniper rifles and ammunition through the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela.

According to witnesses to his arrest, Jablome claimed that his flight stopped in Caracas for a two-hour layover and was “in transit to Argentina” where he was allegedly planning to hunt wild game. However, investigation by state security personnel discovered that Jablome was a registered arms exporter in the United States with a passport documenting travel to countries in Africa with a history of colonial exploitation.

Speaking to a reporter from El Nacional, the Managing Director of the Bolivarian Intelligence Service, Mr. Poncho Liner, explained that Mr Jablome was found to have two high-powered sniper rifles checked in his luggage. “Jablome was carrying documentation that proved that he was a merchant of death. We found in his possession US government papers identifying him as a commercial arms exporter.”

Jablome was carrying a company tax identification number – called an EIN – that authorized him to export weapons with the full knowledge and approval of the United States Department of Homeland Security. Director Liner believes that this constitutes, “ample evidence that this gringo is working for the CIA” and probably supporting terrorists bent on “destabilizing the Bolivarian revolution in Venezuela” by selling them “tools for assassination”.

The smuggled weapons are described as “bolt-action sniper rifles built originally for the Nazi’s by their infamous Mauser factory” with long-range telescopes “capable of killing President Maduro or innocent school children from over 250-meters”.

“It is preposterous for him to claim that he is a ‘hunter’”, said Liner. “After all, why would a hunter need to be a commercial exporter of firearms? Does the CIA think we’re stupid?”

Jablome is being held in Room 101 at the Vista Hermosa prison pending further charges of espionage, weapons smuggling, and conspiracy to commit political assassination without a license. Sources indicate that after only an hour of interrogation, Jablome confessed to being a member of the CIA. “We are gratified that our suspicions have been validated”, said Vista Hermosa prison superintendent Mr. Ernesto Guadalupe Joseph-and-Mary-Concepción. It is also reported that Jablome subsequently admitted to kidnapping the Lindbergh baby and having discovered a cure for cancer.

Jablome’s fiancé, Ms. Constance Noring, was also arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to commit murder and public mayhem. She was discovered to be carrying two concealed assassination daggers cleverly disguised as knitting needles and yards of "strangulation twine".


Scary stuff. I’m wondering if this could be an unintended consequence of the new Homeland Security firearms Automated Export System and AESDirect?

I just wonder what was the date yesterday?

If this is not related to date, it is scary!

Damn funny

You should do the us version where all financial transaction by arms exporters with ein need to be registered with treasury, atf can inventory all equipment at arms dealers ect ect

Mike

It's not all that far-fetched now that we are all going to be arms dealers.

Please don't post the April fool thing again. I really meant it. Is a moderator going to notice my repeated requests. Nice April Fools Saeed, but I shouldn't be saddled with it forever.

Anyone else here from Elksanus?

Me neither.

And so it begins....

Jeff

Yet another reason for open season on democrats..

I believe that Harry S. Crotim is from Idaho. His non-de-plume here on AR is Blueballs. Don't know if he is from Elksanus but possibly from Beargina, which is just over the hump from there.


Dutch

Ha! You had me at "hey would ja blow me." Good stuff Kim, thanks.

Sad that there are elements of potential truth there though...

I have heard Mr. Jablome being paged at the airport also.

One of my traveling companions MAY have thought he saw him in the terminal, and used the public announcement system to summon him to the bar we were waiting in for our flight.

"Now paging Mr. Jablome, Mr Jablome. Mr Heywood Jablome, meet your party at the Bar in Terminal B".

Priceless.

This should have been moved to the Humor section!