Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He travels up to Alaska, spots a small brown bear and shoots it. Right
afterwards, there was a tap on his shoulder and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That was my cousin and I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex."

After considering briefly, Frank decided to choose the latter alternative over death. So the black bear has his way with Frank. Even though he
felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge.

He headed out on another trip back to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right afterwards, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.

The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex."

Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly has his way with Frank. Although
he survived, it took several months before Frank fully recovered.

Now Frank is completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shoot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.

The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it Frank, you don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"

Good one, Will!

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Thats just to good!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talk about unsafe sex!

I remember another time Frank went hunting bears.
He turned up at the guides camp and was told he wouldn't need any guns for this hunt. He was given a great big dog on a leash and the guide had a rifle.

Off they went and happend across a small bear.
"That one looks good", said the guide, "let go the dog!" Frank unleashed the dog and off it took after the bear, which to escape scaled the nearest tree.
"Wait there" said the guide and began shaking the hell out of the tree(it was a skinny tree). The bear fell out at which point the enormous canine lept upon it and fornicated it to death.
"Jesus H Christ!" said Frank, what a way to go.

Off they went again and soon came across a larger bear. Frank let the ferocious mutt off and once again it chased the bear up the tree. This tree was a little larger and the guide really had to give it a shakin before the bear plopped out of it.

It was greeted with the same grizzly death (excusing the pun) as the first was by the horny dog.

Well it was getting late and the guide thought they would try for one more. Lo and behold there was the biggest bear they had seen in their life.

Off went the dog and surprisingly even this bear shot up the nearest tree.

This was a big tree and try as he might the guide just couldn't shake the bear out of it.

"well frank" he said "i'm gonna have to go up after this bear and maybe poke him out along the thin branches at the top to get him to drop"

"What do you want me to do?"asked frank.

"You take my rifle",answered the guide "and if I fall out of the tree, shoot the dog"

This one is about "the mutt" in the above joke...

On the first day of school the teacher wanted to know what the students did during summer break. One kid after another told of their adventures, until it was little Johnny's turn.
The teacher knew of little Johnny's "adventures", and knew Johnny likes to lie.
"I caught the world's largest fish up in Alaska this summer!"
"Really Johnny?" asked the teacher. "Do tell more."
"I also caught and rode a moose like a horse!"
The teacher thought he'd tell an even bigger lie to teach Johnny that lying is not good. "Well," said the teacher, "I was fishing in Alaska this summer, and this massive brown bear charged after me! All of a sudden, a little dog came out of no where, and jumped up on the bear's back, and chewed the bear to death!"
The class room became silent... then Johnny said "Yup, that was MY dog, and thats the sixth bear it's killed so far!"
~~~Suluuq