Dear God: We Dogs can understand human
verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee
flight paths. What do humans understand?



Dear God: More meatballs,
less spaghetti, please.


Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?



Dear God: Here is a list of
just some of the things I must remember
to be a good Dog:


1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats
it or after he throws it up.


2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,
crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.


3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.


4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.


5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.


6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.


7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying
'hello'.


8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee
table.


9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not
after.


10. I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the
carpet.


11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch.


12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy', so when I play with him and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing.



P..S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven,
may I have my testicles back?

That was great!

As to #3, we refer to that as Catschidt Roca.

outstanding

thank you