Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife was really pissed. She told him, "Tomorrow morning I
expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6
seconds... and it better be there... OR ELSE!"

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work while his wife was still sleeping.

When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough
there was a gift-wrapped box in the middle of the driveway. But it was
quite small.

Curious and confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the
driveway and brought the box back in the house. She quickly tore off the
wrapping and found... a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.