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You're an extreme redneck when

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03 June 2015, 03:46
xgrunt
You're an extreme redneck when
You're An EXTREME Redneck When.
1 You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2 The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3 You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4 You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
5 You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6 Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'
7 You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8 Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9 Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
And in closing....
Two good ol' boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd,
"If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says,
"Well, I don't know about kin, but it would shore make us even!"
03 June 2015, 06:11
Idaho Sharpshooter
Or, if your grandmother has ever said "Whoooeee, you'all got to come see this..." and then asked you to bring an axe into the bathroom.
03 June 2015, 08:00
Use Enough Gun
rotflmo
03 June 2015, 08:32
NormanConquest
They discovered that the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas;anywhere else they would have called it the teethbrush.


Never mistake motion for action.
03 June 2015, 19:28
Brice
You have personalized license plates. Your uncle made them.
04 June 2015, 02:56
lal
Thank you for the laugh, I enjoyed that !
09 June 2015, 04:10
Grizzly Adams
They forgot, if one or more of your kids were conceived beside the pool table. Big Grin

Grizz


Indeed, no human being has yet lived under conditions which, considering the prevailing climates of the past, can be regarded as normal. John E Pfeiffer, The Emergence of Man

Those who can't skin, can hold a leg. Abraham Lincoln

Only one war at a time. Abe Again.