Ole & Clarence

Ole lived across the river from Clarence, whom he didn't like at all.
They all the time were yelling across the river at each other. Ole would
yell to Clarence, "If I had a vay to cross dis river, I'd come over dere
an beat you up good, yeah sure yabetcha by golly!"

This went on for years. Finally, the state built a bridge across the
river right there by their houses. Ole's wife, Lena, says, "Now is your
chance, Ole. Vhy don't you go over dere and beat up dat Clarence like
you said you voud?"

Ole says, "OK, by yiminy, I tink I vill do yust dat."

Ole started for the bridge but he sees a sign on the bridge and he stops
to read it. Then he turns around and comes back home.

Lena asked, "Vhy did you come back?"

Ole said, "Lena, I tink I change my mind 'bout beatin'up dat Clarence.
Dey put a sign on da bridge dat says "Clarence is 13 ft. 6 in." You
know, he don't look near dat big vhen I yell at him from across da
river."

Good one!