Wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are
laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a
bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying,
send me your tears. I love you!"

The husband, typically non-romantic, replied,


“I am on the toilet. Please advise."

He deserves everything he will not receive.