Jeff Foxworthy's Version of Michigan


If you consider it a sport to gather your food by
drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that
the food will swim by, you might live in Michigan.

If you're proud that your region makes the national
news 96 nights each year because Pellston is the coldest spot in the
nation, you might live in Michigan.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November
through March, you might live in Michigan.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five
months out of the year, you might live in Michigan.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they
don't work there, you might live in Michigan.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around
the middle of his forehead, you might live in Michigan.

If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time,
you might live in Michigan.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
you might live in Michigan.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan.

You know you're a true MICHIGANDER when....

1. "Vacation" means going up north on I-75.

2. You measure distance in hours.

3. You know several people who have hit a deer more
than once.

4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same
day.

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during
a raging blizzard, without flinching.

6. You see people wearing fall formal wear
(camouflage) at social events (including weddings).

7. You install security lights on your house and
garage and leave both unlocked.

8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife
knows how to use them.

9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over
a snowsuit.

10. Driving is better in the winter because the
potholes are filled with snow.

11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter,
still winter and road construction.

12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a deer "bow
target" next to your blue spruce.

14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking
age.

15. "Down South" to you means Ohio .

16. A Muskrat is something you can eat.

17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new
pole barn.

18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.

19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to
frost.

20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your
car.

21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

22. You drink pop and bake with soda.

23. Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you
know it's not medicine.

24. You know what a Yooper is.

25. You think owning a Honda is Un- American.

26. You know that UP is a place, not a direction.

27. You know it's possible to live in a thumb.

28. You understand that when visiting Detroit, the
best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest.

29. You actually understand these jokes,

What about da trolls? Yoo forgot ta mention da trolls!! Does guys livin' below da bridge.

Sounds pretty accurate.

( To this old New Yorker, Michigan sounds like a great place! - and I mean that!)

If the first border you cross when traveling due north, east or south is the Canadian border, you might be from Michigan.

quote:

Originally posted by gerry375:
( To this old New Yorker, Michigan sounds like a great place! - and I mean that!)

Thanks man! It is. Come and visit sometime. Just bring your long under-britches, rain-suit, sunblock, swimsuit and tip-ups. And don't forget your hat.

30. Point to your left hand to show where places are located.

Garryowen

What part of SE MI are you from pshooter?

quote:

Originally posted by marlin32_20:
What part of SE MI are you from pshooter?

I've been transplanted from Lapeer to West Bloomfield! It sucks! I gotta get back to the country! Work up a new load...try it out the back door!

I feel your pain! I recently moved from the country to Toledo. The city is really putting a hurt my shooting and hunting.

time to get an air rifle marlin!!!

Clem:

Thanks for the invite. I understood your checklist of what to bring - We have some changeable weather in upstate NY, too!

On a serious note - all my life (and I'll be 76 in a few weeks) I knew the Upper Peninsula to be really fantastic deer and bear hunting country. So why didn't I come? You do this and then you don't do that. Story of my life. (BTW, speaking of Jeff Foxworthy reminds me of a line a I heard him get off some years ago when Atlanta was up for consideration as a site of the Summer Olympics. He predicted that if it happened that the rednecks would be shooting with their 12 gauges from the bed of their pickup at the doves of Peace released at beginning of the Games!)