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English, What a Language??

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21 November 2003, 02:06
raamw
English, What a Language??
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into the sewer.

16. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

17. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

18. Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.

19. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

21. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

22. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

23. Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

24. If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese? One index, two indices?

25. You can make amends but not one amend.

26. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

27. If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

28. People recite a play and play at a recital?

29. Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

30. Noses run, and feet smell.

31. A slim chance and a fat chance are the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, where we park on driveways and drive on parkways, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on........

And all with the simple arrangement of twenty-six letters!

And lastly...why doesn't BUICK rhyme with QUICK?
21 November 2003, 02:19
muzzle
Great.
21 November 2003, 02:58
Plinker603
[QUOTE]And lastly...why doesn't BUICK rhyme with QUICK?

[Confused] Beats me! I'm saving my brain power to try and think of a word that starts with "Q" that ISN'T followed by "U."

Plinker603
21 November 2003, 03:02
Dutch
Geez, guys, try it as a second language [Eek!] . Dutch.
21 November 2003, 04:04
Hobie
This is fantastic! Thanks.
21 November 2003, 05:59
Dago Red
:-) Glad it is my first (and so far only!) language. I was reading those sentences and even I pronounced things wrong a couple of times. It makes you wonder how it all was developed doesn't it?

Red
21 November 2003, 11:40
KMuleinAK
quote:
Originally posted by Plinker603:
[QUOTE]And lastly...why doesn't BUICK rhyme with QUICK?

[Confused] Beats me! I'm saving my brain power to try and think of a word that starts with "Q" that ISN'T followed by "U."

Plinker603

You got that right [Mad] - I looked in the dictionary, found "Qatar" (country on the Persian Gulf) and "qiana" (a silk like manmade fabric chemically classed as nylon) - I showed the above items to my Spanish instructor, she laughed and said "so you think Spanish is tough, you should learn English as a second language!!!" - she is from Peru originally, now teaches Spanish to us gringos in Alaska.... and yes, she is a hottie [Big Grin] [Eek!] [Big Grin] [Eek!] - KMule
24 November 2003, 05:59
45nut
"26. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?"
I would surmise that the item is a "keeper".....45nut
24 November 2003, 20:43
derf
LOL with 45nut! I was thinking"leftover"! [Big Grin] derf
06 December 2003, 11:56
Wildcat Crazy
I'll tell you no lies,while in their lairs,the
hair of a hare lies in layers.

WC
06 December 2003, 16:53
OldFart
I alway duck when I see a duck.
06 December 2003, 18:43
jds
My wife and I are keeping an Exchange Student from Germany. Sarah's English is not bad but I had a lot of fun with her and this post.

Everytime I read one to her she kinda got that "deer in the headlights" look!!! [Big Grin]

JDS
06 December 2003, 18:47
Wildcat Crazy
Would you bet a buck that a buck could buck a buck off?

WC