20 May 2015, 18:30
butchlocyou decide
A man went to the ER to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis.
According to the nurse attending, the patient's girlfriend found the ring
in his pants pocket. She got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to
slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.
Now you decide what's worse:
1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.
2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.
3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.
20 May 2015, 19:01
olgrouserThat's a 3 point shot for there girlfriend!
20 May 2015, 21:13
Idaho SharpshooterMy wife says #3. Sadly, I have to agree.
Rich
20 May 2015, 22:14
MoremonteGlad That I Never Wore One!! There Are No Good Choices There!!
Won't wear a ring on my finger, in my nose or, well ... anywhere else.
22 May 2015, 16:41
Slowpoke SlimTrue story,
Many years ago, I was a volunteer for Search and Rescue for Otero county, NM while stationed at Holloman AFB.
One of the guys in my rescue unit was also a licensed EMT. He used to volunteer down at the local hospital nights and weekends. One day during a low angle training session, he regaled us with this story;
It seemed that that weekend, a couple came into the ER, with the young man in such agony he could barely walk. Neither one wanted to say what the matter was in the lobby, but he was in such obvious pain, and the waiting room was nearly empty, that my friend just ushered them into an empty bed.
Upon getting the story, and getting his pants dropped, the young couple had decided to play around with his wedding band, and yup, they had managed to get it all the way down to the base of the young man's "unit". There it stayed, stuck, and they couldn't get it off.
My friend had to go find a pair of side cutting pliers to cut the metal band off. Finally managed to cut it off to the poor man's obvious relief, and gave them both a stern lecture about "playing games", and sent them on their way.
21 July 2015, 12:16
georgeldLate niece worked in a ER in CA. Told about a guy that came in with a PITA. They found a long light bulb up his ass. It broke getting it out.
George
23 July 2015, 08:30
NormanConquestA friend of mine is an R.N. in the E.R. at Brack . Hosp. here in Austin Several years ago a kid (teenager) came in with his parents. He was having abdominal pains. They took him back + discovered that he had inserted a 26" doble headed dildo up his ass + his sphincter muscle contracted + he could not remove it. The Dr. operated + put the "toy" in a bucket + said they could have if they wanted.The real humor of this was after that the nurses all started calling him Dr. Dolittle,of the Push me Pull you fame.
We have a 700 nitro express rifle, and people are always amazed at the size of the hole in the barrel.
Walter tells them that to qualify to shoot it, one has to prove that his dick does fit in the barrel!!
24 July 2015, 07:56
Grizzly Adamsquote:
Originally posted by Slowpoke Slim:
True story,
Many years ago, I was a volunteer for Search and Rescue for Otero county, NM while stationed at Holloman AFB.
One of the guys in my rescue unit was also a licensed EMT. He used to volunteer down at the local hospital nights and weekends. One day during a low angle training session, he regaled us with this story;
It seemed that that weekend, a couple came into the ER, with the young man in such agony he could barely walk. Neither one wanted to say what the matter was in the lobby, but he was in such obvious pain, and the waiting room was nearly empty, that my friend just ushered them into an empty bed.
Upon getting the story, and getting his pants dropped, the young couple had decided to play around with his wedding band, and yup, they had managed to get it all the way down to the base of the young man's "unit". There it stayed, stuck, and they couldn't get it off.
My friend had to go find a pair of side cutting pliers to cut the metal band off. Finally managed to cut it off to the poor man's obvious relief, and gave them both a stern lecture about "playing games", and sent them on their way.
They have a special tool for that.
http://www.amazon.com/Instrume...EMOVER/dp/B000MRBBDQ Grizz
