AN AIRPLANE WAS ABOUT TO CRASH; THERE WERE 5 PASSENGERS ON BOARD, BUT ONLY 4 PARACHUTES.

THE FIRST PASSENGER, HOLLY MADISON SAID, "I HAVE MY OWN REALITY SHOW AND I AM THE SMARTEST AND PRETTIEST WOMAN AT PLAYBOY, SO AMERICANS DON'T WANT ME TO DIE."SHE TOOK THE FIRST PACK AND JUMPED OUT OF THE PLANE.

THE SECOND PASSENGER, JOHN MCCAIN, SAID, "I'M A SENATOR, AND A DECORATED WAR HERO FROM AN ELITE NAVY UNIT FROM THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA ." SO HE GRABBED THE SECOND PACK AND JUMPED.
THE THIRD PASSENGER, DONALD TRUMP SAID, "I AM GOING TO BE THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, I AM THE SMARTEST MAN IN OUR COUNTRY, AND I WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" .
SO HE GRABBED THE PACK NEXT TO HIM AND JUMPED OUT.

THE FOURTH PASSENGER, BILLY GRAHAM, SAID TO THE FIFTH PASSENGER, A 10-YEAR-OLD SCHOOLGIRL, "I HAVE LIVED A FULL LIFE AND SERVED MY GOD THE BEST I COULD. I WILL SACRIFICE MY LIFE AND LET YOU HAVE THE LAST PARACHUTE. "
THE LITTLE GIRL SAID, "THAT'S OKAY, MR. GRAHAM. THERE'S A PARACHUTE LEFT FOR YOU. THE SMARTEST MAN IN AMERICA TOOK MY SCHOOLBAG ."

The last time I heard that one the smartest man in the world was Kissinger and the hippie told the priest that he took his backpack.

Ranb

Mean while a self proclaimed Emperor Of The World was dancing in Cuba

quote:

Originally posted by ranb40:
The last time I heard that one the smartest man in the world was Kissinger and the hippie told the priest that he took his backpack.

Ranb

That's how I remembered it too.

Man, now I'm trying to remember who the other people on the plane were!

Ok just googled it and it was Nixon, Kissinger, and Billy Graham....

Nixon grabs one saying, "I am the president of the Uniteed States, the leader of the free world and the most important man in the world.
It is important that I survive" and jumps out.
Kissinger also grabs one saying "I'm the world's smartest man and the advisor to the president. It is important that I too survive" and jumps out.
Then Billy Graham says to the hippie, "Go ahead, my son, you can take the last parachute."
And the hippie says, "Don't worry reverend, there's two left, the world's smartest man just grabbed my knapsack".

Also discovered this jewel from mark Twain:

"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it."

True,we don't have any new jokes. I may have to reinstate my punchline thread on the humor forum.

Well as Garrison Keilor says, "The nice thing about getting old is the jokes are funny every time!"