The lawyer and the car wreck.
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was hopping up and down with rage, complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!" he shrieked.

"You lawyers are so materialistic it's amazing!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

"Oh no...." replied the lawyer, looking down and noticing for the first time the bloody stump where his left arm had once been.

"Where's my Rolex???"

You know what I like about lawyers------NOTHING !!!

Hip

Damn, that's funny even to this lawyer!

Every ecosystem needs bottom feeders!

As a lawyer, I guess I can tell one, so here goes:

There's only one lawyer joke. The rest are all true stories!

But just remember, everyone hates lawyers until you need one.

And in truth it's more the fault of the judicial system than the lawyers who as any capitalist is willing to milk that cow for all it's worth. EVERYONE reading this has in their lifetime had at least one legal problem. The lawyers position was to keep YOU out of durance vile passed by the judicial system (not the lawyer) + at that time one might be excused for the thoughts of release from a system that really makes no sense anymore.