30 March 2007, 00:55
prof242New Species to Hunt
Gentlemen:
We have long been into hunting and have our favorite species. However, I think it behooves us to consider other species to be put on our agendas. I will be the first with a suggested quarry.
Methinks the Double-Breasted Mattress Thrasher (DBMT) should be high on the list. Going deep into the bush while on safari is an awesome experience. Having bagged a DBMT, you can't help but want to do it over and over again. But, be careful! This quarry has been known to get its claws into an innocent man, tearing his heart out, and rendering him into a crying, penniless, skeleton that no hospital can put back together.
Weapon or weapons used must be chosen with the greatest alacrity. Some will recommend using the most ancient of armaments, the male spear. Although a mighty weapon, all hunters are not endowed with the same quality of device. Although we often say size doesn't matter, think of hunting an elephant with a .22 rimfire! Shaft length and thickness are a necessity, though I've heard that thickness is preferred. Skill when using said weapon is also of utmost importance. Your skill may, I said may, make up for some size difference, but overall success demands both.
Another means of taking our DBMT is the Caliber 3.00 Clittwerler. This is a very sophisticated method of subduing the DBMT. Learn to always follow up your first climactic moment with a second, and you will be considered an expert.
I hope this brief treatise has whetted your appetite for going after this species, plus others that are out there. Others? Yes! Like the Miniature Boobie, the Asian Nutcracker, and of course, the South American Hairy Taco.
30 March 2007, 01:35
AlloutProf -
The DBMT was the first quarry I ever took out after as a young man on my own - and may I be blessed enough that it is the last I encounter when my days end as a DOM (Dirty Old Man).
That was great. Thanks.
Brian
30 March 2007, 01:37
AlloutBut don't forget to include the famed and highly allusive South African Willey Walloer or the Australian DipntheDo in that "Other" catagory.
30 March 2007, 05:28
JLarssonquote:
Originally posted by prof242:
But, be careful! This quarry has been known to get its claws into an innocent man, tearing his heart out, and rendering him into a crying, .penniless, skeleton that no hospital can put back together
Not to mention "penisless". Can you say "Lorena
BOBBITT???
