I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and
exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist
asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer/wine?"

"Oh no," I replied. "I've never done either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said "No, I've heard that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing
golf/sailing/ballooning/rock climbing ?"

"No, I don't," I said.

He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually
fool around?"

"No," I said. "I've never done any of those things."

He looked at me and asked, "Then why do you give a shit if you live to
be 80?"

Thus, said Samuel Clemens, "the man was like a sinking boat with no baggage left to throw overboard.

"He had obviously neglected his habits."