A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high bridge, about to jump off.

An old homeless guy who was wandering by stopped and said,
"Look, since you'll be dead in a few minutes, and it won't matter to you, how about a quickie before you go?"

She screamed, "NO! Bug off you filthy old bastard!"

He shrugged and turned away saying, "Okay then, I'll just go and wait at the bottom."

She didn't jump.
Object lesson: Suicide counseling really does work!

Guy somewhere in the Middle East calls the local suicide Hot Line and tells the counselor he's despondent, tired of living and wants to end it all.

Can you drive a truck ?

Grizz