01 April 2018, 08:34
OTTOMATICNew CEO
A new CEO takes over at a struggling company and decides to get rid of all the slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. He can't believe this guy would just stand around on the job.
The new CEO walks up to the guy leaning against the wall and asks, "What are you doing here?"
"I'm just waiting to get paid," responds the man.
Furious, the CEO asks "How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young fellow replies, "I make about $300 a week. Why?"
The CEO quickly gets out his check book, hands the guy a check made out to cash for $1,200 and says, "Here's four weeks' pay, now get out and don't come back."
The man puts the check in his pocket and promptly walks out.
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what just happened here?"
From across the room comes a voice, "Yeah, you just tipped the pizza delivery guy $1,200."
01 April 2018, 17:09
BNagel"So they fired the rower." (Another great joke to follow this most excellent story.)
Three guys are waiting for their Foreign Legion execution, a Frenchman, a Japanese man and a Texan. When asked for their respective last requests, the following, in order :
"One last time, before I die I want to hear the national anthem, "La Marseillaise."
"One last time before I die, I want to hear a lecture on Japanese management!"
"Well, my request is to be shot first. I cannot stand the thought of one more lecture on Japanese management!"