05 August 2017, 20:32
nvmichaelNo Sex Tonight!
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion started to heat up, but then she said "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she said the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?". Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day, I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, high-end department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a tsunami. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. But, I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She appeared to be almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear; let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"
I then said "Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial means as a man, enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently, NO SEX TONIGHT either!
06 August 2017, 08:40
NormanConquestWas worth it though,was'nt it?
07 August 2017, 21:41
drm-hpOnly if he wakes up in the morning.
07 August 2017, 22:52
Gatogordoquote:
Originally posted by drm-hp:
Only if he wakes up in the morning.
....with all the equipment he went to sleep with....
08 August 2017, 00:57
boarkillerRight there
Divorce is what the doctor ordered and wide search for 20's something- for dinner...
08 August 2017, 03:29
Moremonte
Just Goes To Show Y'all. Paybacks Can Be a Real Bitch If Done Right!!
08 August 2017, 09:13
NormanConquestOn the U.T. radio station here they had a Friday Latin program.Right after the Loreena Bobbit thing there was a Brazilian song that the chorus went,"no no Loreena,AAIIIEEE!"