A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, “Johnny what is your problem?”

Little Johnny answered, “I’m too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!”

The teacher had had enough. She took Little Johnny to the principal’s office. While Little Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.

The principal told the teacher he would give Johnny a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave.

The teacher agreed. Little Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: “What is 3 x 3?” Johnny: “9″.

Principal: “What is 6 x 6?” Johnny: “36″.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.

The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, “I think Johnny can go to the third grade. He answered correctly every question a third grader can.”

The teacher says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions?”

The principal and Little Johnny both agree.

The teacher asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”

Little Johnny, after a moment, “Legs.”

Teacher: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”

The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question! Johnny replied, “Pockets.”

Teacher: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?” Johnny: “Pants”

Teacher: “What’s starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?” The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.

Johnny: “Coconut”

Teacher: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?” Johnny: “Bubblegum”

Teacher: “What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog does on three legs?”

The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer. Johnny: “Shake hands”

Teacher: “You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.” Johnny: “Tent”

Teacher: “A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.”

The principal was looking restless and a bit tense.

Johnny: “Wedding Ring”

Teacher: “What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of excitement?” Johnny: “Firetruck”

Then the teacher nodded to the principal signalling she was done.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,

“Put his ass in the sixth grade! I totally missed the last eleven questions myself.”