An elderly couple were sitting in church.

About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband,
'I just let out a silent fart - what do you think I should do?'

He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'......

LOL!!

FB

I got a church joke, it might be old so be kind.

This guy came home from church with a black eye. His wife asked him what happened and he told her that he sat behind a robust lady, and when they stood up to sing he noticed that her skirt had gotten jammed in her buttcrack. Beeing a gentleman he pulled it out and she hit him.

Next weekend he comes back with the other eye black, and of course his wife wonders now what. He tells he ended up behind the same heavy woman. And just like last time her skirt stuck between her buttcheeks. The guy next to him pulled the skirt out, but he knew she didnt like that and put it back in. And she hit him again.

I might have ruined it during translation.

It's Ole and Sven time!

Ole: There was free nookie at the picnic.
Sven: Did you get some?
Ole: No, but my wife, Olga, did.