Yesterday I was at my local Sam's Club buying a large bag of Purina dog
chow for my loyal pet, Rover and was in the checkout line when a woman
behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Purina Diet again... I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most
of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete
so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here
that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food
poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's
ass and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.
Sam's Club won't let me shop there anymore..

marvelous update on a classic.

When I told it I said I was sitting in the driveway licking my balls and my wife backed her car over me!

Rich