I was talking to a friend the other day and he said to me

Bob---I don't know what is the matter with me lately! I mean to say one thing and a totally different thing comes out.

What do you mean, give me an example.

He said---Well the other day I was at the train station and there was young girl behind the ticket counter with really large breasts!

When it was my turn I meant to say----give me two tickets to Pittsburg.

What came out was "Give me two "PICKETS TO TITSBURG" I said----Don't feel bad, It happens to me all the time!

Just the other day I as having breakfast with my wife and I meant to say---Please pass the Post Toasties and what came out was----------------

"YOU NO GOOD BITCH YOU RUINED MY LIFE!

Hip

Then there was the one about the big shot exac who was to give a speech, + as he was a busy man he sent out his aide to buy him a new suit while he worked on his speech. The aide returns with a suit that was not at all what he wanted but the clock was out so he wore it. When he got on the stage with his purple + orange check suit he tells the audience, "First of all, this is partially my fault by not making it clear to my subordinate that what I wanted was a Seersucker from Coxs but he brought me the opposite."